We have been receiving punishments as a group many times in the orphanage, and often we don’t know what we did wrong. Often times the whole group would get punished because a few kids messed up.
One time four or five nannies took 20 of us to a big inside area to play after supper. After a short while, I saw two of the oldest boys get into a fight and two nannies were trying to stop them. I don’t know how long it had been going on, but after watching a minute, one of the nannies ran out of patience and ordered all of us to stop playing and go to the TV room to watch TV because of the fight between the two boys.
One night a group of kids, who were aged 8-13, were supposed to take medicines in a powdered form. They were told to go to another room and get water from a dispenser to dilute their medicines. A boy, who often got in trouble, put his medicine into the water dispenser and a couple of kids copied him. A nanny figured out what was going on ordered all of the kids in that group to go to bed right away, which was 30-60 minutes earlier than our usual bedtimes.
During a winter evening, some kids were playing outside while I was told to stay inside and watch because of my disability. Though I disagreed, I still obeyed them. An hour later, a small group of kids, who were far from where other kids were playing, were goofing off. A nanny went out and checked what was going on. The next thing I knew we were being sent back inside because she had fallen and being told to stand for a few minutes. While we were standing, another nanny blamed all 20-30 of us for the fall and told us we had ruined the wonderful treatments that the injured nanny had given us. For the rest of evening, the nannies told us to be silent and we were sent to bed not long after that.
We often were forced to watching TV and sit there and be quiet for long periods of time during the first three years of my life in the orphanage. Sometimes we couldn’t stay silent and would start talking. One morning we were talking for about an hour and it was time for the nannies to go off work and another crew of nannies to come in. They talked about our misbehavior, and then a nanny turns off the TV and pulls a chair in front of us and criticized, "I often give fair treatments, but you have taken advantage of me and bullied me." Then she just sat there and ordered us to be silent while she shed tears. I sat there and was puzzled: why does she need to make such big fuss about it. What wonderful treatment had they given us that we should feel so thankful? What did we do that deserved an hour of silence or ruin the wonderful treatment? Are we that horrible? Or are they just trying to make themselves look good?
You will think this way of educated kids would be the same on the positive behavior. It was similar, except it was much more rare. Often, the rewards for positive behavior only went to individuals. They would go off somewhere and play with no nannies around while others had to do the same boring things. Still, as a whole, we often got the message that we weren’t good kids, and sometimes they held up one or two kids as an example of a good kid in their eyes. These were the kids who very rarely rebelled against them. I can hardly remember a time when the nannies praised us as a group and said that we were wonderful kids.
I wonder if the nannies had any idea of what they had signed up for. I think they thought that watching kids would be a very easy job. I don't think they were prepared with a lot of patience. A lot of nannies either were texting or talking to other nannies when they supposed to be paying attention to us. Sometimes they had a bit more patience, but it only lasted about an hour. It's a shame that while all these problems were going on, a sign in front of our orphanage says, "Everything is for the children. The children come first."
Showing posts with label treatment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label treatment. Show all posts
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Does She Really My Friend?
她真的是我的朋友吗？
我有一个朋友在我中国的班里。她名字叫刘雨晴。我在清河一小的最后一天和周四－快乐的一天提到过她。但是，我并没有让你们去了解她。
她可能是唯一的女孩对我像个朋友。她可是我班里女生最好的朋友。那些男生似乎比那些女生对我要好一点。但是，我不会把刘雨晴说成我最好的朋友。甚至我都不决定她是不是我的朋友。
她跟我中国的其他同学一样，他们都在开始之前对我很不好。有的学生比其他的学生要对我好的早一些。就像我说的，男生比那些女生对我好的要早一些。有的男生可能是我的朋友。有时候我喜欢跟他们玩。
刘雨晴在三年级的时候开始对我好了。有时候她替我说话。我很感激。我帮助了她数学作业。我们俩关系到挺好的。
在三年级之前，每次当我们去上面让老师判作业的时候，她会站在那儿而且跟她朋友说话。当我来的时候，她说：“离我八米远”我很不高兴。但是，当她开始对我好的时候，我就原谅她了。当别人突然对我好的时候，我一般都是原谅他们。我一般不会问为什么他们突然对我好。我觉得我应该感激一下。
当我来到美国的时候，我被允许给中国打电话。所以我就给刘雨晴打电话。她对这一点点凶。她命令我需要先给她打电话而且她的电话时间必须是最长的。我对这个没有问题，但我告诉她她不应该对我这样，因为我觉得我不应该让他命令我来对来去的。但是，她说她是将而且我必须要听她的因为她比我要“强”。（她给我解释了一下通过她说如果我被坏人抓住了，她会在我死之前救我的。如果他被坏人抓到了，我不能就她。）然后她命令我她是我最好的朋友，我立马就反对她。她不能对我这样。她老是用那种“我比你好”的态度对我。我不喜欢。
有时候如果我在说关于我其他的朋友，她很吃醋。她不想让我说这个。当我就想：你不能控制我想什么，行吗？还是，有时候当我给她打电话的时候，她会看电视。我觉得这是很侮辱的！我告诉她如果她再这样，那我就挂了。但是，她好像从来都没听我的。
有一次我在学校考了一个很不好的成绩然后告诉她了。她的答案就是如果是她的话，她会得100的。我知道这不是事实，但我什么也没说。然后另一个时候我在数学课得到了最高的分数。她的回答就是她不相信我能得到最高的分数。她老是把我看得很低。我不喜欢！她应该说一些更好听的话！
那时候我就想：她真的是我朋友吗？我不知道为什么她那样的对待我。或许是因为我对她不好吧。所以我就开始对她更好一点。但是，什么都没改变。
I had a friend in my class in China. Her name is Liu Yuqing. I mentioned her in Last Day In Qinghe#1 and Thursday- Happy Day. However, I didn't mention her enough to let you understand her.
She is probably the only girl who treated me like a friend. She probably was the best friend out of my classmates who are girls. The boys seemed to treat me nicer than the girls in my class. However, I would not consider Liu Yuqing my best friend. In fact, I not sure if she was my friend.
She was like my other classmates in China, who treated me poorly at the beginning. Some of the students started treating me nice earlier than others. Like I said, the boys treated me nice earlier than the girls. Some of the boys probably were my friends. I liked to play with them sometimes.
Liu Yuqing started treating me nice in third grade. Sometimes she spoke up for me too. I really appreciated it. I helped her with math homework. We got along pretty good.
Before third grade, every time when we went up to let the teacher grade our work, she usually stood and talked with her friend. When I came up, she said, "eight meters away from me." I was really unhappy. However, when she started being nice to me, I forgave her. Usually when people suddenly treat me nice, I just forgive them. I usually don't asked why they suddenly treat me nice. I think I should be thankful for it.
When I came to America, I was allowed to make phone calls to China. So I call Liu Yuqing. She was a little bit bossy. She demanded that I need to talk to her first and talk to her the longest. I was okay with it, but then I told her that she shouldn't treat me like that, because I thought that I shouldn't let her push me around. However, she said she is the boss and I need to listen to her because she is "stronger" than me. (She explained being stronger by saying that if I got caught by a bad guy, she could rescue me before I'm dead. If she got caught, I couldn't save her.) Then she demanded that she was my best friend. I opposed right away. She can't treat me like that. She always treated me like she was better than me. I don't like that!
Sometimes if I talked about some of my other friends, she was jealous. She didn't want me to talk about it. At that time I thought, you can't control what I'm thinking, ok? Also, sometimes when I called her, she would watch TV. I thought that's totally rude! I told her that if she did that again, then I would hang up. However, she seemed to never listen to me.
One time I got a bad grade in school and I told her. Her answer was that if it was her, then she would have gotten 100. I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't say anything. Then another time I told her that I got the highest grade in math. Her answer was like she didn't believe that I could get the highest grade. She always had low exceptions of me. I didn't like that. She should say something nicer than that!
At that time I was thinking, is she really my friend? I didn't know why she would treat me like that. Maybe because I treated her poorly. So I started treating her nicer. However, nothing changed.
