Does She Really My Friend?

她真的是我的朋友吗？

我有一个朋友在我中国的班里。她名字叫刘雨晴。我在清河一小的最后一天和周四－快乐的一天提到过她。但是，我并没有让你们去了解她。

她可能是唯一的女孩对我像个朋友。她可是我班里女生最好的朋友。那些男生似乎比那些女生对我要好一点。但是，我不会把刘雨晴说成我最好的朋友。甚至我都不决定她是不是我的朋友。

她跟我中国的其他同学一样，他们都在开始之前对我很不好。有的学生比其他的学生要对我好的早一些。就像我说的，男生比那些女生对我好的要早一些。有的男生可能是我的朋友。有时候我喜欢跟他们玩。

刘雨晴在三年级的时候开始对我好了。有时候她替我说话。我很感激。我帮助了她数学作业。我们俩关系到挺好的。

在三年级之前，每次当我们去上面让老师判作业的时候，她会站在那儿而且跟她朋友说话。当我来的时候，她说：“离我八米远”我很不高兴。但是，当她开始对我好的时候，我就原谅她了。当别人突然对我好的时候，我一般都是原谅他们。我一般不会问为什么他们突然对我好。我觉得我应该感激一下。

当我来到美国的时候，我被允许给中国打电话。所以我就给刘雨晴打电话。她对这一点点凶。她命令我需要先给她打电话而且她的电话时间必须是最长的。我对这个没有问题，但我告诉她她不应该对我这样，因为我觉得我不应该让他命令我来对来去的。但是，她说她是将而且我必须要听她的因为她比我要“强”。（她给我解释了一下通过她说如果我被坏人抓住了，她会在我死之前救我的。如果他被坏人抓到了，我不能就她。）然后她命令我她是我最好的朋友，我立马就反对她。她不能对我这样。她老是用那种“我比你好”的态度对我。我不喜欢。

有时候如果我在说关于我其他的朋友，她很吃醋。她不想让我说这个。当我就想：你不能控制我想什么，行吗？还是，有时候当我给她打电话的时候，她会看电视。我觉得这是很侮辱的！我告诉她如果她再这样，那我就挂了。但是，她好像从来都没听我的。

有一次我在学校考了一个很不好的成绩然后告诉她了。她的答案就是如果是她的话，她会得100的。我知道这不是事实，但我什么也没说。然后另一个时候我在数学课得到了最高的分数。她的回答就是她不相信我能得到最高的分数。她老是把我看得很低。我不喜欢！她应该说一些更好听的话！

那时候我就想：她真的是我朋友吗？我不知道为什么她那样的对待我。或许是因为我对她不好吧。所以我就开始对她更好一点。但是，什么都没改变。

I had a friend in my class in China. Her name is Liu Yuqing. I mentioned her in Last Day In Qinghe#1 and Thursday- Happy Day. However, I didn't mention her enough to let you understand her.

She is probably the only girl who treated me like a friend. She probably was the best friend out of my classmates who are girls. The boys seemed to treat me nicer than the girls in my class. However, I would not consider Liu Yuqing my best friend. In fact, I not sure if she was my friend.

She was like my other classmates in China, who treated me poorly at the beginning. Some of the students started treating me nice earlier than others. Like I said, the boys treated me nice earlier than the girls. Some of the boys probably were my friends. I liked to play with them sometimes.

Liu Yuqing started treating me nice in third grade. Sometimes she spoke up for me too. I really appreciated it. I helped her with math homework. We got along pretty good.

Before third grade, every time when we went up to let the teacher grade our work, she usually stood and talked with her friend. When I came up, she said, "eight meters away from me." I was really unhappy. However, when she started being nice to me, I forgave her. Usually when people suddenly treat me nice, I just forgive them. I usually don't asked why they suddenly treat me nice. I think I should be thankful for it.

When I came to America, I was allowed to make phone calls to China. So I call Liu Yuqing. She was a little bit bossy. She demanded that I need to talk to her first and talk to her the longest. I was okay with it, but then I told her that she shouldn't treat me like that, because I thought that I shouldn't let her push me around. However, she said she is the boss and I need to listen to her because she is "stronger" than me. (She explained being stronger by saying that if I got caught by a bad guy, she could rescue me before I'm dead. If she got caught, I couldn't save her.) Then she demanded that she was my best friend. I opposed right away. She can't treat me like that. She always treated me like she was better than me. I don't like that!

Sometimes if I talked about some of my other friends, she was jealous. She didn't want me to talk about it. At that time I thought, you can't control what I'm thinking, ok? Also, sometimes when I called her, she would watch TV. I thought that's totally rude! I told her that if she did that again, then I would hang up. However, she seemed to never listen to me.

One time I got a bad grade in school and I told her. Her answer was that if it was her, then she would have gotten 100. I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't say anything. Then another time I told her that I got the highest grade in math. Her answer was like she didn't believe that I could get the highest grade. She always had low exceptions of me. I didn't like that. She should say something nicer than that!

At that time I was thinking, is she really my friend? I didn't know why she would treat me like that. Maybe because I treated her poorly. So I started treating her nicer. However, nothing changed.

