Pressure

压力

在我刚刚来到美国的时候，很多的中国老师和阿姨都为我高兴。有些老师说：“你爸爸妈妈是很爱你的，你也要好好的爱他们。”我知道他们是想让我快快地融入的这个家庭，但是这句话让我很不舒服。这让我觉得我这个人根本就没有心。我美国同学也问过我如果我爱不爱我的家人。当时我是真的不知道。当时我也在想，如果我不是孤儿的话，那我就不会有这些问题了。

在周末晚上我喜欢看中国电视。有一次我看了一个爱情电视剧。那里的四个主角都是孤儿，其中一个是被收养了。她很多次都跟他的父母说：“长大以后我一定会回报你们的。”当时我就想：不知道长大后我会不会回报爸爸妈妈呀。这个女孩的心是多么的好呀，而我的心的多么的硬呀。当孤儿这么就那么难呀？

我现在有两个超喜欢的老师，一个是我中国最喜欢的，一个是美国的。我觉得我好像喜欢的到爱她们的地步了。可是。我却没有这么样的喜欢我的父母。当我看到别人做这个的时候，我就觉得他们不应该做这个。但是，我自己也在做这个。我不知道我应该爱谁，有时候我太喜欢她们了。我就是不知道怎么停止。

我有时候在想：为什么我有这种问题。我住过我寄养家庭八年了，而且我觉得他们是我的亲生父母。为什么我还是有这些问题。为什么我还是跟其他的孤儿一样？为什么？

我觉得我很对不起我现在的爸爸妈妈，他们那么的爱我。我却一点儿感觉都感觉不到。我这人真是不知道怎么感谢。要我说，我当孤儿就是应该的，谁让我这人那么坏呀。

收养是一件好事儿，但是收养是很难的。有的孩子他们立马就爱上了你，有些孩子他们把你当成一个陌生人，然后很长时间以后他们才爱上你的。我是在中间。每个孩子都有不同的反应。无论如何，收养孩子还是一件很好的事儿。

When I came to America, many Chinese teachers and nannies were very happy for me. Some teachers said, "Your mom and dad love you very much. You need to love them also." I knew they wanted me to get use to the family quickly, but this quote made me very uncomfortable. That made me think I don't have a heart. My American classmates also asked me if I loved my family or not. I really didn't know at the time. I also thought, if I wasn't a orphan, then I would not have those problems.

On weekend nights I like to watch Chinese TV shows. One time I watched a romance show. There were four characters who are orphans, only one of them was adopted. Many times she told her parents, "When I grow up, I will pay back you guys." I thought, "I don't know if I'm going to pay back my parents or not when I grew up. The girl's heart was so good, but my heart is so hard. Why is being an orphan so hard?"

Now I have two teachers that I like very much, one is my China favorite, one is American. I think I like them to the point that I love them. However, I don't like my parents that much. When I see other people doing that, I think they shouldn't do that. However, I am doing it myself. I don't know who I should love. Sometimes I like them too much. I just don't know how to stop it.

Sometimes I thought, "Why do I have this problem. I lived in a foster family for eight years, and I thought they were my real parents. Why am I the same as other orphans? Why?"

I think I am letting my parents down. They love me so much. Yet, I don't feel anything. I just don't know how to be thankful. To me, I should become an orphan, because I am such a bad person.

Adopting is a good thing, but adopting is hard. Some kids love you right away, some kids treat you like a stranger, then a very long time after they finally fall in love with you. I am in between. Every kid's reaction is different. No matter what, adopting kids is still a good things.

Why People Doesn't Adopt

为什么别人不收养

在七年级的时候，我问了好多人如果他们从来有没有想过收养的事儿。很多人都说想过。有些人说现在这个不适合他们。我对大多数人的回答很高兴。有些人他们知道一些被收养的人。这让我很惊奇也很高兴。

后来我想了想，有些人说他们想，但是他们好像从来都没有行动。我一直在想为什么。为什么别人不收养孩子？收养孩子跟亲生孩子都差不多呀，为什么收养的行动不是那些大？

有些人说收养对他们现在不适合。我试着懂他们为什么说这个，可我就是不懂。是什么让他们对收养有一点害怕？我就是不知道。我住在一个很富有的城市。我们的邻居都比我们的房子大两倍，这证明他们的钱比我们多一倍。既然我们收养了，为什么他们不收养呀？他们有那么多的钱。我就是不明白。

我不知道我有没有伤了很多人的心。我现在只是说我心里想的事儿。我现在真的真的很想让所有人收养小孩。如果你不能收养小孩的话，你可以帮其他的孩子找家，帮他们捐款什么的。

我现在知道了一件事儿，不是每个人能收养小孩或想收养小孩。虽然我不知道为什么，但是我会尊重你的想法。我倒是想到告诉你一件事儿，如果你觉得收养小孩不是你的事情，你不用收养一个小孩，但是你可以做一些事帮助那些孤儿。告诉被人关于孤儿的事情。我知道另两个被收养的小孩的博客。说不定这可以帮助你看看孤儿的生活。
http://www.flowerthatblooms.com/
http://www.lifeasanadoptedteen.blogspot.com/

你可以看看这两个伟大的人的故事。

In seventh grade, I asked many people if they ever thought about adoption. Many people said yes. Some people said it wasn't the right for them. I was very happy with most people's answer. Some people said they know people who were adopted. That surprisedme very much and made me very happy.

 

Later I thought about it, some people said yes, but they seem to never take action. I always thought why. Why they don't adopt kids? Adopting kids is same as having kids. Why adopt movement is not very big?