我有一个朋友在我中国的班里。她名字叫刘雨晴。我在清河一小的最后一天和周四－快乐的一天提到过她。但是，我并没有让你们去了解她。
她可能是唯一的女孩对我像个朋友。她可是我班里女生最好的朋友。那些男生似乎比那些女生对我要好一点。但是，我不会把刘雨晴说成我最好的朋友。甚至我都不决定她是不是我的朋友。
她跟我中国的其他同学一样，他们都在开始之前对我很不好。有的学生比其他的学生要对我好的早一些。就像我说的，男生比那些女生对我好的要早一些。有的男生可能是我的朋友。有时候我喜欢跟他们玩。
刘雨晴在三年级的时候开始对我好了。有时候她替我说话。我很感激。我帮助了她数学作业。我们俩关系到挺好的。
在三年级之前，每次当我们去上面让老师判作业的时候，她会站在那儿而且跟她朋友说话。当我来的时候，她说：“离我八米远”我很不高兴。但是，当她开始对我好的时候，我就原谅她了。当别人突然对我好的时候，我一般都是原谅他们。我一般不会问为什么他们突然对我好。我觉得我应该感激一下。
当我来到美国的时候，我被允许给中国打电话。所以我就给刘雨晴打电话。她对这一点点凶。她命令我需要先给她打电话而且她的电话时间必须是最长的。我对这个没有问题，但我告诉她她不应该对我这样，因为我觉得我不应该让他命令我来对来去的。但是，她说她是将而且我必须要听她的因为她比我要“强”。（她给我解释了一下通过她说如果我被坏人抓住了，她会在我死之前救我的。如果他被坏人抓到了，我不能就她。）然后她命令我她是我最好的朋友，我立马就反对她。她不能对我这样。她老是用那种“我比你好”的态度对我。我不喜欢。
有时候如果我在说关于我其他的朋友，她很吃醋。她不想让我说这个。当我就想：你不能控制我想什么，行吗？还是，有时候当我给她打电话的时候，她会看电视。我觉得这是很侮辱的！我告诉她如果她再这样，那我就挂了。但是，她好像从来都没听我的。
有一次我在学校考了一个很不好的成绩然后告诉她了。她的答案就是如果是她的话，她会得100的。我知道这不是事实，但我什么也没说。然后另一个时候我在数学课得到了最高的分数。她的回答就是她不相信我能得到最高的分数。她老是把我看得很低。我不喜欢！她应该说一些更好听的话！
那时候我就想：她真的是我朋友吗？我不知道为什么她那样的对待我。或许是因为我对她不好吧。所以我就开始对她更好一点。但是，什么都没改变。
I had a friend in my class in China. Her name is Liu Yuqing. I mentioned her in Last Day In Qinghe#1 and Thursday- Happy Day. However, I didn't mention her enough to let you understand her.
She is probably the only girl who treated me like a friend. She probably was the best friend out of my classmates who are girls. The boys seemed to treat me nicer than the girls in my class. However, I would not consider Liu Yuqing my best friend. In fact, I not sure if she was my friend.
She was like my other classmates in China, who treated me poorly at the beginning. Some of the students started treating me nice earlier than others. Like I said, the boys treated me nice earlier than the girls. Some of the boys probably were my friends. I liked to play with them sometimes.
Liu Yuqing started treating me nice in third grade. Sometimes she spoke up for me too. I really appreciated it. I helped her with math homework. We got along pretty good.
Before third grade, every time when we went up to let the teacher grade our work, she usually stood and talked with her friend. When I came up, she said, "eight meters away from me." I was really unhappy. However, when she started being nice to me, I forgave her. Usually when people suddenly treat me nice, I just forgive them. I usually don't asked why they suddenly treat me nice. I think I should be thankful for it.
When I came to America, I was allowed to make phone calls to China. So I call Liu Yuqing. She was a little bit bossy. She demanded that I need to talk to her first and talk to her the longest. I was okay with it, but then I told her that she shouldn't treat me like that, because I thought that I shouldn't let her push me around. However, she said she is the boss and I need to listen to her because she is "stronger" than me. (She explained being stronger by saying that if I got caught by a bad guy, she could rescue me before I'm dead. If she got caught, I couldn't save her.) Then she demanded that she was my best friend. I opposed right away. She can't treat me like that. She always treated me like she was better than me. I don't like that!
Sometimes if I talked about some of my other friends, she was jealous. She didn't want me to talk about it. At that time I thought, you can't control what I'm thinking, ok? Also, sometimes when I called her, she would watch TV. I thought that's totally rude! I told her that if she did that again, then I would hang up. However, she seemed to never listen to me.
One time I got a bad grade in school and I told her. Her answer was that if it was her, then she would have gotten 100. I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't say anything. Then another time I told her that I got the highest grade in math. Her answer was like she didn't believe that I could get the highest grade. She always had low exceptions of me. I didn't like that. She should say something nicer than that!
At that time I was thinking, is she really my friend? I didn't know why she would treat me like that. Maybe because I treated her poorly. So I started treating her nicer. However, nothing changed.
Friday, December 26, 2014
America Kids Are So Nice!
美国的孩子可真好呀！
当我第一天去Jones小学的时候，所有的孩子都很欢迎我。我有一个翻译。她的名字是Lisa。
在中间的一天，我们去图书馆选书。我就坐在那儿。然后那些孩子问了一个问题然后Lisa就翻译给我说：”他们想在吃饭的时候跟你一起做，行吗？“我说行。然后下一天或星期的时候，他们开始跟我玩儿。早上的时候他们老师说还然后告诉我他们的名字，不过这花了我很长时间。我感到很受欢迎。
当我上中学的时候，那些孩子也像Jones小学！他们帮助我因为我的语言。他们跟我一起笑。他们在我做了什么东西的时候就会跟我说干得好。
那时候我就想：美国小孩可真好呀！他们不排斥我。他们不觉得我肮脏或是臭。他们不嘲笑我。他们不觉得我丑。他们鼓励我而且让我感到很受欢迎。他们不觉得我是坏人。他们跟我中国特别讨厌我的的同学一点都不一样。
我很高兴那些美国孩子对我那么的好。我在学校非常开心！我没有感觉到我不属于那里。我在那里感觉很好。他们就是让我微笑。
The first day I went to Jones Elementary, all the kids and teachers welcomed me. I had an interpreter with me. Her name is Lisa.
当我第一天去Jones小学的时候，所有的孩子都很欢迎我。我有一个翻译。她的名字是Lisa。
在中间的一天，我们去图书馆选书。我就坐在那儿。然后那些孩子问了一个问题然后Lisa就翻译给我说：”他们想在吃饭的时候跟你一起做，行吗？“我说行。然后下一天或星期的时候，他们开始跟我玩儿。早上的时候他们老师说还然后告诉我他们的名字，不过这花了我很长时间。我感到很受欢迎。
当我上中学的时候，那些孩子也像Jones小学！他们帮助我因为我的语言。他们跟我一起笑。他们在我做了什么东西的时候就会跟我说干得好。
那时候我就想：美国小孩可真好呀！他们不排斥我。他们不觉得我肮脏或是臭。他们不嘲笑我。他们不觉得我丑。他们鼓励我而且让我感到很受欢迎。他们不觉得我是坏人。他们跟我中国特别讨厌我的的同学一点都不一样。
我很高兴那些美国孩子对我那么的好。我在学校非常开心！我没有感觉到我不属于那里。我在那里感觉很好。他们就是让我微笑。
The first day I went to Jones Elementary, all the kids and teachers welcomed me. I had an interpreter with me. Her name is Lisa.
At the middle of the day, we went to the library to choose a book. I just sat there. Then the kids asked and Lisa translated to me, "They want to sit with you at lunch. Is that ok with you?" I said yes. Then next day or week, they started playing with me. At morning they always said hi and told me their name, although it took me a long time to remember it. I felt very welcome.
When I when to the middle school, the kids are also like the Jones Elementary school! They help me a lot because of my language. They laugh with me. They said good job when I did something.
That time I thought: America kids are so nice! They don't discriminate me. They don't think I'm dirty or smelly. They don't laugh at me. They don't think I'm ugly. They encourage me and made me felt welcome. They don't think I'm a terrible person. They are totally different from my Chinese classmates, who hated me a lot.