Fourth of July accident

七月四的意外

2012年是我第一个的“七月四”而且那是很有趣。我那时候只是看看游行而且那些挺好玩的。那里有好多好玩的东西。有一次我帮助别人给那些小孩糖。然后我看见精英功夫学校来了还有Molly，我的大姐姐，让我跟她走剩下的游行。那时候我决定去走全部的游行。他们同意我了。

然后那天下午我们庆祝我的双胞胎哥哥的生日。然后他们就庆祝我成为了美国公民。我当时感到很惊奇，不过倒是挺有趣的。我挺喜欢的。

在2013年的七月四，我在游行里走了走。Lucy那时候在那儿。我那时候很兴奋因为我要在游行里走了。我的家人再三地叮嘱我如果我累了或是热的话，那就做在精英的面包车。我那时候倒是为了他们的叮嘱感到有一点点烦。我并没有认真在乎他们在说什么。我就是想走全部的游行，而且我做到了。但是，这并不是尾。

我跟精英一块走。如果你忘记了那是什么，那点击这里，或是这里去学习学习一下。那天到挺热的，我很渴，但我没事儿。当我们到了评判员的时候，我们得表演一个东西。那时候我的肚子挺疼的，但也就一点点。我那时候也挺累的，但那时候我想：我们快到了，所以坚持一点吧。Molly问我有没有事。她试着把我弄到面包车。但是，我说我没事儿而且没有做面包车。

当我们到了那个地方，我走不了了然后Molly就背着我。然后我发现我中暑了而且我有例假了。真是的！我真倒霉！我那时候还得去医院（坐救护车！）。但是，那也不是什么大事儿而且我也没事儿。

然后我妈妈说我固执因为坚持不要做面包车。我觉我没有做错什么除了我应该多喝点水而且在我走之前吃一点药如果我需要的话。我不觉得我不做面包车是错的。

下一个七月四我就只是坐在那看看因为那个意外，还有我们要去机场去接妈妈，妈妈那时候要从中国回家了。所以爸爸不想要任何的事故发生。

下个七月四我回去在游行里走。希望我事事如意。

2012 was my first of "Fourth of July" and is very interesting. I was just watch the parade and it was fun to watch. There a lot of things that were really fun. One time I help them to pass candy to the little children. Then I saw the Jing Ying Kung Fu school come and Molly, my big sister, let me walk the rest of the parade. At that time I decided that I want to walk the whole parade. They said yes to it.

Then that afternoon we celebrate my twin brothers' birthday. Then they celebrate that I became America citizen. I was surprise by that, but it was fun. I like it.

In 2013's July fourth, I walked into the parade. Lucy is here at that time. I was so excited for walked the whole parade. My family told me over and over again that if I'm getting tired or hot or can't walked anymore, then ride in the Jing Ying van. I was little bit tired that they said that over and over again. I didn't really care what they said. I just want to walk the whole parade, and I did. However, this is not the end.

I walk the parade with Jing Ying. If you forgot what it's, then click here, or here to learn more about. It was hot that day, I was thirsty, but I was ok. When we came to the judge, we have do a performance. That time my stomach is hurt, but only a little bit. I was a little tired too, but that time I thought: We almost there, so stick it. Molly asked me if I'm ok or not. She trying to got me in the van. However, I said I'm okay and didn't ride on the van.

When we got into the place, I can't walked anymore and Molly carry me. Then I found out that I was dehydrated and my period come. Shoot! I'm so unlucky! I end up riding to the hospital (in an ambulance!). However, it's wasn't a big thing and I'm ok.

Then my mom said me stubborn because I insisted to not ride in the van. I think I did nothing wrong except I should drink more water and make sure I take some medicine before I walked. I don't think not riding in the van is wrong.

Then next Fourth of July I just watch because what happen, plus we were going to airport to get Mom coming home from China. So dad didn't want any accidents.

Next Fourth of July I will walk in the parade. Hopefully everything will go well.  

Lucy Is The One

Lucy就是这个了

还记得以前我问妈妈关于我的朋友，但我失败了。但是，我妈妈看了看其他的孩子。他给我看了她想要的那个小孩的照片。那个孩子的名字是Lucy。那时候他在跟他的寄养家庭住在一起。她跟我有同样的残疾。她的名字是她寄养家庭给的，所以我们不用把我们的精力用到名字上了，耶！

所有然后我们就决定我们要收养Lucy！这就是我们的决定。妈妈对于这个挺兴奋的。我也挺兴奋的，但是没有妈妈那么多。如果那是我朋友的话，那我会跟妈妈一样超兴奋。但是，那个孩子是一个我从来都没有见过的。你怎么能为一个你从来都没有见过的孩子感到兴奋！真奇怪！

所以Lucy是我们的决定而且我对这个没问题。我不知道她，所以我也没有一点想法。但是，我是为了一个姐姐而兴奋。我不会再孤独一个人啦！耶！

Remember before I was asking about my friend, but I fail. Well, my mom look for other children. She show me the picture that she want. That child's name is Lucy. She was living with foster family. She has same disability as me. Her name is given by her foster family, so we didn't have to do any work for chose a name, YEAH!

So then we decided that we were going adopted Lucy! That's our decision. Mom is pretty excited about it. I was excited about it too, but not as mom. If it's my friend, then I would be super excited like mom. However, the child was a child that I never met. How could you be excited and like some one before you even met them! It's so strange!

So Lucy is our decision and I was okay with it. I didn't know her, so I had no idea. However, I was excited for a sister. I don't have to be alone anymore! YEAH!