 

Some people said adopt isn't right thing for them. I tried to understand why they say that, but I really can't understand. What is it that scares them not to adopt? I just don't know. I live in a rich city. Our neighbor' house is bigger than ours, that means their money is twice as much as ours. If we adopted, whydon’t they adopt? They have so much money, I justdon’t understand.

 

I don't know if I hurt many people's feeling. I am justsaying what I think. Now I really want everyone toadopt kids. If you can't, you can help other kids find afamily, help them by donating or something.

 

Now I know one thing, not everybody can adopt kids or wants to adopt kids. Even though I don'tunderstand it, I will respect your view. I want to tell you something though, if you think adopting kids is not your thing, you don't have to adopt, but you can do some thing to help those orphans. Tell other people about orphans. I know two other people whowere adopted by a family who write about it. Maybe that will help you to see orphan's life.

 

http://www.flowerthatblooms.com/

http://www.lifeasanadoptedteen.blogspot.com/

 

You guys can look those two amazing people's story.

 

My Dream

我的梦想

 

在Michael被收养了不久之后，我对我的未来很有掌握。我的未来是两个东西：教学和收养。我对这两个长有兴趣。

 

等我上完了大学了之后，我想和Amy，说不定Lucy去中国两年在爱百福里当志愿者一年，然后在中国看望一年。在那里，我想我会把我知道的那些孩子介绍给大家，这样你们对收养很有趣的人可以对你们想收养的孩子多多了解一下。等我到30岁的时候，我就对知道我想收养的孩子了。希望那时候我已经结婚了。我想让我将来的孩子有一个妈妈和爸爸。我的孩子会都是收养的，可能只有一个是生的，我觉得我不会生孩子。反正我就想收养孩子。

 

等我从中国回来的时候，我会当一个数学老师。至于叫什么学校，我觉得我好像会教高中。我觉得等我收养我第一个孩子之后，我会像我妈妈一样在家里教我的孩子。因为那时候我的孩子还不知道英语，所以在家里上学也挺好的。

 

我真希望我将来能够帮助很多的孤儿和儿童。我现在越来越觉得那些在中国和其他国家的孤儿是真的真的能需要好的招呼。我希望你也肯加入这个组去帮助和了解那些可爱的小孩。

 

Not long after Michael was adopted, I was very sure of my future. My future is two things: Teaching and adopting. I am very passionate about those two things.

 

When I finish college, I want to go to China with Amy and Lucy for two years to be a volunteer for one year, then visiting China for one year. While there, I think I will share some of the kids that I know to everybody, so that way you will find your child if are interesting of adoption. When I am 30, I will also know about the child I am going to adopt. Hopefully I already married by that time. I want my child to have a mom and a dad. My children will be all adopted, maybe only one will be biological, I think I will not have babies. Anyway, I just want to have adopted children.

 

When I come home from China, I will be a math teacher. As for what school, I think I will teach high school. I think when I adopt my first child; I will be like my mom and homeschool my children. Because at that time my kids will not know English, so homeschool is better for my kids.

 

I really hope in the future I will help a lot of orphans and kids. Now I think more and more that the orphans in China and in other countries really need good care. I hope you can also join this team to and know about these cute kids.

 

 

You Need to End It!

你得要结束这个！

在2014年初的时候，我还是再给刘雨晴打电话。她还是没有变，我试着给她说她应该尊重我一点儿，但是她根本就没有听进去。我也没有说什么。

有一次一个人问我她能不能跟刘雨晴说话。当时我就不明白，因为她那时候的语气不是特别的高兴。之后她就说刘雨晴不应该这样对待我。我跟她说没关系，这已经过去了。但是她说刘雨晴这让对待我就是不对，这根本就有关系。那时候我倒是挺害怕的，因为以前刘雨晴对我也挺好的，所以我觉得我应该保持这个友谊。不过后来刘雨晴还是没有变，所以我就给她写了一封信，跟她说如果她能对我好一点，那我们还是好朋友。如果她不能的话，那我们的友谊就结束了。这封信我已经在差不过一年前邮过去了，但是她从来就没有回信给我。

现在我倒是想了想，当我想起她有时候帮我说话的时候，我觉得我不应该做这件事儿。没有一个人在这世界从没有做过好事或只有做过好事。我觉得那时候我应该原谅她。

说到了原谅，这就提到了我中国的同学。我以前说过了，如果一个人老是对我不好，然后一瞬间那个人就马上对我好了，我当时的感受是很高兴，而且我会马上原谅他们。我不会想为什么他们会一瞬间这样的。有一个人说他们对我好是因为我那时候快要到美国了。可是我觉得那时候他们好像在长大。不过不管为什么，我已经跟他们我原谅他们了。

有人说我应该结束这个感情，可我不觉得，因为我觉得他们在改变。每个人都不是完美的，当他们犯错的时候，你得需要原谅他们，因为每次我们犯错的时候，上帝会原谅我们的。

In the beginning, I still made phone calls to Linda. She still hasn't changed. I tried to tell her that she should respect me a little bit, but she didn't listen to it at all. I didn't say anything either.

One time there was one person asked if she can talk to Linda. I didn't get it, because her tone wasn't very happy. Then she said that Linda shouldn't treat me like that. I said to her that it's okay, that was in the past. However, she said that the way Linda treated me just wasn't right, that wasn't okay. I was pretty scared, because before Linda treated me pretty good, so I thought I should keep that friendship. However, Linda still didn't change, so I wrote a letter to her, told her that if she could be nicer to me, then we can still be friends. If she couldn't, then our friendship would end it. I mailed this letter almost a year ago, but she never mail back to me.