I am so happy that American kids are so nice to me. I was very happy in school! I didn't feel that I don't belong there. I felt wonderful there! They just make me smile.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
New Students
新学生
当我去四年级的时候，所有的恶霸都渐渐消失了。那里不是有很多的恶霸，但是还有一些。
那儿有一个女孩我不喜欢（我在学校作业里面提到了她）。她老是在我后面说我坏话，那时候我离她也不是特远。有一次我告诉了老师，然后她说她再说其他的东西！当时我就想：“你以为我是笨蛋呀。我耳朵还挺好的。你不用在那儿装了！”我就是不喜欢她。她很吵，老是抱怨。有时候当该她的组干活的时候，她老师大声嚷嚷那些人然后告诉他们应该做什么。所有人都希望她可以闭上她的嘴。她就是特烦！
那还有一个同学也挺烦的。当我上四年级，他和另外一个男孩是新来的。但是另一个男孩很好，但他不是。
每次当我们要排队去体育或是运动的时候，他离我不远而且老是跟我说我的不好。我很不喜欢他。我都快要讨厌死他了，我真希望他可以一天不说话。
当我们运动的时候，他对我说：“不许碰我！”我想：“谁愿意碰你呀”有时候我不小心碰到他了，甚至有时候是他先碰我的，然后他说：“都告诉你了，不许碰我！”我很生气。那时候我的脸都充满了火而且我不能再忍了。
他也对不我公平。有一次在午餐的时候他（轻轻的）打了我而且告诉我我应该说对不起。我说这是意外。然后那儿有另一个女孩也碰到了他然后她跟他说对不起，然后他说没关系。之后我就问他为什么他没有打她。他说因为她说对不起了。我当时特不高兴而且我就是不能说对不起。他不能这样对人！他就是不能对一个人特怀，然后当另一个人来了，他就对她们就像他是一个很好的男孩，但他不是一个好男孩。不管是什么，我是不会说他是好人的。
现在我回想了，我可以就说对不起然后就走了。我可以听他们的话。有时候当我回想的时候我老是觉得我老乡别人的坏。或许有的阿姨是对的，我是有坏脾气的。
When I went to fourth grade, all the bullies faded away. There weren't too many bullies, but still some.
There was a girl that I really didn't like (I mentioned her in school work). She always was saying bad thing about me and I wasn't far away! One time I told the teacher, and she said she was saying other things! At that time I thought: "Do you think I'm stupid. My hearing is good. You don't need to pretend!" I just don't like her. She is noisy, always complaining. Sometimes when it was her group's turn to do chores, she was always yelling at the people and telling them what do to. Everybody wished that she could keep her mouth shut. She was so annoying!
There was a another classmate who were also very annoying. He and another boys was new to the school when I went to fourth grade. However, the other boy was very nice, but not him.
Every time we lined up to go to PE or do some exercise, he stood not too far from me and he would say bad things to me. I very very don't like him. I almost hated him. I wished he could stop talking for a day!
When we were doing exercise, he said to me, "Don't touch me!" I thought: "Who want to touch you anyway." Sometimes I accidentally bumped him and sometimes he bumped me first, and he said, "Told you, don't touch me!" I was so mad. At that time my face was fill up with fire and couldn't take in anymore.
He also treated me unfair. One time at lunch he hit me (gently) and told me that I should say sorry. I said it was accident. Then there was another girl who bumped into him and said sorry, and he said it's OK. Then I ask him why he didn't hit her. He said because she said sorry. I was so unhappy that I just can't say sorry. He can't treat people like that! He just can't treat one person really mean, and when another person come, he treat them like he was a very nice boy, which he was not! I would not say he was nice no matter what!
Now I'm thinking back, I could just say sorry and be done. I could listen to them. Sometimes when I think back I think I am always looking negative about people. Maybe some of the nannies are right, I am a quick temper.
当我去四年级的时候，所有的恶霸都渐渐消失了。那里不是有很多的恶霸，但是还有一些。
那儿有一个女孩我不喜欢（我在学校作业里面提到了她）。她老是在我后面说我坏话，那时候我离她也不是特远。有一次我告诉了老师，然后她说她再说其他的东西！当时我就想：“你以为我是笨蛋呀。我耳朵还挺好的。你不用在那儿装了！”我就是不喜欢她。她很吵，老是抱怨。有时候当该她的组干活的时候，她老师大声嚷嚷那些人然后告诉他们应该做什么。所有人都希望她可以闭上她的嘴。她就是特烦！
那还有一个同学也挺烦的。当我上四年级，他和另外一个男孩是新来的。但是另一个男孩很好，但他不是。
每次当我们要排队去体育或是运动的时候，他离我不远而且老是跟我说我的不好。我很不喜欢他。我都快要讨厌死他了，我真希望他可以一天不说话。
当我们运动的时候，他对我说：“不许碰我！”我想：“谁愿意碰你呀”有时候我不小心碰到他了，甚至有时候是他先碰我的，然后他说：“都告诉你了，不许碰我！”我很生气。那时候我的脸都充满了火而且我不能再忍了。
他也对不我公平。有一次在午餐的时候他（轻轻的）打了我而且告诉我我应该说对不起。我说这是意外。然后那儿有另一个女孩也碰到了他然后她跟他说对不起，然后他说没关系。之后我就问他为什么他没有打她。他说因为她说对不起了。我当时特不高兴而且我就是不能说对不起。他不能这样对人！他就是不能对一个人特怀，然后当另一个人来了，他就对她们就像他是一个很好的男孩，但他不是一个好男孩。不管是什么，我是不会说他是好人的。
现在我回想了，我可以就说对不起然后就走了。我可以听他们的话。有时候当我回想的时候我老是觉得我老乡别人的坏。或许有的阿姨是对的，我是有坏脾气的。
When I went to fourth grade, all the bullies faded away. There weren't too many bullies, but still some.
There was a girl that I really didn't like (I mentioned her in school work). She always was saying bad thing about me and I wasn't far away! One time I told the teacher, and she said she was saying other things! At that time I thought: "Do you think I'm stupid. My hearing is good. You don't need to pretend!" I just don't like her. She is noisy, always complaining. Sometimes when it was her group's turn to do chores, she was always yelling at the people and telling them what do to. Everybody wished that she could keep her mouth shut. She was so annoying!
There was a another classmate who were also very annoying. He and another boys was new to the school when I went to fourth grade. However, the other boy was very nice, but not him.
Every time we lined up to go to PE or do some exercise, he stood not too far from me and he would say bad things to me. I very very don't like him. I almost hated him. I wished he could stop talking for a day!
When we were doing exercise, he said to me, "Don't touch me!" I thought: "Who want to touch you anyway." Sometimes I accidentally bumped him and sometimes he bumped me first, and he said, "Told you, don't touch me!" I was so mad. At that time my face was fill up with fire and couldn't take in anymore.
He also treated me unfair. One time at lunch he hit me (gently) and told me that I should say sorry. I said it was accident. Then there was another girl who bumped into him and said sorry, and he said it's OK. Then I ask him why he didn't hit her. He said because she said sorry. I was so unhappy that I just can't say sorry. He can't treat people like that! He just can't treat one person really mean, and when another person come, he treat them like he was a very nice boy, which he was not! I would not say he was nice no matter what!