5th Grade graduation

5年级的毕业典礼

我们五年级的学生有一个毕业典礼（美国小学1～5）。我们练习了好多次不过那时候我不懂那是关于什么。那倒是挺有趣的。那些小孩对我挺好的。大多数的我都不懂。但是，我特喜欢我们唱的歌。那些歌超好听。我有一个5年级学生的照片。我喜欢那个毕业典礼。等毕业典礼弄完了，我给我父母介绍了我的一些朋友。

然后我们有一个游泳聚会。那时候我就想：哇，美国真不错嘛。他们还能在毕业典礼弄完之后又一个游泳聚会。聪明呀！我有很多好玩的时间。我很开心！

We had a graduation for the 5th grade. We practice a lot but I don't know what was that about at that time. It was really fun. The kids were really nice. I didn't understand most of the part. However, I love the song that we sang. It was so pretty. I had a picture of all the 5th grader together. I like the graduation. After the graduation, I introduce some of my friends to my parents.

Then we had a swimming party. That time I thought: Wow, America it's so cool. They can have a swimming party after a graduation. Clever! I had a lot of fun with it. I was so happy!

First Time To Visit My Grandparents

去看完我祖父母的第一次

当我们有春假的时候，我们去南卡罗来纳州去看我爸爸的父母。这是我第一次而且是我们开了很长时间的车。

我们祖父母很慈祥。我挺喜欢他们。我喜欢跟爷爷玩跳棋，不过我老是输。他试着叫我怎么能怎么玩。我以前玩过这样的游戏，而且我不怎么擅长。不过那种游戏到挺有趣的。

我们也看了看爸爸的家庭，我祖阿姨的丈夫喜欢笑。我觉得他倒是挺好玩的。我的叔叔也挺好的。我在他们家里玩了一那蹦床而且特好玩，不过之后我就玩累了。

我们也看了我们的曾阿姨（老阿姨）。我没听懂因为我的语言。他有很多的猫。

我在南卡过得挺好的。我挺喜欢那里的人。我觉得他们很好。

When we have a Spring break, we went to South Carolina to visit my dad's parents. It's was my first time and it's a long drive.

My grandparents are very nice. I like them. I like to play Checkers with my grandpa, although I lost all the time. He tried to teach how to make good movement. I play that kind of game before, and I am not good at making good move. Although it's fun to play with them. 

We visit dad's family too. My grand aunt's husband like to laugh. I think he is funny. My uncle is very nice too. I got to play the trampoline at his house and it's very fun, but then I got tired. 

We also visit my great grand aunt. I didn't understand because of my language. She has a lot of cats.

I had good time on SC. I like the people in there. I think they are very nice. 

America Kids Are So Nice!

美国的孩子可真好呀！

当我第一天去Jones小学的时候，所有的孩子都很欢迎我。我有一个翻译。她的名字是Lisa。

在中间的一天，我们去图书馆选书。我就坐在那儿。然后那些孩子问了一个问题然后Lisa就翻译给我说：”他们想在吃饭的时候跟你一起做，行吗？“我说行。然后下一天或星期的时候，他们开始跟我玩儿。早上的时候他们老师说还然后告诉我他们的名字，不过这花了我很长时间。我感到很受欢迎。

当我上中学的时候，那些孩子也像Jones小学！他们帮助我因为我的语言。他们跟我一起笑。他们在我做了什么东西的时候就会跟我说干得好。

那时候我就想：美国小孩可真好呀！他们不排斥我。他们不觉得我肮脏或是臭。他们不嘲笑我。他们不觉得我丑。他们鼓励我而且让我感到很受欢迎。他们不觉得我是坏人。他们跟我中国特别讨厌我的的同学一点都不一样。

我很高兴那些美国孩子对我那么的好。我在学校非常开心！我没有感觉到我不属于那里。我在那里感觉很好。他们就是让我微笑。

The first day I went to Jones Elementary, all the kids and teachers welcomed me. I had an interpreter with me. Her name is Lisa.

At the middle of the day, we went to the library to choose a book. I just sat there. Then the kids asked and Lisa translated to me, "They want to sit with you at lunch. Is that ok with you?" I said yes. Then next day or week, they started playing with me. At morning they always said hi and told me their name, although it took me a long time to remember it. I felt very welcome. 

When I when to the middle school, the kids are also like the Jones Elementary school! They help me a lot because of my language. They laugh with me. They said good job when I did something. 

That time I thought: America kids are so nice! They don't discriminate me. They don't think I'm dirty or smelly. They don't laugh at me. They don't think I'm ugly. They encourage me and made me felt welcome. They don't think I'm a terrible person. They are totally different from my Chinese classmates, who hated me a lot. 

I am so happy that American kids are so nice to me. I was very happy in school! I didn't feel that I don't belong there. I felt wonderful there! They just make me smile.       

Christmas Day-What does that mean?

圣诞节－这是什么意思？

昨天晚上我去了教堂因为今天是圣诞节！那儿有很多的歌和欢乐。但是，重要的是圣诞节到底是很么意思。

圣诞节基本上就是我们在等世界的完美。我们在等当世界上没有悲哀。我们在等永恒的欢乐。

想到这里，世界上还是有很多的邪恶，很多东西让我感到伤心。这个世界还并没有完善。

今天我读了一些博客关于收养。这个世界上有很多很多的孤儿没有被收到爱。这让我的心很痛。我这希望每个孩子都能得到别人的爱。我真希望被人能做点儿什么东西。我这希望世界上没有坏人。

想到这里，我再看一个中国电视关于一个老师。她说有些孩子坏事因为他们没有得到足够的爱。想到这里，有的孤儿很坏，但是这并不是他们的错，这是因为他们没有感受到爱。如果世界上没有孤儿的话，那世界就会是完美的。这就是我的梦想－世界上不再会有孤儿。

有时候老妈妈告诉我我们会去天堂的而且那里的所有的东西会是完美的。但是，我的问题是我们的心和想法也会是完美的吗？

Last night we went to church because today is Christmas! There were a lot of songs and joyfulness. However, what is really important about this is what does Christmas mean.