Now I think back, when I think that sometimes she helped me speak up, I think I shouldn't have done that. No one in this world never done good things or only done good things. I think at that time I should forgive her.

Talking about forgiving, that brings up my classmate in China. I said that before, if one person always treat me badly, then suddenly treat me nicely, my feeling at the time is very happy, and I will forgive them. I will not think why they suddenly done that. One person said they treat me good at that time I was going to America. However, I thought at that time they were growing more mature. However, no matter why, I already forgive them.

Some people said I should end this relationship, but I don't think, because I think they will still change. Everybody isn't perfect, when they make wrong turn, you need to forgive them, because everytime when we make wrong turn, God will forgive us.

Who Should Be the Fourth?

谁应该是第四个？

等Michael被收养了之后，我们一直在讨论谁应该是第四个孩子，或第七个孩子（我有五个兄弟姐妹，但只有两个跟我一块住）。Tracy已经有家了，所以我们得选个另一个小孩。我们对另一个爱百福的小男孩叫Eric有了兴趣。他们跟我们说Eric很聪明，一个星期就学会了中文盲文，而且对着世界也很好奇。我很喜欢她而且很想收养他。

去年夏天妈妈去了中国帮助爱百福的小孩。她发现Eric并不是我们想象的那种Eric。事实的Eric和我们想象的Eric完全相反。从那时候我学了一个新东西：如果你收养一个中国小孩，然后他们给你一张关于那个小孩的报告，有时候他们纸上说跟事实一点都不一样。这让我很生气，我那时候真不明白中国人为什么要骗美国人，这伤害的并不是那些大人，而是那些无辜的孤儿。爸爸跟我说是因为这样他们就可以更快地帮助那些小孩找到家。那时候我想那些倒是挺好的呀。可是爸爸说不是。比如有一个孩子他经常生病，需要经常看医生。如果他们说那个小孩很健康的话，然后收养的那个小孩的家庭认为他是一个很健康的小孩。但等他们见到了那个小孩然后知道他有很多的健康问题，他们决定他们不能收养他因为他们住的地方没有什么好的医生。我觉得他们应该更要诚实一些。我倒是有一个好方法，在你们收养一个孩子之前你们可以去看看他们，但是不要告诉你是他们的父母，因为这让那些小孩很糊涂。在你看看他们的时候，你就可以了解了解他们。这样你就不会有那么多的误会了！ 

所以我们不能收养Eric因为他不适合我们这家庭。在妈妈在爱百福的时候，她喜欢上了另一个小孩名字叫福甜。她是一个很老实，很安静的小孩。爸爸和妈妈很喜欢她。那时候我不怎么对她有兴趣因为我还是很想收养Eric。但我也什么都没说。我还是很高兴因为我们又要收养小孩了！

After Michael was adopted, we always talked about who should be the fourth child, or the seventh child (I have five siblings, but only two of them are living with me). Tracy already has a family, so we had to choose another child. We were interest in another boy from Bethel who's name is Eric. They told us that Eric is very smart, he learned Chinese braille in one week, and was very curious about the world. I liked him and really wanted to adopt him.

Last summer mom went to China to help the Bethel kids. She found out that Eric isn't the Eric that we thought. The real Eric is totally opposite than we thought. I learned one thing from that event: If you adopt a Chinese child, and they give a report about that child, somtimes what it say on the paper is totally different that the truth. That made me mad, I really didn't understand why Chinese people lie to America people, it doesn't hurt the adult, it hurt those innocent orphans. Dad told me it's because that way they could help the children to get family faster. I thought that was nice. However, dad said no. For example, there is one child is very sick, need to see the doctor very often. If they said that child is very health, then the family who adopt that child think he is a very health child. However, when they met the child they found they that he has many health isssue, they decide they can't adopt him because they place they live doesn't have good doctor. I think they should be more honest. I have a good idea, before you adopting a child you can visit them, but don't tell them that you are they parent, because it will confuse the children. When you visitng them, you can get to know them. That way you will not have many misunderstand.

So we couldn't adopt Eric because he doesn't fit our family. When mom was in Bethel, she like another child name is Futian. She is very well behave, quiet girl. Mom and Dad like her very much. I wasn't very interesting in her because I still want to adopt Eric very much. However, I didn't say anything. I still very happy because we were going adopt another girl again!

You Need to be Thankful!

你得要感恩！

在中国我老是觉得我的人生这在学校里最不好的。没有一个人会比我更苦。我常想：为什么我的生活那么苦呀？为什么他们的生活就那么好呀？我又没有做错了什么事儿。可能是上辈子我做了很多的坏事吧。我也不太清楚。

等我们到美国的时候，有一个人说我应该感恩。在中国很多人跟我说过我的生活那么好，我应该知足点儿，但是我根本就没有听进去。当那个人说那还有很多的孤儿比我的命更苦的时候，我就想：对呀，你说对，我这人就是不知道怎么感恩！我在中国可能有一个挺好的孤儿生活。有些人比我还要苦。很多孤儿在中国都没上学，没有朋友，没有一个人喜欢他们。我在中国有很多人喜欢我，那么多的人对我那么的好。虽然不是每个人都对我好，喜欢我，但大多数的人喜欢我。这比其他的孤儿更好。

我现在觉得我的生活很好。跟其他的孤儿生活比起来我的生活一点儿都不坏。我要感恩。我现在正在每晚都感谢上帝关于那天的事儿。我会要多多的感恩！

In China I always thought I had the worst life in school. No one’s life is worse than mine. I often wonder why my life was that harsh? Why their life is so easy? I did nothing bad. Maybe I did many horrible things in my previous life. I’m not really sure either.