Now I'm thinking back, I could just say sorry and be done. I could listen to them. Sometimes when I think back I think I am always looking negative about people. Maybe some of the nannies are right, I am a quick temper.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Let's Talk
让我们来谈谈
在二和三年级的时候，我有一个班主任刘老师，她倒是挺喜欢我的。她知道有些学生经常欺负我。当学生欺负我的时候，我一般都不会告诉老师因为即使如果我告诉了老师，他们也不会停止的。但是，我会告诉阿姨的。有一次我告诉了她们，有一个阿姨带我去告诉刘老师。第二天，刘老师告诉那些学生停止。
但是，学生并没有停止。有一次当我们下课的时候，有一个孩子正要用他的外衣打我，但是我没有让打到我。刘老师看见了而且她很不高兴。下一天在午餐的时候，她跟四个男孩说了话。我听见了他们的谈话。刘老师再问他们我身上那部分可怕。（我的同学老师对待我像一只老虎－他们一看见我就跑。）然后她会问另一个问题关于他们为什么对我不好。那些男孩什么都没说。
等午餐和教室的活弄完了，刘老师说今天她会说关于我的事儿。她告诉那些孩子他们应该对我好一点，然后说我是很有帮助的。（我喜欢帮助别人，所以刘老师让我擦黑板。我不是一个特别高的人，所以我就用一个凳子帮助我。有一次我差点摔倒了，所以她就让我干别的活。）当我说完了，我就流眼泪了。然后她就叫那四个男孩跟我说对不起，然后我说没关系。
当话说完了之后，所有人开始对我好了而且我很高兴。但是这件事没有坚持了很久。
In second and third grade, I had a homeroom teacher Mrs. Liu who liked me fine. She knows that some of the kids are bullying me. When the students bullied me, I usually didn't tell the teacher because even if I told the teacher, they weren't going to stop anyway. However, I would tell the nannies. One times when I told them, one of the nannies bring me to Mrs. Liu and told her. On second day, Mrs. Liu told the students to stop.
However, the students didn't. One time when class finished, one kid was going to use his coat to hit me, but I never let him. Mrs. Liu saw that and she was very unhappy. The next day at lunch, she talked to four of the boys. I heard the conversation. Mrs. Liu asked them which part of my body was scary. (My classmates always treated me like I'm a tiger - running away from me.) Then she asked another question about why they treated me badly. The boys were silent.
After lunch and all the classroom chores were done, Mrs. Liu said that today she was going to talk about me. She told the kids that they should be nice to me, and said I was very helpful. (I like to help people, so Mrs. Liu let me clean the blackboard. I am not a very tall person, so I used a chair to help. One time I almost fell, so she let me do other chores.) When she finished talking, my eyes were filled up. Then she told the four boys to say sorry to me, and I said it's ok.
After the talk, everybody started being nice to me and I was very happy. But this didn't last for very long.
在二和三年级的时候，我有一个班主任刘老师，她倒是挺喜欢我的。她知道有些学生经常欺负我。当学生欺负我的时候，我一般都不会告诉老师因为即使如果我告诉了老师，他们也不会停止的。但是，我会告诉阿姨的。有一次我告诉了她们，有一个阿姨带我去告诉刘老师。第二天，刘老师告诉那些学生停止。
但是，学生并没有停止。有一次当我们下课的时候，有一个孩子正要用他的外衣打我，但是我没有让打到我。刘老师看见了而且她很不高兴。下一天在午餐的时候，她跟四个男孩说了话。我听见了他们的谈话。刘老师再问他们我身上那部分可怕。（我的同学老师对待我像一只老虎－他们一看见我就跑。）然后她会问另一个问题关于他们为什么对我不好。那些男孩什么都没说。
等午餐和教室的活弄完了，刘老师说今天她会说关于我的事儿。她告诉那些孩子他们应该对我好一点，然后说我是很有帮助的。（我喜欢帮助别人，所以刘老师让我擦黑板。我不是一个特别高的人，所以我就用一个凳子帮助我。有一次我差点摔倒了，所以她就让我干别的活。）当我说完了，我就流眼泪了。然后她就叫那四个男孩跟我说对不起，然后我说没关系。
当话说完了之后，所有人开始对我好了而且我很高兴。但是这件事没有坚持了很久。
In second and third grade, I had a homeroom teacher Mrs. Liu who liked me fine. She knows that some of the kids are bullying me. When the students bullied me, I usually didn't tell the teacher because even if I told the teacher, they weren't going to stop anyway. However, I would tell the nannies. One times when I told them, one of the nannies bring me to Mrs. Liu and told her. On second day, Mrs. Liu told the students to stop.
However, the students didn't. One time when class finished, one kid was going to use his coat to hit me, but I never let him. Mrs. Liu saw that and she was very unhappy. The next day at lunch, she talked to four of the boys. I heard the conversation. Mrs. Liu asked them which part of my body was scary. (My classmates always treated me like I'm a tiger - running away from me.) Then she asked another question about why they treated me badly. The boys were silent.
After lunch and all the classroom chores were done, Mrs. Liu said that today she was going to talk about me. She told the kids that they should be nice to me, and said I was very helpful. (I like to help people, so Mrs. Liu let me clean the blackboard. I am not a very tall person, so I used a chair to help. One time I almost fell, so she let me do other chores.) When she finished talking, my eyes were filled up. Then she told the four boys to say sorry to me, and I said it's ok.
After the talk, everybody started being nice to me and I was very happy. But this didn't last for very long.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
How do you deal with life?
你怎么面对生活？
好了，现在每个人都知道我受到很多的气。也许有些人很好奇我是怎么面对（解决）的。那好，我现在就会告诉你。
因为他们对我很不好，可能很多人觉得我不是特高兴。这个是对也是错。当别人欺负我的时候，我会尽量不浪费我的力量去生他们的气。如果他们对我动手的话，有时候我会假装把这个当成游戏，然后用有精神的脸跟他们玩。不过可能有的人会说我是一个坏人，但是这就是我面对的方法。我不喜欢跟别人交敌人，因为我想成为一个快乐的人。
如果别人跟我说坏东西，我会抗议他们。现在我又是一个坏脾气的人。有的孩子这样说过我。他们也不是错的。我应该忍在心里，然后耐心地问他们停止。但是，我实在忍不住的。别人怎么对待我，我就怎么对待别人。
当我上一年级的时候，所有的孩子都对我不好。在中国里，我们有一句话：你敬我一尺，我敬你一寸。想到这儿，我老是认为他们对我不好是因为我对她们还不够好，所以我就继续对她们好。但是时间过去了，我不能再忍了，而且我不会再听他们了。
现在我想想，我应该怎么对待别人？有时候我觉得我应该对他们好一点。我真希望我能得到答案。
Well, everyone now knows that I have been bullied a lot. Maybe some of you are curious about how I dealt with it. Well, I am going to tell you now.
Maybe most of you thought I wasn't a happy a lot because of how they treated me. Well, that's true and false. When people bullied me, I tried not waste all my energy to be mad at them all the time. If people are physically hit me, sometimes I would act like a game and would play the game with my face light up. Although that maybe saying that I am a bad person, but that just how I dealt with it. I don't like to make enemies with people, because I want be a happy person!
Now, if people say mean things to me, I will argue with them. By doing that, now I have a quick temper. Which some of kids say to me. They aren't wrong. I should take it all in and ask them to stop nicely. However, I just can't take anymore. I will treat people however they treat me.
When I was in first grade, all the kids were mean to me. There is a quote in Chinese: You respect me one inch, I respect you ten feet. Thinking about that, I always think they are mean to me because I wasn't nice enough, so I just keep be more nice to them. But over times, I just couldn't take anymore, and I would not listen to them anymore.
Now I am thinking, How I suppose to treat people? Sometimes I think I should treat them even nicer. I wish I can know the answer.
好了，现在每个人都知道我受到很多的气。也许有些人很好奇我是怎么面对（解决）的。那好，我现在就会告诉你。
因为他们对我很不好，可能很多人觉得我不是特高兴。这个是对也是错。当别人欺负我的时候，我会尽量不浪费我的力量去生他们的气。如果他们对我动手的话，有时候我会假装把这个当成游戏，然后用有精神的脸跟他们玩。不过可能有的人会说我是一个坏人，但是这就是我面对的方法。我不喜欢跟别人交敌人，因为我想成为一个快乐的人。
如果别人跟我说坏东西，我会抗议他们。现在我又是一个坏脾气的人。有的孩子这样说过我。他们也不是错的。我应该忍在心里，然后耐心地问他们停止。但是，我实在忍不住的。别人怎么对待我，我就怎么对待别人。
当我上一年级的时候，所有的孩子都对我不好。在中国里，我们有一句话：你敬我一尺，我敬你一寸。想到这儿，我老是认为他们对我不好是因为我对她们还不够好，所以我就继续对她们好。但是时间过去了，我不能再忍了，而且我不会再听他们了。
现在我想想，我应该怎么对待别人？有时候我觉得我应该对他们好一点。我真希望我能得到答案。
Well, everyone now knows that I have been bullied a lot. Maybe some of you are curious about how I dealt with it. Well, I am going to tell you now.