Christmas basically means that we are waiting for the perfection of the world. We are waiting for when there is no more sadness. We are waiting for the eternal happiness.    

Thinking about that, the world still has much evil, many things that make me sad. The world still is not perfect yet. 

Today I read some blogs about adoption. The world still has many many orphans who don't have love yet. It just break my heart to think about that. I wish every kid can receive love from people. I wish there are more people can do something about it. I wish there are no more bad people. 

Thinking about that, I am watching a Chinese TV show about a teacher. She said there are kids that are bad because they didn't receive enough love yet. Think about that, some of the orphans are really mean, but that wasn't their fault, that just because they didn't feel the love. If the world don't have orphan, then the world would be perfect. That's my dream-no more orphans in the world. 

Sometime mom told me that we would go to heaven some day and every thing is perfect. However, my question is will our hearts and our thoughts be perfect?

Homeschool Is Boring!

在家里上学真无聊！

当我适应我的家以后，妈妈开始让我在家里上学。一开始在家里上学听起来挺有趣的因为我可以打电话然后我不用那么早。但是，家里只有我一个学生，也就是我，而且是很无聊的！

在家里我一般都是学数学的，那挺简单的，除了英语。那时候我待在美国才三个月。所以英语对我来说是挺难的。不过，如果我看多一点美国电视，那我就可以学快一点儿。

妈妈开始问学校里的人关于把我放在学校。他们先想让我上六年级，不过之后我们改变了主意然后我就上五年级。

我去的学校是Jones小学而且我觉得我很受欢迎。

When I started to settle in with the family, mom started to homeschool me. At first homeschool sounds interesting because I can make phone call and didn't have to get up so early. However, there is only one student at home, that's me, and it's so boring!

At home I mostly learning math, and it was easy, except the english part. That time I only live in America about three month. So english is very hard for me. Well, if I would watch more America TV show, then I could learn it faster.

Mom started to asked the school people about putting me into the school. They first want me put in sixth-grade, but then we change our mind and went to fifth grade.

The school I went to is Jones Elementary school and it I felt totally welcomed.

Jing Ying

精英

一次我父母带我去一个陌生的地方。他们说那是武术的地方。那里的师傅可是一说一点点中文。我可以听得懂他一点点，但当我更能熟悉他以后，那我就能听得懂他的中国多得多了。

在2012年五月，我父母带我去一个太极课。他们的动作是很慢的。有时候我想做快点儿，但师傅想让我做慢点儿。我挺喜欢太极的。如果他们可以做快一点的话，那就会更有趣了。

然后有一天当我们做太极的时候，我看见了一个功夫课。我问了问我父母。他们给我解释的这两个的不同。我问了问去试试然后我很喜欢。然后我就开始移到功夫，然后慢慢地停止做太极了。

功夫课是分成三部分，低级，中级，和高级。当然了，我先做低级的而且那倒是挺简单的。

One time my parents took me to a strange place. They said a martial arts place. The coach in there can speak a little bit Chinese. I can understand him a little bit, but as I know more about him, then I understand his Chinese more.

In May 2012, my parents took me to a Tai chi class. Their movements were so slow. Something I want to go fast, but the couch want me to go slow. I like Tai chi ok. If they can move faster, then it would be more enjoyable.

Then one day I saw a Kung Fu class going on when we were in Tai chi class. I asked my parents. They explained the difference. I asked to try it and I like it very much. Then I move to Kung Fu, and slowly stop doing Tai chi.

Kung Fu classes are divided into three levels, beginning, intermediate, and advance. Of course, I did beginning at first and it was easy.

I Want To Help, But It's Too Late

我想帮助，但是太晚了

在福利院我有一个朋友叫苏楠楠。我和她是非常要好的朋友。我们跟对方分享我们的秘密。她也很信任我。

她比我大两岁。在2012年6月6日，她就成14岁了。在中国如果你是14岁的话，那你就不能收养了。所以在那年的四月我问了妈妈。

在福利院，我的朋友说你不能跟一个小孩他跟你住在一个福利院收养到同一个家，除非他们是双胞胎。那时候我也不懂为什么哪有那个规则。但是，我相信了，但没有相信了很久。

在2012年四月，我在想，或许我可以破坏那个规则。所以我就问妈妈去收养苏楠楠，她两个月之后就到了年龄。妈妈说不行因为这没有时间。我老师说：“不要放弃! 你就不能试试吧？”但是，妈妈说不行。那时候我这的很想让她来到我的家。我甚至想想我们两在一起说话，在学校说话。我不懂为什么妈妈说不。如果我们有希望，那或许奇迹会发生的。但是，苏楠楠她没有被收养因为她到了年龄了。

这都是我的错！如果我提前早问的话，那她就不会没有家了。那她就会有知识了，因为在中国如果你有一个残疾很明显的话，那你不能上学。如果我再使劲推妈妈的话，那或许一个奇迹会发生的而且苏楠楠会很高兴的。如果我没有相信那个规则，那我可以救她的。如果在中国，我在想他们，而不是我的话，那在我跟我父母见面的那天我会问他们的而且那时候是不会太晚了。因为收养至少要花4个月。为什么我没有早点问我的父母？为什么我那么就被说服了？我那时候因为要很固执的！为什么我没有意志？为什么我就是不能当一个胆子很大的人？为什么？

所以有时候即使你从你的心肝上都想帮助，如果时间不对的话。那是不可能完成的。

In the orphanage I had a friend named Su Nannan. She was a very close friend to me. We shared secrets with each other. She also trusted me very much. 