When I came to America, there was one person said I should be thankful. In China many people said my life is good, I should be content, but I didn’t take it in. When that person said there are many other orphans had worse life than me, I thought: Right, You are right, I just don’t know how to be thankful! I probably had a good orphan life in China. Some people have harsher life than my. Many orphans in China don’t go to school, don’t have friends, nobody like them. In China there were many people liked me, so many people were nice to me. Even though not everybody was nice to me, liked me, most people liked me. That is better than other orphans.

Now I think my life in China was very good. Compared to other orphans my life was not bad at all. I need to be thankful. Now every night I say thanks to God about what happen on that day. I will be more thankful!

Miracle

奇迹

等我们收养工作人拒绝了我们收养了Michael，那儿有另一个家庭说想收养他。那时候他们好像只有三个月的时间，最后他们做到了！我们超高兴！这简直是一个奇迹呀！

太棒了！可能上帝知道很多人很想让他有个家，所以就叫一个家庭去举行行动。这真是太不可思议呀！Michael那时候也超高兴要见他的家庭！

在我的生活中，我经过了很多不可思议的奇迹。比如说我还能跟中国人联系，我的数学老师教了两年。在2014年的暑假快到了，我们的司机说我们会换另一辆校车，也可能会有新的司机。我们很喜欢那个司机，他这人特好玩。每次当我们坐校车的时候，我们都会笑个不停。那时候我真希望他不会离开，结果他真的没离开。我今年还有他。我那时候很高兴。

同时我有一点点为苏楠楠伤心。早知道我就坚持收养她，可是她现在没有家庭了。她不会有教育。她不会有人对她说我爱你，告诉她她是多么的漂亮，多么的聪明，多么的棒。我不知道她现在的生活是怎么呀。为什么没有人收养她呀？为什么？

但是，我还是相信我们的生活这是多种多彩的。有那么多的奇迹在我们的周围！这是不是多种多彩呀？

After our social worker said no to us to adopt Michael, there was another family who said they wanted to adopt him. At that time they only had like three months. In the end they made it! We were super happy! That simply was a miracle!

Awesome! Maybe God knew many people wanted him to have a family, so he called a family to take action. That was unbelievable! At that time Michael also was super happy to see his family!

In my life, I have seen many unbelievable miracles. Like I still can get it touch with people in China, and my math teacher taught me for two years. When 2014’s summer vacation came, our bus driver said there was a chance we would have a new bus, maybe also a new bus driver. He is really funny. Every time when we ride the bus, we couldn’t stop laughing. At that time I really hoped he doesn’t leave, and really he didn’t leaved. I still have him this year. I am very happy.

At the same time I also was a little sad for Su Nannan. I should have insisted to adopt her if I know early, but now she doesn’t have family. She won’t have education. She won’t have people say I love you, tell her how beautiful, smart, and awesome she is. I don’t know what her life is like now. Why were there no people to adopt her? Why?

However, I still believe our life is very colorful. There are so many miracles around us. Is that colorful?

Can We Adopt Michael?

我们能不能收养Michael

在2013月1月，我们知道Michael他2014年5月1日就想14岁了。Michael是我们在北京说话的一个盲男孩。他是倒挺好玩的，而且也会好多的乐器。他的梦想是一个音乐家。我们挺喜欢跟他说话。那时候我们很想收养他因为他快到年纪了。妈妈没我有那么的信心因为Amy刚来到家，她怕我们的收养的工作人不会同意因为这太早了。而且我们那时候只有三四个月，我们收养机构没那么快。我那时候觉得只要我们闯一闯，我们会成功的。所以妈妈问了收养的工作人。

一天当我们从学校回来的时候，妈妈告诉我们我们不能收养Michael因为 Amy 得先呆在家里长一些。当时我很生气。难道帮Michael找个家不重要吗？Lucy，Amy和我相处的一点儿问题都没有。我觉得他们应该同意我们收养Michael。

我对这件事也有一点点儿伤心。上次我没能帮助苏楠楠，这次我也不能救Michael。这已经两次了，我真的不想有第三次。

我还想了想：我也有一点点错因为我做的还不够多。我祈祷的不够。那时候我也应该聪明一点，我应该问一些中国人收养Michael，因为国内收养比国际收养更要快。我真不知道为什么没有早点想到这个。每次我都是这样，等那个事情发生了以后我才想到办法了。我的脑子有时候倒挺慢的。

但是，这不是最后的结果，因为后来有个奇迹要发生了。

On January 2013, we knew that Michael is going to turn 14 one May 1st, 2014. Michael is a boy we talked to in Beijing. He was pretty funny, and plays many instruments. His dream was become a musician. We liked to talk to him. We wanted to adopt because he was also age out. Mom didn’t have as much confidence as me because Amy just came to our family. She was scared our social worker wouldn’t said yes because it was too early. Also at that time we only have three - four months, our adoption agency isn’t that fast. I thought if we just try it, we would be successful. So mom asked the social worker.

One day when we came home from school, mom told us that we couldn’t adopt Michael because Amy has to be home longer. At that time I was very unhappy. Was helping Michael to find a family not important? Lucy, Amy and I have no problem to get along. I thought they should say yes to us.

I was a little bit sad about that. Last time I couldn’t help Sun Nannan; this time I could rescue Michael either. That was two times already, I really didn’t want to happen the third time.

I also thought it was a little bit of my fault because I didn’t do enough. I didn’t pray enough. At that time I need be a little bit smarter too, I should ask some Chinese people to adopt Michael, because national is faster than international. I really don’t why I didn’t think that earlier. Every time I would do that, I finally got an idea after the event happen. My brain sometimes is a little slow.