Maybe most of you thought I wasn't a happy a lot because of how they treated me. Well, that's true and false. When people bullied me, I tried not waste all my energy to be mad at them all the time. If people are physically hit me, sometimes I would act like a game and would play the game with my face light up. Although that maybe saying that I am a bad person, but that just how I dealt with it. I don't like to make enemies with people, because I want be a happy person!
Now, if people say mean things to me, I will argue with them. By doing that, now I have a quick temper. Which some of kids say to me. They aren't wrong. I should take it all in and ask them to stop nicely. However, I just can't take anymore. I will treat people however they treat me.
When I was in first grade, all the kids were mean to me. There is a quote in Chinese: You respect me one inch, I respect you ten feet. Thinking about that, I always think they are mean to me because I wasn't nice enough, so I just keep be more nice to them. But over times, I just couldn't take anymore, and I would not listen to them anymore.
Now I am thinking, How I suppose to treat people? Sometimes I think I should treat them even nicer. I wish I can know the answer.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Popular Kid
有名的孩子
在清河一小，对于我的年级来说，我是一个很出名的孩子。几乎所有跟我一样年级的人都知道我。但是，当一个很有名的孩子的感觉不是老是特好。
在学校，大多数的老师都挺喜欢我，只有我二三年级的（张）老师不喜欢我。但是，所有的孩子都讨厌我，很多。或许有些人只讨厌我一点点。
当我去厕所或是在走廊的时候，那些小孩很快就会认出来是我，然后就说我坏话，比如他们说我一班的大傻子，或是“哎，她是孤儿。”或说我的残疾。我知道他们在说我。我很不高兴。为什么她们老得说什么？他们就不能假装我不在，这样大家都高兴？我觉得他们应该闭上他们的嘴，舍得伤了别人的心。
在中国我老在想，是什么使他们那么看不起我？我又不是一个特凶的人。我着他还是惹他们？我真的那么坏吗？我这的有那么多的缺点吗？我真希望我能成为他们的朋友，但有时候我就是觉得他们特邪恶。
有时候我会开玩笑，说我是个那么倒霉的人，因为连新同学都讨厌我。
在我的一生，无论我去哪里，我一直是一个很有名的孩子。有时候你出名时是因为你是多么好的人，说是多么坏的人。我两个都经过过。
In Qinghe #1 I was a very popular kid for my grade. Almost all the kids in my grade know me. However, being popular is not always make you feel good.
在清河一小，对于我的年级来说，我是一个很出名的孩子。几乎所有跟我一样年级的人都知道我。但是，当一个很有名的孩子的感觉不是老是特好。
在学校，大多数的老师都挺喜欢我，只有我二三年级的（张）老师不喜欢我。但是，所有的孩子都讨厌我，很多。或许有些人只讨厌我一点点。
当我去厕所或是在走廊的时候，那些小孩很快就会认出来是我，然后就说我坏话，比如他们说我一班的大傻子，或是“哎，她是孤儿。”或说我的残疾。我知道他们在说我。我很不高兴。为什么她们老得说什么？他们就不能假装我不在，这样大家都高兴？我觉得他们应该闭上他们的嘴，舍得伤了别人的心。
在中国我老在想，是什么使他们那么看不起我？我又不是一个特凶的人。我着他还是惹他们？我真的那么坏吗？我这的有那么多的缺点吗？我真希望我能成为他们的朋友，但有时候我就是觉得他们特邪恶。
有时候我会开玩笑，说我是个那么倒霉的人，因为连新同学都讨厌我。
在我的一生，无论我去哪里，我一直是一个很有名的孩子。有时候你出名时是因为你是多么好的人，说是多么坏的人。我两个都经过过。
In Qinghe #1 I was a very popular kid for my grade. Almost all the kids in my grade know me. However, being popular is not always make you feel good.
In school, most of the teachers like me, only my second and third grade teacher (Mrs. Zhang) don't like me. However, all the kids hate me, a lot. Well, maybe some of them only hate me a little.
When I go to bathroom or in the hallway, the kids would immediately recognize me and said negative things about me, such as that I'm the stupid guy in my class, or "Hey, she is a orphan." Or talking about my disability. I know they are talking about me. I was very unhappy. Why they always have to say something? Can't they just pretend I wan't there, so everybody is happy? I think they should keep their mouth shut, so they won't hurt anybody's feeling.
In China I always wonder, what make them to look so down on me? I wasn't really a mean person. What did I ever do to them? Am I really that horrible? Do I really have that many weakness? I wish I can be friend with them, but sometimes I think they are just evil.
In China I always wonder, what make them to look so down on me? I wasn't really a mean person. What did I ever do to them? Am I really that horrible? Do I really have that many weakness? I wish I can be friend with them, but sometimes I think they are just evil.
Sometimes I will joke about how unlucky a person I am, because even the new kids hate me.
I always was a popular kid all my life, no matter where I go. Sometimes you can be popular for how wonderful you are, or how terrible you are. I been through both of them.
I always was a popular kid all my life, no matter where I go. Sometimes you can be popular for how wonderful you are, or how terrible you are. I been through both of them.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Slow and Useless Person
慢和没用的人
在中国我是称为一个很慢的人，因为我做什么事儿都很慢。每次都是我最后完成作业，穿完衣服，刷完牙和其他的事儿。我不喜欢当最后一个。所有人都生我的气因为很慢。我不知道为什么我很慢。有的孩子特快的孩子。我真希望我能像他们一样快。
我的跑步也很慢。有时候在体育课上我们完接力赛跑。我的队员会问我能不能不跑，这样他们就不是因为我而输掉。我会反对他们，因为我不想只站在哪儿看的他们那么有乐趣。我也想有乐趣。我会做我最好的。正如你所猜的，哪个队有我，那个队就是“倒霉”队。每次我的队都是输了，同学们会说这全都是我的错，如果我没参加的话，他们可能就会赢了。这是事实。但是，我还是反对当他们问我能不跑吗，这是我的性格。如果你觉得我不能做什么东西，然后问我能不能不做，当你让别人做的时候，我会马上说不。我不管别人说什么，如果遇到我能不能做事的问题，他们没有权力控制我。我可以自己决定。
在学校我不是一个很有帮助的人，但我想帮助。老师会向别的学生问帮助，但好像从来都没问我。有时候我会问我能不能帮助，有时候即使他们不叫我去帮助，我还是会帮助的（但也就一次两次）。在学校我们也干了活，老师会决定那个组会做值日。他们让我干活了，但只让我做简单的活，从来就没让我做“难”的活。我真希望他们能让我做“难”的活，但我也不是特不高兴，最起码他们让我干活了。
在清河一小我有三个语文老师，一年级一个，二三年级一个，四年级一个。其中的两个老师说我没用和不值得（不是一年级的老师）。又一次在语文课我在读书，但由于某些原因，我读不了，就像有时又你读不了因为你有坏的一点，或是你的舌头特缠。我四年级的语文老师生气了然后说：“坐下，这没用，连这个都不能读。”先开始我笑了因为其他所有的同学笑了，一般当别人笑的时候，我不能帮助（控制我自己不笑）。但是，后来我很伤心，我差一点哭了因为她说的话。但是她说的是对的。有一次在二年级还是三年级，（我也忘了）我得了一个很不好的成绩。我的语文老师说白吃了。我哭了因为她说的太生硬了，我不能再接受了，但她说对了。
说到没用和慢，大多的问题是在体育。在我班上我就像一个大石头，连累了大家。体育老师又一次试得停止。但我也不是特高兴对他们的反应。
有时候当我上床的时候，我会哭一点点因为我很没有。现在我回想了一下，如果我不在人间的话，我的同学会有少一点问题。其他人也能一样（像我同学）。
In China I'm consider a very slow person, because everything I did are very slow. Every times I always the last one who finish homework, getting dress, brush teeth and other. I don't like when I the last one. Everybody get mad at me because I am so slow. I don't know why I'm so slow. Some of other kids are very fast kids. I wish I could be as fast as them.