She is just 2 years older than me. On June 6, 2012, she turned 14. In China you can't be adopted when you are 14. So I asked my mom that April.

In the orphanage, my friends said that you can't be in the same family with some one who is from the same orphanage unless they are twins. At that time I really didn't understand why there is that rule. However, I believed it, but not for very long.   

In April, 2012. I was thinking, maybe I can break the rule. So I asked mom to adopte Su Nannan, who was aging out two months after I asked. Mom said no because it wasn't enough time. I kept saying, "Don't give up! Can't you just try it?" However, mom said no. At that time I really wanted her to come into my family. I even imagined us spending time with each other, talking in school together. I didn't understand why mom said no. If we have hope, then maybe some miracle would happen. However, Su Nannan didn't get adopted, she aged out. 

It is all my fault! If I had mentioned her earlier and asked, then she would not have aged out. Then she would have an education, because in China if you having a disability that is significant, then you can't go to school. If I pushed mom harder, then maybe a miracle happen and Su Nannan would be happy. If I didn't believe the rule, then I could rescue her. If in China, I was thinking about them instead thinking about me, then on the day where I met my parents I could asked them and it wouldn't be too late. Because adoption takes at least 4 months. Why I didn't asked my parents earlier? Why I'm so easy to convince? I should be stubborn that time! Why I don't have determination? Why I can't just be a bold person! Why?

So sometimes even you want to help from the bottom of your heart, if the time is not the right time. Then there is no way to complete. 

Bicycle

自行车

在中国我从来都美国学过怎么骑自行车。有几次我看到那些打孩子骑行车然后我就问阿姨。阿姨们说不行因为我不知道怎么骑。那时候我就想：当然了，我会知道怎么骑如果您能教我的话。这又不是不可能的事儿！

当我来到美国，我开始学怎么骑自行车了。这花了我很多时间学的。一开始我很紧张，我的父母走在我的身边。然后我妈妈把脚蹬给拿下来因为这样会更简单一些。我觉得这很简单，但我摔了很多次。郑老师说这件事是会发生的，我只要继续努力就行了。所以我努力了。我觉得我很笨因为我学了自行车学了很长时间。但是，我从没有放弃过。在中国如果我遇到难题的话，我老会说：“哼！我就不信我不能做！”所以我就努力努力再努力。

在一个月底的时候我做到了！我可以骑自行车了！耶！我很高兴！我还是有很长的路要走因为我只能在平的路上骑。但是，我做到了基本的骑行车技术！

In China I never learned how to ride a bicycle. I saw the big boy rode the bicycle couple times and I asked the nannies. The nannies said no because I didn't now how to ride. At that time I thought: Well, I would know how if you could just teach me. It not like an impossible thing to do!

When I came to America, I start learned how to ride a bicycle. It took me a month to learned how to ride. At first I was very nervous, my parent walked beside me. Then my mom took the peddles off because it would be easier. I thought it was very easy, but I fell many times. Mrs. Zheng said it happens, just keep trying. So I did. I thought I was very stupid because it took me a long time to learn how to ride a bicycle. However, I never gave up. In China when I bumped into something that it's very hard, I would always said, "Humm! I can't believe that I can't do it!" So I just keep trying and trying.

At the end of the one month I did! I can ride a bike!!! YEAH!! I was so happy! I still have a long way to go because I only can ride at level floor. However, I made to the first basic level! 

Where Are My Orphanage Friends!

我的福利院的朋友在哪里呀！

在福利院我有很多的朋友。很多的都比我先走的。当她们被收养之后，我们就从来就没有联系过。那些大孩子说每年的时候，从中国被收养的孩子都会聚在一起。妈妈说这事不会发生的因为如果我们在马里兰州聚在一块，那那些在加利福尼亚州的孩子要飞六小时的飞机，就是因为一个聚会。

等我住在了美国几个月之后，我有一点点想念我福利院的朋友。所以我就问妈妈帮我找一些我的朋友，她试了试，但没能找到。我问福利院通过电子邮件，但他们从来就没告诉我。我认为是因为他们得保密。但是，我是她们的朋友！为什么他们就不能告诉她们的朋友呀！

在我住在美国的第一年我去了两个亚洲传统的活动因为我想看看我能不能找到我的朋友。但是，我从来就没找到。

在七年级我问了问一些人如果他们知不知道来中国的人，然后他们说没有。然后我就想：想找找他们很难呢！我以为会很简单呢！不过，事情就是这个事情，我就需要多多努力。

现在我还是不知道他们在哪儿！我的福利院的朋友到底哪儿呀？

In the Orphanage I had a lot of friends. Most of them went to America before me. After they were adopted, we never got touch with each other again. The big kids said that every year America will have a big gathering for the orphans who are from China. Mom said that is not going to happen because if we gather in Maryland, the kids from California have to fly six hours on an airplane to get there just for a party.

After a couple of months of living in America, I kind of missed my friends from my orphanage. So I asked mom to find some of my friends. She tried it, but couldn't find them. I asked the orphanage through email, but they never told me. I think because they have to keep it private. However, I am their friend! Why can't they tell their friend!

During the first year in America I went to two Asian cultural events because I wanted to see if I could find my friends. However, I never did.

In seventh grade I asked a couple of people if they knew anybody from China, and they said no. Then I thought: finding them is so hard! I thought it would be easy! However, it is what is, I just have to keep trying.

Right now I still didn't know where are they! Where are my Orphanage Friends?