However, this wasn’t the end, because later there was a miracle.

How Teacher Respond to a Bad Grade

老师对一个坏成绩是怎样呼应的

有一次在七年级科学课有一个考试，我得到一个不好的成绩。我的特殊教育老师问我我得了多少然后我给她看了。那时候我对我很不开心。然后我的特殊教育老师说：“这很好呀。”当时我就很惊奇，也不怎么高兴。我心想：这根本就不好，这有不是优。根本就不好。你不应该说好，如果我在中国的话，中国老师会骂我的。你为什么说这是好呀。后来她说这对我一个刚刚学英语的挺好的。我不同意，不好就不好，这根本就没有借口。我不喜欢别人用我刚刚来到美国的事情当借口。

有一次我上三年级的时候，我们考了一个期末考试。有一天中午我们在排队吃饭，我的语文老师冲过来了，生气的看着我，然后推了我说：“你还敢吃饭呢！”那时候我很糊涂。之后她告诉我我得到了一个很不好的成绩因为我有一个很大的阅读题没有做，我真不知道我为什么没有做。我可能忘了吧。我的语文老师很生我的气。第二天她公布了我们的成绩，然后她就又骂我。她说我不应该吃饭。我觉得她说了我是白痴因为我的成绩很不好。她有一句话好像没说，但是我能听懂她的意思。她觉得我浪费了她的工夫，我根本就不值得老师教我。她觉得我浪费了她的时间。然后她继续说，继续说，后来我实在忍不住了，然后我就哭了。我很伤心我得了一个那么不好的成绩，我也不应该得那么不好的成绩。后来那些学生安慰了我，但我还是挺伤心的。

其实，我并不觉得我语文老师做错了什么。我觉得她的行为倒是挺有理由的。当然了，我是不会像她一样的对待别人，也不想让她在这样的对待另一个人。她这样对待我是因为我经常得到很好的成绩，然后我却在一个很大的考试得到了一个坏成绩，她这样对我也是一种惩罚，这样我以后会记得，然后再细心一下。所以每当我得到不好的成绩的话，我对我很不高兴。

当我来到美国的时候，那些老师对我的要求比我想象的要很轻松。当我得到了一个不好的成绩，老师他们不但不骂我，而且还鼓励我。我一直在想：为什么老师她们不生我的气呀？我不是说我想让他们生我的气，但我就是很惊奇因为在中国的话，老师对你就不怎么高兴。

我记得有几次我得到了一个坏成绩。一个是在七年级历史课，历史老师给我看了看我在班里的成绩，这让我感觉好了一点点儿，但我觉得我在班里的成绩也不是很好。还有一个是在七年级数学。考试的时候我就很紧张。有的题我根本就不懂，但我也没问，我觉得我应该问一下。后来当我知道我的成绩不怎么好，我就很不高兴。我那时候很想打我自己，但是我不想让他们看见，所以我就忍住了。到了下课的时候，我最喜欢的老师知道我不高兴，所以就告诉我在班里的分数，我倒觉得挺好的。然后她让我笑了笑。从那以后，我就知道为什么美国老师不会在我得到坏成绩的时候骂我。我非常感谢我的美国老师对我的付出。我以后会试着在我得到不好成绩的时候往正面的方向。

One time in seventh grade science class we had a test and I got a bad grade. My special education teacher asked what I got and I showed her. At that time I was very unhappy. Then my special education teacher said, “That’s good.” I was very surprised, and wasn’t very happy. I thought: That was not good, that wasn’t an A. It’s not good at all. You shouldn’t say it’s good, if I were in China, Chinese teacher would scold me. Why did you say it’s good? Later she said it’s pretty good for an English learner like me. I disagree, not good is not good, there are no excuses. I don’t like when people use that I just came to America as an excuse.

One time when I was in third grade in China, we had a final exam. One day at noon when we were lined up to go to lunch, my Language Arts teacher rushed to the door, looked at me full of anger, then pushed me and said, “ You still dare to eat lunch, Huh!” I was very confused. Then she told me that I got a very bad grade because I missed a big part of the test. I really didn’t know why I missed it. Maybe I forgot. My Language Arts teacher was very angry with me. On the second day she announced our grade, then she started to scold me. She said I shouldn’t eat. I think she said that I’m an idiot because my grade was so bad. There was one thing she seemed like she didn’t say, but I understood her meaning. She thought I wasted her effort, I didn’t deserve a teacher teaching me. She thought I wasted her time. Then she kept saying it and continued saying it, then I just couldn’t hold it anymore, then I cried. I was very sad because I got a very bad grade. I shouldn’t have gotten that bad grade either. Then those students comforted me, but I still was very sad.

Actually, I don’t think my language arts teacher did anything wrong. I think her action was reasonable. Of course, I will not be like her, and I don’t want her to treat other people like that. She treated me like that because I got good grades very often, but then I got a very bad grade. She treated me like that as a punishment to me, so later I will remember, and in the future be more careful. So every time when I got a bad grade, I would be very unhappy with myself.

When I came to America, the teachers’ expectations were lower than I thought. When I got a bad grade, they did not even scold me, but encouraged me. I always thought: Why is the teacher not mad at me? I didn’t say that I wanted them to be mad at me, but I was very surprised because if it is in China, the teacher will not be very happy with you.