My running is very slow too. Sometimes in PE class we will play relay running. My teammate will ask me not to run, so they don't have to loose to other team just because of me. I will oppose with them because I don't want to just stand and watch them having fun. I want to have fun too. I will try my best. As you guess, which team I'm on, which team is the "unlucky" team. Every times my team loose, the students will say it is all my false, if I didn't participate, they could be wining. Which it was true. However, I still say no to them when they ask me to not run, that's parts of my personality. If you say something that you think I could do it while you let other people do it, I will say no immediately. I don't care what people say, they have no control over me when it come to if I can do things or not. I can decide myself.
In school I wasn't very helpful person, but I want to help. The teachers will ask other students to help, but almost never ask me. Sometimes I will ask to help them, and sometimes I will help anyway(but it only once or twice). We also do chores at school, the teachers will decide which group to do the chores. They did let me do chores, but only easy chore, never let me to the "hard" chores. I wish they could let me the "hard" chores, but I wasn't very unhappy since they at least give me some chores to do.
I had three Language Art teachers in Qinghe #1, one for first grade, one for second and third, one for fourth. Two of them say I was useless or not worthy(not the first grade teacher). One times I was reading in Language Art in fourth grade, but for some reason I can't read like sometimes if you can't read because you had a bad day or your tongue get twist it. My fourth grade Chinese teacher got mad and said, "OK, sit down, so useless, can't even read this." At first I laugh because all the other classmate laugh, usually when people laugh, I can't help it. However, then I got very sad that I almost cry it because what the Language Art teacher said. Although what she said it true. One times I got really bad grade in language in second or third, I forget. My language teacher said it was a waste to let me eat food. I cry because what she said was so harsh that I couldn't take it anymore, but she is right.
Talking about Useless and slow, the most problem is in PE. In my class I'm like a big heavy rock that slow everyone. The PE teacher did try to stop one times. Still, I was very unhappy to what the students respond.
Sometimes when I'm in bed I will cry little because I am so useless. Now I'm thinking back, if I wasn't living on the world, my classmate will have less problem. Maybe for other people too.
在中国我是称为一个很慢的人，因为我做什么事儿都很慢。每次都是我最后完成作业，穿完衣服，刷完牙和其他的事儿。我不喜欢当最后一个。所有人都生我的气因为很慢。我不知道为什么我很慢。有的孩子特快的孩子。我真希望我能像他们一样快。
我的跑步也很慢。有时候在体育课上我们完接力赛跑。我的队员会问我能不能不跑，这样他们就不是因为我而输掉。我会反对他们，因为我不想只站在哪儿看的他们那么有乐趣。我也想有乐趣。我会做我最好的。正如你所猜的，哪个队有我，那个队就是“倒霉”队。每次我的队都是输了，同学们会说这全都是我的错，如果我没参加的话，他们可能就会赢了。这是事实。但是，我还是反对当他们问我能不跑吗，这是我的性格。如果你觉得我不能做什么东西，然后问我能不能不做，当你让别人做的时候，我会马上说不。我不管别人说什么，如果遇到我能不能做事的问题，他们没有权力控制我。我可以自己决定。
在学校我不是一个很有帮助的人，但我想帮助。老师会向别的学生问帮助，但好像从来都没问我。有时候我会问我能不能帮助，有时候即使他们不叫我去帮助，我还是会帮助的（但也就一次两次）。在学校我们也干了活，老师会决定那个组会做值日。他们让我干活了，但只让我做简单的活，从来就没让我做“难”的活。我真希望他们能让我做“难”的活，但我也不是特不高兴，最起码他们让我干活了。
在清河一小我有三个语文老师，一年级一个，二三年级一个，四年级一个。其中的两个老师说我没用和不值得（不是一年级的老师）。又一次在语文课我在读书，但由于某些原因，我读不了，就像有时又你读不了因为你有坏的一点，或是你的舌头特缠。我四年级的语文老师生气了然后说：“坐下，这没用，连这个都不能读。”先开始我笑了因为其他所有的同学笑了，一般当别人笑的时候，我不能帮助（控制我自己不笑）。但是，后来我很伤心，我差一点哭了因为她说的话。但是她说的是对的。有一次在二年级还是三年级，（我也忘了）我得了一个很不好的成绩。我的语文老师说白吃了。我哭了因为她说的太生硬了，我不能再接受了，但她说对了。
说到没用和慢，大多的问题是在体育。在我班上我就像一个大石头，连累了大家。体育老师又一次试得停止。但我也不是特高兴对他们的反应。
有时候当我上床的时候，我会哭一点点因为我很没有。现在我回想了一下，如果我不在人间的话，我的同学会有少一点问题。其他人也能一样（像我同学）。
In China I'm consider a very slow person, because everything I did are very slow. Every times I always the last one who finish homework, getting dress, brush teeth and other. I don't like when I the last one. Everybody get mad at me because I am so slow. I don't know why I'm so slow. Some of other kids are very fast kids. I wish I could be as fast as them.
My running is very slow too. Sometimes in PE class we will play relay running. My teammate will ask me not to run, so they don't have to loose to other team just because of me. I will oppose with them because I don't want to just stand and watch them having fun. I want to have fun too. I will try my best. As you guess, which team I'm on, which team is the "unlucky" team. Every times my team loose, the students will say it is all my false, if I didn't participate, they could be wining. Which it was true. However, I still say no to them when they ask me to not run, that's parts of my personality. If you say something that you think I could do it while you let other people do it, I will say no immediately. I don't care what people say, they have no control over me when it come to if I can do things or not. I can decide myself.
In school I wasn't very helpful person, but I want to help. The teachers will ask other students to help, but almost never ask me. Sometimes I will ask to help them, and sometimes I will help anyway(but it only once or twice). We also do chores at school, the teachers will decide which group to do the chores. They did let me do chores, but only easy chore, never let me to the "hard" chores. I wish they could let me the "hard" chores, but I wasn't very unhappy since they at least give me some chores to do.
I had three Language Art teachers in Qinghe #1, one for first grade, one for second and third, one for fourth. Two of them say I was useless or not worthy(not the first grade teacher). One times I was reading in Language Art in fourth grade, but for some reason I can't read like sometimes if you can't read because you had a bad day or your tongue get twist it. My fourth grade Chinese teacher got mad and said, "OK, sit down, so useless, can't even read this." At first I laugh because all the other classmate laugh, usually when people laugh, I can't help it. However, then I got very sad that I almost cry it because what the Language Art teacher said. Although what she said it true. One times I got really bad grade in language in second or third, I forget. My language teacher said it was a waste to let me eat food. I cry because what she said was so harsh that I couldn't take it anymore, but she is right.
Talking about Useless and slow, the most problem is in PE. In my class I'm like a big heavy rock that slow everyone. The PE teacher did try to stop one times. Still, I was very unhappy to what the students respond.
Sometimes when I'm in bed I will cry little because I am so useless. Now I'm thinking back, if I wasn't living on the world, my classmate will have less problem. Maybe for other people too.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Accident Happened, No More Second Chance
意外发生了，没有第二个机会了
当我上二年级的时候，也就是2009。有一件事影响了我的人生。
有一次那些许还在洗澡（在福利院很多女孩会一块儿洗澡）。当我正要拿洗发液的时候，我不小心摔倒了而且我的头撞到了厕所地面很尖的角（厕所的地面比浴室的地面要高一点），然后我的头流血了。我哭了因为那时候很疼！所以阿姨带我去医院，然后他们缝了我的头。
有一个阿姨哭了以为她很担心我，但其他的阿姨生我的气。她们怪我不小心，还说我不听话。
等这件事发生以后，阿姨们从来都不会让我干活。在这件事发生之前，当我想干活的时候，阿姨就让我干活。但是，因为这件事发生了，我再也没有得到第二次机会。我很不高兴。每次我问我能不能干活的时候，他们老说不行因为我会摔倒。有时候我会跟阿姨抗议。但是，阿姨的力量比我大得多了，而且，没有一个孩子同意我。我也没有放弃问他们给我第二次机会。我讨厌当别人小看我。每次阿姨说不行，我会说：“竟会小看人。”，有时候她们会说：“不是，是你太逞强了。”然后我就说如果别人能做的事，我就能做。阿姨老是会说我跟别人我不一样。有一次她们竟然把我弄到每个人的前面然后问我是不是跟别人不一样。然后我听见的只是：“是！”然后他们让我回到我座位。我很不高兴。
有时候我会说我又不是一个废物。她们说：“我没说你没用”很好，如果你不让我做事，这证明你觉得我不能做事，也就是说我是一个废物。但我不是一个废物。
因为这个，阿姨老会说我是一个死脑筋。那时候，我觉得这个意思是我很笨，但现在我懂了。我不觉得我很固执。我觉得她们太自以为是了而且她们不像接受她们有时候她们有时候会有错的事实。
时间过去了，我变聪明了。我会一些事做事当她们没看的时候，这样我就不会被她们说了，而且她们从来就没知道。
我老是想，为什么她们就是不能给我一个机会，然后她们可以从这里学一点东西。
When I was second grade, which was in 2009. Something happened that affected my life.