America Culture Is Crazy and Strange

美国的传统是疯狂和奇怪

当我试着适应美国的传统，有的东西我觉得很神经。一开始我以为美国人是个疯子。

其中的一个美国传统是当我们见到一个人，好像每次我们都要给他们一个拥抱！我不喜欢给陌生人拥抱！我不管如果他们知不知道我，我就是不喜欢！如果一个陌生人想我给他们一个拥抱，有时候我会接受因为我想有礼貌。但是，在他们身边我是不会觉得很舒服的。这一般都是这样的。小孩给我拥抱我没什么意见，不像大人那样。我也不知道为什么。

另一个美国传统是美国人对拍手很疯狂！当我上六年级的时候，很多人会无缘无故地问我拍手。那时候我就想：为什么我们需要拍手？我并没有做什么伟大的事儿？在中国，他们会在你做一个很伟大的事跟你拍手。我什么都没做。很多人试着让我跟他们拍手。有一次我六年级语文老师说：“没关系，等到年底的时候，她就会给我拍手的。”

另一个美国传统是美国人老是大惊小怪！有时候我就是做了什么或是回答了什么问题他们就会想：哇，她好了不起呀！有时候我觉得挺好玩儿的，有时候我就想我就做了我应该做的事儿。所以你不用那么大惊小怪的。

在七年级底，或在七年级左右，我就已经适应了这三个“疯狂”的传统。这花了我很长时间。不过有时候当我想到我一开始对这三个美国的传统的想法倒是挺好玩的。

When I trying to get use to America and America culture, there are something that it just doesn't make sense to me. At the beginning I thought that America is crazy!

One of the culture is when ever we met a person, it seem like we have to gave them a hug! I don't like gave a hug to a stranger! I don't care if they know me or not, I just don't like it. If a stranger want me to hug them, some time I would accept it for politeness. However, then I would not be very comfortable with that person. That's usually the case. Children hug me didn't bother as much as adult, I don't know why.

Other one is America is crazy about Hi-five! When I was in six grade, many people ask me to Hi-five for no reason. At that time I thought:Why we need to Hi-Five? I didn't do any amazing thing? In China, they would Hi-Five you if you done a amazing thing. I didn't do anything. Many people were trying to let me get use to this. One times my sixth grade Language Art teacher said, "It's ok, she would gave me a Hi-Five at the end of year."

Another one is that America is big deal maker! Sometime if I just done some thing right or answer something they would be like: Wow, She is Amazing! Sometimes I think it's funny, sometimes I think I am just doing what I'm suppose to do. So you don't need to make a big deal about it.

At the end of seventh grade, or around seventh grade, I got use to those three "crazy" culture things. It did took me a long time. Although it's funny to think back about how I think about those three culture things.    

Is There Are Any Cure?

那有治疗的方法吗？

我有一个很浅的脑瘫，这对我来说也不是一个麻烦。但是，我老是想象如果那儿有没有治疗脑瘫的方法。我以前问过我的阿姨，然后她说我的脑瘫可能是时间上最好的。我同意，但是，我想有残疾。因为这样我就可以成为一个正常人。如果我想做什么，我就能做什么。没有人会笑我的因为我会跟别人一样。

有一次我的朋友说没有有治疗脑瘫的方法，但是是很冒险的。如果成功的话，那你就没有脑瘫了。如果没成功，那你就会死。我想了想，如果我冒这个险，而且很成功的话，那我就是一个正正常常的人。这样我就不会奋斗那么多的东西了。另一方面，我对这个没有问题，我的残疾并没有什么障碍的。所以这根本就不值得。

一天我妈妈说潘小卫，一个我福利院的朋友，他有脊柱侧弯，要有一个手术。那时候我就想：如果他们可以治疗他的残疾，那他们就可以治疗其他的残疾。所以我问了妈妈，她说不行因为我的残疾是在脑子里。我点了点头。那时候我并不懂为什么，不过现在我知道脑瘫是一个不会变好也不会变差的残疾病。

说到这儿，我有一点点反抗。我觉得如果我从小就被训练，然后我就可以是一个正常人了。我妈妈不同意我。但是，这挺有道理的，因为你笑的时候学的会更快，对吧？

现在，我回想了一下。或许有的并不是因为我的残疾。或许是因为别的跟我的残疾一点都没有关系的东西。

I have a mild CP(Cerebral Palsy), it doesn't really bother me. However, I always wonder if there are any cure for CP. I asked this to my nanny, and she said that my CP is probably the most mild in the world. I agree, however, I don't want to have disability. Because that way I can be a normal person. I can do anything that I want. Nobody would laugh at me because I would be same as everybody else.

One time my friend said that in America has a cure for CP, but it's very risk. If it went well, then you don't have CP anymore. If it didn't, then you might die. I thought about it, if I take a chance and it well, then I would be perfectly normal. Then I would not struggle with so many things. On the other side, I am ok with it, my disability didn't really get out of my way. So it's not worse for it.

One day my mom said that Jack, which is my friend in the orphanage and had a scoliosis, is going to have surgery. That times I thought: If they can fix his disability, then they can fix other disability. So I asked mom, and she said no because my disability is on the brain. I nodded. At that time I didn't understand why, but now I know that CP is a disability that isn't going to be better or worst.

Talking about that, I little bit disagree. I think if I been train when I was little, then I could be like a normal person. My mom disagree with me. However, it make sense, because you learned fast when you are younger. Right?

Now, I'm thinking back. Maybe some of it isn't because of my disability. Maybe is other thing that has nothing to do with my disability.    