I remember a couple of times I got a bad grade. One was in seventh grade Social Studies; the SS teacher let me look at my class grade, which made me feel a little bit better, but I thought that my class grade wasn’t very good. Another was in seventh grade math. I was very nervous when I was testing. Some of the questions I didn’t even understand, but I didn’t ask, I think I should have asked. Later when I knew that my grade wasn’t very good, I was very unhappy. I really wanted to hit myself, but I didn’t want them to see it, so I sucked it up. When the class ended, my favorite teacher knew I wasn’t happy, so she told me the class grade, I thought it was pretty good. Then she made me smile a little bit. From that time, I knew why American teachers didn’t scold me when I got a bad grade. I was thankful for the effort that my American teachers put in. In the future I will try to think a positive thought if I got a bad grade.  

Janna and The Giver

小坚强和善善

在妈妈和我从中国回来的的时候。我听说了一个孤儿的事儿。有些事儿让我生气，有些事让我伤心。

小坚强在中国的生活很不好。她老师老会说她很笨，也她说了很不好的话。他是她最喜欢的老师因为他是唯一肯教她的老师而且她喜欢他教育他学生的方法。我以前听说过她最喜欢的老师，那时候我觉得她最喜欢的老师很好。我真没想到他以前会这样对她。我一点都不喜欢她最喜欢的老师，他怎么那么会演戏。其他的老师比他还坏。他们踢过她。

福利院的阿姨也没有比学校的老师要好。她们根本就不适合当阿姨。她们让所有的东西都让小坚强做，不给她买东西，经常骂她，骗他。我知道你们现在想什么：爱丽丝不是一只想自己做事吗？那些阿姨有什么错？现在我就来告诉你：我的情况跟小坚强的情况不一样。我那个阿姨她有时候让别的小孩帮她干活，所以那时候我就说既然他们让别的小孩该活儿，那我也可以干呀。小坚强的生活也不比接上的小孩要好。除了这个，她还要照顾她福利院里的一个＂姐姐＂。那些阿姨根本就会在乎小坚强。所以对我来说，那些阿姨都应该开除！

小坚强的福利院也有老人。那些老人在小坚强出国之前告诉他一些让她害怕的事儿。这让我很生气，也让小坚强害怕。也让她花了很长时间才融入那个家庭呢。我真不知道为什么那些老人做这些事儿，小坚强又没有着他们惹她们的，他们就不能让她开开心心的去美国呀！真是的！

生气的事儿都说完了，接下来就是伤心的事儿。小坚强老是说关于她姐姐的事儿。他的姐姐是一个很善良的人，我们把她姐姐就叫善善吧。在小坚强出国之前的时候，善善去世了。善善她一生中都在招呼着小坚强。她们俩的姐妹关系好像是世界上最好的姐妹关系。他们俩什么东西都一起做。有一次我们见面说了话，我试着安慰安慰她，但是她说我根本就不懂因为我根本没就没有经过。那时候我很伤心因为我不能安慰她。同时我也觉得我这人什么都不懂。我真不知道我应该怎么安慰她。


现在我想让大家知道一件事儿。我觉得善善可能还会活着的如果她福利院把她招呼的好好的。我的福利院是住在北京，在那里那些领导和主席经常来到我们福利院那儿来看望。但是，善善和小坚强的福利院是住在离北京比较远的地方，所以那些福利院不需要给那些重要的人看他们福利院有多好。那些福利院的阿姨经常找借口不照顾他们。当那些小孩反抗的时候，那些阿姨老师用：＂我是大人，你是小孩。是你在教我还是我教你。我讨厌当她们说这个。人并不是完美的，有时候他们会有错，他们应该谦虚地认错！

现在我想让你想想：他们当孤儿是他们的错吗？我觉得不是。那些在中国无辜的孤儿应该别人那么对待吗？我觉得不是。如果你们跟我的想法一样的话，我想你们会像我一样的很想帮助对吧？那你们有什么办法吗？我有两个办法：一个是把那些孤儿带进一个温暖幸福的的家庭。一个是让中国的政府和其他人注意到那些阿姨的行动，然后让那些阿姨执行她们应该做的事儿。我觉得这两个都是好办法，也都会实现。但是，我觉得第二个办法跟第一个要快和好，因为什么东西都没比一个温暖幸福的家庭要好。况且，第二个办法要是用很长的时间因为要是一种文明活习惯改变是很难的，不管是好的还是坏的。所以在我们等那些阿姨改变之前，我们可以做一些伟大的事情。

现在就让我们手牵手的帮助那些孤儿吧！

When mom and I came back to America from China, I heard an orphan's story. Some of the things I heard made me mad, some made me sad. 

Janna's life in China wasn't very good. Her favorite teacher told her that she was stupid and said many bad words to her. He was her favorite teacher because he was the only teacher that would teach her and she liked the way that he taught the students. I had heard about her favorite teacher and thought he was very good. I couldn't imagine that he would treat her like that, he must have been a very good actor to have fooled everyone! Other teachers were worse than him. They kicked her. 

The orphanage nannies weren't any better than the teachers. They made Janna do everything. I know what you guys are thinking now: Alice wants to do everything by herself, isn't that right? What did the nannies do wrong? Now let me tell you: my situation and Janna's situation are different. My nannies sometimes would let kids help them do chores, so I thought if they let other kids do chores, then I could do them too. Janna's life was no better than the kids who lived on the streets. In addition to that, she had to take care of a "sister" in her orphanage. Those nannies didn't care about Janna at all. So I think those nannies should be fired! 

Janna's orphanage also had old people. Those old people told her some stuff that made her very scared before she came to America. That made me mad, it also made Janna scared. It also took her a long time to trust her family. I really don't know why those people told her those stories. Janna didn't do anything to them, couldn't they just let her happily come to America? 