One time the girls were in the shower (in the orphanage a lot of girls will shower together). When I was about to grab shampoo, I accidentally fall and my head hit in the sharp corner of the bathroom floor (the bathroom floor is a little higher than the shower floor) and my head started bleeding. I cried a little because it hurt! So the nanny took me to the hospital and they sewed my head.
One nanny cried because she was worried about me, but other nannies were mad at me. They blamed me for not being careful and they said I was not well behaved.
After this happened, the nannies would never let me do chores. Before this happened, the nannies would let me do chores whenever I asked. However, because this happened, I never got a second chance. I was very unhappy. Every time I asked to do chores, they always said no because I might fall. Sometimes I would argue with the nannies. However, the nannies were much more powerful than I was, plus, none of the kids would agree with me. Still, I didn't give up asking for a second chance. I hate when people underestimate me. So every time the nannies said no, I would say back, "You just underestimate people!" Sometimes they said, "No, you overexert yourself." Then I would say if other people can do it, then I could too! The nannies would always say I was different than everybody. One time they even took me in front everybody and asked them if I was different from everybody or not. Then all I heard is "YES." Then they let me go back to my seat. I was so unhappy.
Sometimes I would say I am not a useless person. They said, "I didn't say you are useless." Well, if you don't let me do things, that means you think I can't do things, which means I am a useless person. Which I am not!Because of this, the nannies would always say I am very stubborn. At that time, I thought it meant I am stupid, but now I understand. I don't think I am very stubborn. I think they are too sure of themselves and they don't accept that sometimes they might be wrong.
Over time, I got smart. I would do something when they are not looking so I wouldn't get in trouble and they never knew.
当我上二年级的时候，也就是2009。有一件事影响了我的人生。
有一次那些许还在洗澡（在福利院很多女孩会一块儿洗澡）。当我正要拿洗发液的时候，我不小心摔倒了而且我的头撞到了厕所地面很尖的角（厕所的地面比浴室的地面要高一点），然后我的头流血了。我哭了因为那时候很疼！所以阿姨带我去医院，然后他们缝了我的头。
有一个阿姨哭了以为她很担心我，但其他的阿姨生我的气。她们怪我不小心，还说我不听话。
等这件事发生以后，阿姨们从来都不会让我干活。在这件事发生之前，当我想干活的时候，阿姨就让我干活。但是，因为这件事发生了，我再也没有得到第二次机会。我很不高兴。每次我问我能不能干活的时候，他们老说不行因为我会摔倒。有时候我会跟阿姨抗议。但是，阿姨的力量比我大得多了，而且，没有一个孩子同意我。我也没有放弃问他们给我第二次机会。我讨厌当别人小看我。每次阿姨说不行，我会说：“竟会小看人。”，有时候她们会说：“不是，是你太逞强了。”然后我就说如果别人能做的事，我就能做。阿姨老是会说我跟别人我不一样。有一次她们竟然把我弄到每个人的前面然后问我是不是跟别人不一样。然后我听见的只是：“是！”然后他们让我回到我座位。我很不高兴。
有时候我会说我又不是一个废物。她们说：“我没说你没用”很好，如果你不让我做事，这证明你觉得我不能做事，也就是说我是一个废物。但我不是一个废物。
因为这个，阿姨老会说我是一个死脑筋。那时候，我觉得这个意思是我很笨，但现在我懂了。我不觉得我很固执。我觉得她们太自以为是了而且她们不像接受她们有时候她们有时候会有错的事实。
时间过去了，我变聪明了。我会一些事做事当她们没看的时候，这样我就不会被她们说了，而且她们从来就没知道。
我老是想，为什么她们就是不能给我一个机会，然后她们可以从这里学一点东西。
When I was second grade, which was in 2009. Something happened that affected my life.
One time the girls were in the shower (in the orphanage a lot of girls will shower together). When I was about to grab shampoo, I accidentally fall and my head hit in the sharp corner of the bathroom floor (the bathroom floor is a little higher than the shower floor) and my head started bleeding. I cried a little because it hurt! So the nanny took me to the hospital and they sewed my head.
One nanny cried because she was worried about me, but other nannies were mad at me. They blamed me for not being careful and they said I was not well behaved.
After this happened, the nannies would never let me do chores. Before this happened, the nannies would let me do chores whenever I asked. However, because this happened, I never got a second chance. I was very unhappy. Every time I asked to do chores, they always said no because I might fall. Sometimes I would argue with the nannies. However, the nannies were much more powerful than I was, plus, none of the kids would agree with me. Still, I didn't give up asking for a second chance. I hate when people underestimate me. So every time the nannies said no, I would say back, "You just underestimate people!" Sometimes they said, "No, you overexert yourself." Then I would say if other people can do it, then I could too! The nannies would always say I was different than everybody. One time they even took me in front everybody and asked them if I was different from everybody or not. Then all I heard is "YES." Then they let me go back to my seat. I was so unhappy.
Sometimes I would say I am not a useless person. They said, "I didn't say you are useless." Well, if you don't let me do things, that means you think I can't do things, which means I am a useless person. Which I am not!Because of this, the nannies would always say I am very stubborn. At that time, I thought it meant I am stupid, but now I understand. I don't think I am very stubborn. I think they are too sure of themselves and they don't accept that sometimes they might be wrong.
Over time, I got smart. I would do something when they are not looking so I wouldn't get in trouble and they never knew.
I was always wondering, why they can’t just give me a chance and learn from it.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Qinghe #1
清河一小
2008年我在清河一小又重新上一年级（福利院外面的公共学校）。当我上学的时候，我很兴奋。我是一个好学生。在课堂上我积极举手发言。在一年级的期中考试我的数学，语文和英语都是第一名。不过有一个同学不同意。英语和数学我得了100，语文99。韩博轩（同学）说他语文得了100，但我也不怎么确定谁的分数是最高的。当我的分数是全班第一，很多同学都很羡慕我。我很高兴。所有的老师都很喜欢我。
随着时间的推移我的同学就开始不公平的对待我。我也不知道是什么原因。所有同学都不想跟我交朋友而且他们觉得我很脏很臭。我非常伤心因为他们不想跟我玩。我真希望我能跟他们交朋友。所有我就试了再试，但他们就想让我滚开因为我“很脏”。女孩比男孩要更要嫌弃我。那些女生就想是个公主然而我是一个很丑的人，所以她们不向碰我，就连我的东西他们也不想碰。最后我不耐烦了然后就不再试着跟他们交朋友了，因为他们老是那样对待我。我讨厌当他们让我滚的时候。我不知道我为什么那么脏还有那么丑。我真希望我是一个很干净的人，这样我班同学就会对我很好。但是，时间过去了以后我也不怎么在乎了因为他们就是特坏！就连我去则所的时候，那些女生都欺负我。她们推我因为她们不想让我在那儿。有一次一个女孩替我跟她们说了话而且她不在我班，后来我们就成为了很友好的朋友。她的名字是曹溪娟，那时侯在学校她是我唯一的朋友！那时候所有人都看不起我，我没有想过有人羡慕我而且我也不觉得以后会有人羡慕我，因为我很脏很臭而且又是个残疾人。我不喜欢别人把我当成残疾人而且我也从没有想过我自己是个残疾人。
我在我的同学下面一个非常糟糕的经历，但我的老师们都很喜欢我，尤其是我的体育赵老师。但我不怎么喜欢他因为他老抱我，尤其是男的。我不喜欢我不怎么知道的人给我拥抱。不过我现在习惯了因为在家里我们老是给别人拥抱。赵老师对我很好但有时候也有一点偏心。再体育课别的同学做的事我不用做。后来我问了问我能不能跟他们一起做。如果别人能做的事我就想做，这是我的个性。我的班主任将老师也挺喜欢我的。她挺关心我的。我挺喜欢她的。
一年级的生活一般都是很难过因为好多同学都欺负我。我不懂为什么他们只欺负我因为我并不是唯一的孤儿。（妈妈的话：其他福利院的孩子也跟她上学，有的是同一个年级，有的是不同的年级）
I went to first grade again in 2008 at Qinghe #1 (a public primary school outside of the orphanage). I was pretty excited when I started to go to school. I was a good student. I raise my hand a lot in the class. The first test we had the first semester I got highest grade in the class for English, math, and language arts. Although there was one student who disagreed with me. I got 100 for English and math, 99 for language arts. Han Boxuan(classmate) said he got 100 for language arts, but I don't really know exactly who had the highest grade for Language Arts. When I got a high score for the test, most kids look up to me. I was very happy. All the teachers liked me very much.