Missing China

想念中国

我第一走在美国的时候，我几乎每天都给中国打电话！我是非常的想念我的老师和阿姨。那是后我真希望我能回到中国，因为这样我就可以每天见到我最喜欢的老师和阿姨！

我有时候也闯了祸，因为我打电话的时间太长了，但是我想跟他们说话。然后我跟妈妈说当我十八岁的时候，我想回中国。妈妈说可能你会改变你的注意的。我那时候不相信她因为我很想念中国。现在我不那么着急回中国了，因为这这里我有我喜欢的和信任的人。

有一次我上六年级的时候，我们有一个整数作业。你得标签正数和负数。那时候是在2013年的，所以负数是代表过去，正数是代表未来。我在我作业写了“想回中国”。我的数学老师倒是很喜欢我。当我给他们看的时候，她跟我开个玩笑：“我希望不会”我问：“为什么？”：因为我们想让你留在这里。“想到这我觉得这倒是挺好笑的。现在我不想两年前那样着急了。

有时候当我们去机场或看到飞机的时候，我都会想到回中国的事儿。

现在我还是想念中国。但是，我在这里挺高兴的。和那些老师，家长还有其他人。我不再那么伤心了。

The first week after coming to America I made phone calls to China everyday! I missed my favorite teacher and nanny very much! At that timed I wish I can go back to China because then I can see my favorite teacher and nanny everyday!

I got in trouble for making phone calls too, but I wanted to talk to them. Then I told mom that when I was eighteen, I want go back to China. Mom said maybe you would change your mind about that. I didn't believe her because at that time I missed China so much. Now I doesn't hurry about go back to China as much because there are some people here I trust and like too.

One time when I in sixth grade, we had an integer project. You have to label negative and positive number. The negative is the years before 2013, positive number is the years after the 2013. I put "want to go back to China" on my project. My math teacher, who seemed to like me very much, when I was in six grade and showed my project, she joked with me, "and I hope not." I asked, "Why?" "Because we want you to stay here." Thinking back it's a little bit funny. Right now I'm not as hurry as two years ago.

Sometime when we go to the airplane or see a airplane, I always think about going back to China.

Right now I am still miss China. However, I am happy in here. With all the teachers and parents and other people, I am not as sad anymore.

Birthday for December

十二月的生日

这个星期有两个生日。一个是在8日的，一个是在10日的。两个人都是关系离我很近的人，

这周一是我美国最喜欢老师的生日。我很兴奋！我给她做一个贺卡和手链。她很高兴，而且我也很高兴看到她的微笑而且我从她那儿得到一个拥抱。她很感激！我很高兴我的礼物能让她感到很高兴！在周二我问她如果我能不能给她一个拥抱。这是我最想献给她的，一个很大的拥抱！我觉得这个星期对她来说是一个很开心的星期，这样我感到很高兴！

这周三是我姐姐的生日！我觉得她也有一个很好的生日。她最喜欢的老师跟她说了生日快乐好几次。她很高兴！那天有一个跟我同级的学生想让我告诉我姐姐她说生日快乐。我告诉了我姐姐了。晚上，她打开她的礼物。我觉得他最喜欢的礼物是一个Raven（橄榄球队）毛衣。如果她穿上了，她会跟她最喜欢的老师一样。

在周四我姐姐给了她的老师她自己做的杯形饼，她的梦想是厨师。

这个星期是一个很开心的星期因为那些生日。

This week there is two birthdays. One is on the 8th, one is on the 10th. Both of them is the people that are close to me.

This Monday is my America favorite teacher's birthday! I was very excited! I made a card and a bracelet for her. She was very happy, and I was very happy to saw her wonderful smile and receive a hug from her. She was thankful! I am so glad that my gift made her so happy! On Tuesday I asked if I could gave her a hug. That's what I most want to gave her, a big hug! I think this week is a very a happy week for her, which it makes me very happy!

This Wednesday is my sister's birthday! I think she has a good birthday too. Her favorite teacher said happy birthday to her many times. She was very happy! On that day one of students on my grade want me told my sister that she said happy birthday! I did. On that night, she open her present. I think her favorite present was a Raven sweatshirt, which is liker her favorite teacher.

On Thursday my sister gave some of her cupcake that she make on her own(her dream is to be a chef) to her teachers.

This week is a very happy week for me because of the birthday.      

Getting trouble for TV

为了电视闯祸

在我来到美国之后的几天。我们就坐在家里，而且没有做什么。所以我就看了很多的电视因为我很无聊。

有时候妈妈说我只能看两集电视，但我有时候看了三集。但是，后来我学了“懂得”妈妈说什么。我觉得在电视方面，我现在比两年前更听话了。耶！

The first couple of days after coming to America. We just stayed home and did nothing. So I watched a lot of TV shows because I was so bored.

Sometimes mom said I can only watch two episodes of TV shows, but I sometimes watched three. However, later I learn how to "understand" what mom said. I think I'm much better behaved about watching TV shows than two years ago! YEAH! 

Coming to America

来到美国

在2013年3月2日，我来到了美国而且成为一个美国公民。那是一个很长而且很无聊的航程。在航程的中间，我记得什么东西，我忘了我寄养家庭父母的照片（看这里）！这是的！我怎么能忘了我寄养家庭的照片！

当我们降落在美国，那里有一个司机把我们开回家。这花了大约二个小时。很多的时间我在睡觉因为我很累。

当我们快到家的时候，我醒了。我看见了那个司机转了好多个方向。那时候我想：哇！，他们是怎么记得那么多的路呀？如果是我的话，我会迷路的，而且用来走不出去的！

当我们进了家里，那里有两只狗。我对那两只狗一点点害怕。

然后就是时间上床了。我睡了一点点，但凌晨两点多的时候，我就醒了。

中国到美国的路程是很累的。

On March 2, 2013 I landed in America and became an American citizen. It was a very long flight and boring. In the middle of flight, I remembered something. I forgot my foster parents' picture (see here)! Shoot! How could I forget my foster family picture!