The previous makes me mad, the following makes me sad. Janna always talked about her sister. Her sister had a very soft and kind heart. Let us call her The Giver. Before Janna came to America, The Giver passed away. The Giver used her whole life to take care of Janna. Their sister relationship probably is the best in the world. They did everything together. One time I met Janna and talked, I tried to comfort her, but she said that I don't understand because I never experience the loss of someone close. At that time I was very sad because I couldn't comfort her. I really didn't know how should I comfort her. 

Now I want to tell you guys something. I think The Giver would have lived if her orphanage had taken care of her well. My orphanage is in Beijing. The president and the important people came to visit my orphanage very often. However, The Giver and Janna's orphanage is very far away from Beijing, so they didn't have to show how good their orphanage was. Those orphanage nannies often found excuses to not to take care of them. When the children protest that the nannies were wrong, the nannies always use "I am adult, are you teaching me or am I teaching you?" I hate when they say that. People are not perfect, sometimes they are wrong, they should just say they are wrong.

Now I want you to think: Is it their fault that they became orphans? I don't think so. Should they be treated that way? I don't think so. If you agree with me, I bet you, like me, want to help the orphan so badly. What idea do you have? I have two ideas: One is to bring those orphans to a blessed happy family; One is to let the China government and other people be aware of of those nannies actions, then enforce them to do the things that they should do. Those two ideas are both good and doable. However, I think the first idea is better and faster than the second idea, because nothing is better than a blessed happy family. In fact, the second idea will take a long time because if you want to change a culture or a habit it is very hard. So while we are waiting for them to change, we can do some mighty things. 

Now let us hold hands to help those orphans! 

Welcome Back

欢迎回来

在2013年12月16日星期一半夜，我们回到家里。爸爸和Lucy在机场上等着我们。等我们回到家的时候，我们的两只狗，Josie和Skyle来到了Amy的前面，Amy和我们的第一次一样也很害怕。我跟Amy介绍了一下的东西。半夜的时候我们就上床睡觉了。

第二天我没有上学因为妈妈想让我休息休息。我也不怎么记得我们那天做了什么。下午我去了功夫，师傅肖恩跟我说了："欢迎回来"然后很多人也说了："哦，你回来了。"

第三天我去了学校，那时候我很高兴去见我的老师和同学。很多的学生说欢迎回来，他们说他们很想我。老师也跟我说欢迎回来。有的老师的反应超大，也超好玩。我美国最喜欢的老师的反应就特好玩，一开始我以为她没发现我呢！然后她就说："Alice，你回来了！"当时我觉得他这人好好玩呀。然后她就问我中国怎么样呀，我有没有忘记英文等等。我的吉他老实地反映跟我最喜欢的老师差不多。我觉得他这人很疯狂。

很多人问了关于Amy的事儿。我说她很好。他们都很高兴。

教堂里的人也跟我说了欢迎回来。我在星期天学校说了说一点关于我在中国的事儿。大家都很高兴我回来了！我也很高兴我回来了。

同时，我还是很想念郑老师。我每天都会梦到她，天天都会想她。有时候是每节课想她！但是，现在我已经适应了。不过，我还是会想她了！

我真没想到我回来的事情会带来那么多的好笑和欢乐。

On Monday, December 16, 2013,  we came home. Dad and Lucy waited for us in the airport. When we came home, our two dogs, Josie and Skylar came to Amy. Amy was scared, just like our first time. I told Amy the bathroom stuff. At midnight we went to bed. 

On the second day I didn't go to school because mom wanted to rest for a day. I don't remember what we did on that day. That afternoon I went to Kung Fu, Shifu (coach) said to me, "Welcome back." Then other people said, "Oh, you are back."

The third day I went to school. I was happy to see my teachers and classmates. Many classmates welcomed me back and said they missed me. The teachers also said welcome back. Some of the teachers' reactions were very big and funny. My favorite American teacher's reaction was super funny. At the beginning I even thought she didn't notice me! Then she said, "Alice, you're back!" At that time I thought she is a super funny person. Then she asked how was China and had I forgotten English, etc. My guitar teacher's reaction was similar to my favorite teacher. I thought she was crazy. 

Many people asked about Amy. I said she was doing very good. They were very happy. 

The church people also said welcome back to me. In Sunday school I told them a little bit about China. Everybody was very happy that I came back! I was very happy I came back too. 

At the same time, I still missed Mrs. Zheng very much. Everyday I would dream about her. Everyday I would think about her. However, now I already got use to it. But, I still think about her!

I couldn't imagine that coming back home from China would bring so much funniness and laughter. 

Day 17- Leaving Beijing China

第十七天－离开中国北京

在2013年12月16日星期一中午，我们离开了中国北京。

早上我们的早饭很晚，之后江阿姨教了我们做饺子。我很喜欢做饺子，那是我第二次做饺子。我第一次做饺子的时候是当我爸爸妈妈刚收养我的时候。我在福利院从来都没有做过饺子。

我很喜欢叔叔给我们做的饭。等我们做完饺子的时候，叔叔让妈妈和我看了看他是怎么做法的，不过现在我已经忘了怎么做了。哎呀！
  
等我们快要走的时候，我们的午餐是饺子。我超喜欢饺子。之后我们去机场那儿。等我们上飞机的时候，我很舍不得，我好想念郑老师呀。我对北京说了："再见了，中国北京，我会想念你的！"

On December 16, 2013, in the afternoon, we left Beijing, China. 

We had a very late breakfast, then Joy taught us how to make dumplings. I liked to make dumplings very much. That was my second time making dumplings. My first time was when my mom and dad just adopted me. I never made dumplings in the orphanage. 