As the months went by my classmates started to treat me unfairly. I don't know how it started. All my classmates don't want be friends with me and think I'm a dirty and smelly person. I was very sad because nobody would play with me. I wish I can be friends with them, so I tried and tried and tried, but they just wanted me to go away because I'm "so dirty." The girls more so than boys. The girls act like they are princess and I'm a ugly person, so they don't want to touch me - even my stuff! Finally I got tired of being ignored and stopped trying to be their friend, I hated when they wanted me to go away. I don't know why I'm so dirty and smelly. I wish I can be a clean person so my classmate would be nice to me. However, I don't care very much after awhile because they are just so mean! The girls even bullied me in the bathroom, They pushed me because they wanted me to go away. One time one girl spoke up (for me) and she wasn't in my class, later we became very good friends. Her name is Cao Xijuan, at that time she was the only friend I had at school! At that time everybody looked down at me, I didn't think anybody looked up at me and I didn't think anybody will every look up at me because I have disability and dirty and smelly. I don't like people to treat me like a people with disability and I never really think of myself as a person with disability,
I have a very bad experience from my classmates, but my teachers all like me just fine, especially my first grade teacher, Mr. Zhao. However, I am not very comfortable around him because he hug me a lot and I don't like when people hug me, especially male. I don't like when people hug me when I don't really know them. Although now I'm use to it since my family doing hug a lot. Mr.Zhao is very nice to me but sometimes a little bit bias, I don't have to do all the things that other students have to do in PE class. Later I ask to do the same things as the other students. I want to do the things that other people can do, that's part of my personality. My homeroom teacher Ms. Jiang liked me too. She cared about me a lot. I like her.
In first grade I was mostly sad because many students bullied me. I don't understand why they just bullied me because I'm not the only one who was an orphan. (Note from Mom: There were other students from the orphanage attending this school, in this grade and others.)
2008年我在清河一小又重新上一年级（福利院外面的公共学校）。当我上学的时候，我很兴奋。我是一个好学生。在课堂上我积极举手发言。在一年级的期中考试我的数学，语文和英语都是第一名。不过有一个同学不同意。英语和数学我得了100，语文99。韩博轩（同学）说他语文得了100，但我也不怎么确定谁的分数是最高的。当我的分数是全班第一，很多同学都很羡慕我。我很高兴。所有的老师都很喜欢我。
随着时间的推移我的同学就开始不公平的对待我。我也不知道是什么原因。所有同学都不想跟我交朋友而且他们觉得我很脏很臭。我非常伤心因为他们不想跟我玩。我真希望我能跟他们交朋友。所有我就试了再试，但他们就想让我滚开因为我“很脏”。女孩比男孩要更要嫌弃我。那些女生就想是个公主然而我是一个很丑的人，所以她们不向碰我，就连我的东西他们也不想碰。最后我不耐烦了然后就不再试着跟他们交朋友了，因为他们老是那样对待我。我讨厌当他们让我滚的时候。我不知道我为什么那么脏还有那么丑。我真希望我是一个很干净的人，这样我班同学就会对我很好。但是，时间过去了以后我也不怎么在乎了因为他们就是特坏！就连我去则所的时候，那些女生都欺负我。她们推我因为她们不想让我在那儿。有一次一个女孩替我跟她们说了话而且她不在我班，后来我们就成为了很友好的朋友。她的名字是曹溪娟，那时侯在学校她是我唯一的朋友！那时候所有人都看不起我，我没有想过有人羡慕我而且我也不觉得以后会有人羡慕我，因为我很脏很臭而且又是个残疾人。我不喜欢别人把我当成残疾人而且我也从没有想过我自己是个残疾人。
我在我的同学下面一个非常糟糕的经历，但我的老师们都很喜欢我，尤其是我的体育赵老师。但我不怎么喜欢他因为他老抱我，尤其是男的。我不喜欢我不怎么知道的人给我拥抱。不过我现在习惯了因为在家里我们老是给别人拥抱。赵老师对我很好但有时候也有一点偏心。再体育课别的同学做的事我不用做。后来我问了问我能不能跟他们一起做。如果别人能做的事我就想做，这是我的个性。我的班主任将老师也挺喜欢我的。她挺关心我的。我挺喜欢她的。
一年级的生活一般都是很难过因为好多同学都欺负我。我不懂为什么他们只欺负我因为我并不是唯一的孤儿。（妈妈的话：其他福利院的孩子也跟她上学，有的是同一个年级，有的是不同的年级）
I went to first grade again in 2008 at Qinghe #1 (a public primary school outside of the orphanage). I was pretty excited when I started to go to school. I was a good student. I raise my hand a lot in the class. The first test we had the first semester I got highest grade in the class for English, math, and language arts. Although there was one student who disagreed with me. I got 100 for English and math, 99 for language arts. Han Boxuan(classmate) said he got 100 for language arts, but I don't really know exactly who had the highest grade for Language Arts. When I got a high score for the test, most kids look up to me. I was very happy. All the teachers liked me very much.
As the months went by my classmates started to treat me unfairly. I don't know how it started. All my classmates don't want be friends with me and think I'm a dirty and smelly person. I was very sad because nobody would play with me. I wish I can be friends with them, so I tried and tried and tried, but they just wanted me to go away because I'm "so dirty." The girls more so than boys. The girls act like they are princess and I'm a ugly person, so they don't want to touch me - even my stuff! Finally I got tired of being ignored and stopped trying to be their friend, I hated when they wanted me to go away. I don't know why I'm so dirty and smelly. I wish I can be a clean person so my classmate would be nice to me. However, I don't care very much after awhile because they are just so mean! The girls even bullied me in the bathroom, They pushed me because they wanted me to go away. One time one girl spoke up (for me) and she wasn't in my class, later we became very good friends. Her name is Cao Xijuan, at that time she was the only friend I had at school! At that time everybody looked down at me, I didn't think anybody looked up at me and I didn't think anybody will every look up at me because I have disability and dirty and smelly. I don't like people to treat me like a people with disability and I never really think of myself as a person with disability,
I have a very bad experience from my classmates, but my teachers all like me just fine, especially my first grade teacher, Mr. Zhao. However, I am not very comfortable around him because he hug me a lot and I don't like when people hug me, especially male. I don't like when people hug me when I don't really know them. Although now I'm use to it since my family doing hug a lot. Mr.Zhao is very nice to me but sometimes a little bit bias, I don't have to do all the things that other students have to do in PE class. Later I ask to do the same things as the other students. I want to do the things that other people can do, that's part of my personality. My homeroom teacher Ms. Jiang liked me too. She cared about me a lot. I like her.
In first grade I was mostly sad because many students bullied me. I don't understand why they just bullied me because I'm not the only one who was an orphan. (Note from Mom: There were other students from the orphanage attending this school, in this grade and others.)
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