Qinghe #1

清河一小

2008年我在清河一小又重新上一年级（福利院外面的公共学校）。当我上学的时候，我很兴奋。我是一个好学生。在课堂上我积极举手发言。在一年级的期中考试我的数学，语文和英语都是第一名。不过有一个同学不同意。英语和数学我得了100，语文99。韩博轩（同学）说他语文得了100，但我也不怎么确定谁的分数是最高的。当我的分数是全班第一，很多同学都很羡慕我。我很高兴。所有的老师都很喜欢我。

随着时间的推移我的同学就开始不公平的对待我。我也不知道是什么原因。所有同学都不想跟我交朋友而且他们觉得我很脏很臭。我非常伤心因为他们不想跟我玩。我真希望我能跟他们交朋友。所有我就试了再试，但他们就想让我滚开因为我“很脏”。女孩比男孩要更要嫌弃我。那些女生就想是个公主然而我是一个很丑的人，所以她们不向碰我，就连我的东西他们也不想碰。最后我不耐烦了然后就不再试着跟他们交朋友了，因为他们老是那样对待我。我讨厌当他们让我滚的时候。我不知道我为什么那么脏还有那么丑。我真希望我是一个很干净的人，这样我班同学就会对我很好。但是，时间过去了以后我也不怎么在乎了因为他们就是特坏！就连我去则所的时候，那些女生都欺负我。她们推我因为她们不想让我在那儿。有一次一个女孩替我跟她们说了话而且她不在我班，后来我们就成为了很友好的朋友。她的名字是曹溪娟，那时侯在学校她是我唯一的朋友！那时候所有人都看不起我，我没有想过有人羡慕我而且我也不觉得以后会有人羡慕我，因为我很脏很臭而且又是个残疾人。我不喜欢别人把我当成残疾人而且我也从没有想过我自己是个残疾人。

我在我的同学下面一个非常糟糕的经历，但我的老师们都很喜欢我，尤其是我的体育赵老师。但我不怎么喜欢他因为他老抱我，尤其是男的。我不喜欢我不怎么知道的人给我拥抱。不过我现在习惯了因为在家里我们老是给别人拥抱。赵老师对我很好但有时候也有一点偏心。再体育课别的同学做的事我不用做。后来我问了问我能不能跟他们一起做。如果别人能做的事我就想做，这是我的个性。我的班主任将老师也挺喜欢我的。她挺关心我的。我挺喜欢她的。

一年级的生活一般都是很难过因为好多同学都欺负我。我不懂为什么他们只欺负我因为我并不是唯一的孤儿。（妈妈的话：其他福利院的孩子也跟她上学，有的是同一个年级，有的是不同的年级）

I went to first grade again in 2008 at Qinghe #1 (a public primary school outside of the orphanage). I was pretty excited when I started to go to school. I was a good student. I raise my hand a lot in the class. The first test we had the first semester I got highest grade in the class for English, math, and language arts. Although there was one student who disagreed with me. I got 100 for English and math, 99 for language arts. Han Boxuan(classmate) said he got 100 for language arts, but I don't really know exactly who had the highest grade for Language Arts. When I got a high score for the test, most kids look up to me. I was very happy. All the teachers liked me very much.

As the months went by my classmates started to treat me unfairly. I don't know how it started. All my classmates don't want be friends with me and think I'm a dirty and smelly person. I was very sad because nobody would play with me. I wish I can be friends with them, so I tried and tried and tried, but they just wanted me to go away because I'm "so dirty." The girls more so than boys. The girls act like they are princess and I'm a ugly person, so they don't want to touch me - even my stuff! Finally I got tired of being ignored and stopped trying to be their friend, I hated when they wanted me to go away. I don't know why I'm so dirty and smelly. I wish I can be a clean person so my classmate would be nice to me. However, I don't care very much after awhile because they are just so mean! The girls even bullied me in the bathroom, They pushed me because they wanted me to go away. One time one girl spoke up (for me) and she wasn't in my class, later we became very good friends. Her name is Cao Xijuan, at that time she was the only friend I had at school! At that time everybody looked down at me, I didn't think anybody looked up at me and I didn't think anybody will every look up at me because I have disability and dirty and smelly. I don't like people to  treat me like a people with disability and I never really think of myself as a person with disability,

I have a very bad experience from my classmates, but my teachers all like me just fine, especially my first grade teacher, Mr. Zhao. However, I am not very comfortable around him because he hug me a lot and I don't like when people hug me, especially male. I don't like when people hug me when I don't really know them. Although now I'm use to it since my family doing hug a lot. Mr.Zhao is very nice to me but sometimes a little bit bias, I don't have to do all the things that other students have to do in PE class. Later I ask to do the same things as the other students. I want to do the things that other people can do, that's part of my personality. My homeroom teacher Ms. Jiang liked me too. She cared about me a lot. I like her.

In first grade I was mostly sad because many students bullied me. I don't understand why they just bullied me because I'm not the only one who was an orphan. (Note from Mom: There were other students from the orphanage attending this school, in this grade and others.)