I liked the food that Michael made for us. When we finished making dumplings, Michael let mom and I see how he cooked the food, but now I have already forgotten how to cook. Oops!

When we were about to go, we had a dumpling lunch. I like to eat dumplings very much. Then we went to the airport. When we got on the airplane, I was so not ready to leave. I missed Mrs. Zheng. I said to Beijing, "Goodbye, Beijing, China. I will miss you!"

Day 16- Foster Family and Visiting Bethel

第十六天－寄养家庭和看望爱百福

周日那天我们早上做了车去我们的寄养家庭。我的寄养家庭是住在农村那儿。我们家里的房子也挺大的，比我家的房子要大一些。当我们快到那儿的时候，我看了看那里的田地，就想起了一个我从前学校认识的一个人。我忘了她的名字了，我现在只记得她姓谢。她是学校对我最好的人，也是对我最坏的人。我的小学是孙营一小。

等我们到那儿时候，我看见养父养母，哥哥，一个叔叔，我的妹妹水春证，还有一个另一个小孩。他们都很开心看到我。我的养父养母告诉妈妈我小时候的个性。他们说我很聪明。Amy说我这个人很要强。好像每个人都觉我这个有一种很执着、要强、和固执的个性。但是我就是看不出来。

养母带我去外面看了看。我们去了我的一个朋友，王若晨的家里。养母告诉了我她已经去衬里读书了。那里有好多人都记得我，但很多的人我都忘记了。但是，妈妈说她对我很满意因为我已经六年没来到这儿了。这让我就觉得更舒服一点儿了。

养父养母给我们准备了一个很丰富的午餐。养母就让我吃吃吃，最后我吃得特饱，所以我就叫她停止帮我盛饭。

中午的时候我们就要走了，养母给Amy和我几个礼物。Amy得到了一个很漂亮的项链。我得到了一个菩萨项链，一个Hello Katty，一个手链，和一个很漂亮的头发东西，到了分手的时候，我的养母很舍不得，她哭了。我为她感到一点点伤心。

下一站我们看望了Tracy和其他的爱百福的孩子。她们是住在一个楼房。那里有两个阿姨，其中有一个阿姨很像我以前认识的一个阿姨姓沈。她很喜欢我，我也很喜欢她。那个阿姨让我想起了她。说实话，我很想见沈阿姨呀，不知道她还记不记得我。

那有另一个女孩，后来我知道她叫Hana。她也跟了跟我们说了说话，她用她的葫芦丝给妈妈吹了一首歌。

到了要走的时候，Tracy问了问能不能送我们。她这人的心可真好呀！

到了上车的时候，Amy就问她能不能现在就收养Tracy。妈妈说我得先到美国。然后她继续问我们能不能收养Michael，接着她就问我能不能拿爱百福的所有的孩子都收养。妈妈说我以前问过这个问题，但她没同意。说实话，我真的很想很想收养我的朋友。

那里有几个女生。其中有两个小女孩在读书，一生都不吭。我们给Tracy一个笛子。之后Tracy就开始跟Amy说了说话。我看了看她们的屋子的东西。她们的床是蹦蹦床，他们有好多的乐器，我好羡慕呀！如果我的福利院有那么好就好了。如果我们福利院的每一个孩子能上学，那有多好呀。

这就是在中国的第十六天。  

On Sunday morning we got in the car to visit my foster family. My foster lived in the country side. My foster house is really big too, bigger than my house in America. When we almost there I looked the farmland in there, I started thinking a person from my school. I forgot her name, I just remember that her last name is Xie. She is the nicest person in the school, and the meanest person too. My elementary school in the country side is Sunying #1.

We when got in there, I saw my foster parents, older brother, my younger sister Shui Chunzheng, and another kid. They all were happy to see me. My foster parents told mom about my personality when I was little. They said I am very smart. Amy said that I was eager to excel. It seem like everybody think I have a determine, eager to excel, and stubborn personality. However, I just don't see those in myself. 

My foster mom took me to outside to see. We went to one of my friends Wang Ruochen's home. Foster mom told that she already went to school in the city. There are many people still remember me, but I forgot many of them. However, mom was very impress with me because I haven't been there for six years. That made me feel a little better.
My foster parent gave us a very plentiful lunch. My foster just let me eat eat eat, family I was super full, so I told her to stop gave me food on my plate.

At noon we were going leave, my foster mom gave Amy and I a couple of presents. Amy got a beautiful neckless. I got a Buddhism neckless, one Hello Katty, one bracelet, and a beautiful hair stuff. When it was time to go, my foster mom wasn't ready, she cried. That made me little bit sad. 

next stop we visited Tracy and other Bethel kids. They live in a department. There have two nannies, one of them looks like Nanny Shen that I know. She liked me very much, I like her very much too.  That nanny remind me of Nanny Shen, didn't know if she still remember me. 

There were few girls. Two of the girls were reading book, didn't making any sounds. We gave Tracy a recorder. Then Tracy started talking to Amy. We saw their room and stuff.  They bed is bump-bed, they had a lot of instrument, I was very admire! It would be so wonderful if my orphanage had those good stuff. It would be wonderful if every kids in the orphanage can go to school. 

There had another girl, later I learned her name is Hana. She talked to us a little bit, she play a song to mom with her cucurbit flute.  

When it was time to leave, Tracy asked if she can say goodbye too us. She has a such kind heart!

When we got into the car, Amy asked if she could adopted Tracy right then. Mom said that first we have to get to America. Then she asked if we could adopt Michael, next she asked if she could all the Bethel kids. Mom said that I asked that question before, but she didn't say yes. Tell you the truth, I want to adopt my friends so bad.

That was the sixteenth day in China.