When we landed in America, there was a driver who drove us home. It took us about two hours. I slept most of the time because I was so tired.

When we were almost home, I woke up. I saw the driver took many turns. That time I thought: Wow, how could they remember that many roads? If it is me, I would get lost forever!

When we got into the house, there were two dogs. I was a little bit scared of the dogs.

Then it is time to go to bed. I slept little bit, but I woke up at two o'clock am.

The trip to America was very tiring.

Guangzhou-boring

广州－无聊

当我们在广州的时候，我们一般就坐在酒店里什么都不做。我打了好多的电话。有时候我闯祸了因为我打的时间太长了。

我跟刘雨晴和郑老师说话的时间最长。我最想念郑老师了。我每天都会梦到她！刘雨晴好像有一点点吃醋因为我没有梦到她。但是，我不知道为什么，不过我就是很想念郑老师，也老梦到她，可能那个照片帮助了我一点。

刘雨晴告诉过我我的同学也很想念我。我感到很惊奇因为当我在清河一小的时候，他们不是这样。这很奇怪！我同学王博飞说有时候人没有觉悟他们是多么的重要直到他们离开了。可能这是吧。为什么他们想念我呀？他们这一下就开始关心我，这让我感到很奇怪。

现在说说广州的事情吧。周六我去检查我的身体(医疗预约)。周四我们去了一个地方，在那里我同意我要成我家长的女儿和美国公民。

然后走我们飞到美国来。

When we in Guangzhou, we usually just sat around the hotel doing nothing. I made a lot of phone calls. Sometimes I got in trouble for talking too long.

I talked to Liu Yuqing and Mrs. Zheng the most. I miss Mrs. Zheng the most. I dreamed about her everyday! Liu Yuqing was a little jealous because I didn't dream about her. However, I didn't know why, but I just miss Mrs. Zheng a lot and dreamed about her a lot, maybe the picture helped me a little bit.

Liu Yuqing told that my classmates missed me a lot too. I was very surprise because when I was in Qinghe #1, they didn't act like that. It was very strange! My classmate Wang Bofei said sometimes people didn't realize how other people important until that person leave. Maybe that's the case. Why they miss me so much? Is so strange that they suddenly care about me so much.

Now let's talk about stuff in Guangzhou. On Saturday I went to check my body (medical appointment). On Thursday we went to a thing that I agreed that I'm going to become my parents' daughter and become an American citizen.

Then on Friday we flied to America.

Friday- Bye, Bye Beijing

周五－北京拜拜

周五我们离开了北京然后飞到广州。那天早上是很无聊的。我们不需要做什么。我们家里所有的人都在收拾东西。然后我们就呆在那儿。我的大姐姐和江阿姨去购物了，所里家里只有我和我家长。我不知道叔叔在哪儿（江阿姨的先生）。

我家长带我去外面走一会儿。然后我就玩了照相机一会儿。

当我们说再见的时候，叔叔问我能不能给他一个拥抱。我说行，因为我不想侮辱人。

当我们到了机场的时候，我大姐姐跟我们说再见。我不知道为什么。我家长说因为他得回家。我说好。

然后我们就飞到广州。我就能记得这些了。

Friday we left Beijing and flew to Guangzhou. In the morning it was very boring. We didn't have anything to do. All of our family were packing up. Then we were just hanging around. My big sister and Joy went shopping, so our house just my parents and me. I didn't know where Michael was (Joy's husband).

My parents took me outside the house and walked around little bit. Then I played  with the camera a little bit.

When it was time to say goodbye, Michael asked me to give him a hug. I said yes, because I didn't wanted to rude.

When we got to the airport,  my big sister said goodbye to us. I didn't knew why. My parents said that she had to go home. I said ok.

Then we fly to Guangzhou. That's all I can remember for that day.

Thursday-Happy day

周四－快乐的一天

周四可能是我最北京跟我的父母最开心的一天。那倒是挺有趣的。

早上我们去了圆明园。我很高兴。福利院的孩子说那里什么都没有，除了那些破东西。不过这也不是对的因为我看见了一些黑鹅和一些没有破掉的楼子。所有，那里有一些东西。我很喜欢那里的迷宫。当我们出去的时候倒是挺简单的，但回来的时候不怎么简单。我应该照的原路走回去。但是，我改变了一点点，而且这花了一些时间。我们走了一会。我只是一点点累，但我什么都没说因为这样他们就会说这些走路对我来说太长了，我不想听他们说这个。

但我们在圆明园的时候，江阿姨告诉我美国和中国有13个小时的差别。这倒是挺有趣的。我懂为什么因为太阳不能同时照着全地球。

然后我们去了颐和园。那里很漂亮。但是，我不是特别感兴趣。对于我来说，那倒是很无聊的。

然后我们就去麦当劳吃午饭。在那儿有一个女人过来跟我说话因为她看见我有美国父母。她对我很好。但是，我觉她的对我太好了而且我在她身边的时候感到不怎么舒服。

然后就是很开心的时期－看望清河一小！我很幸运郑老师一直在我身边！我们先去学校的读书馆。那时候郑老师没有在我身边。其他的时候他是在我身边。她给我她其中的一个照片，那个照片很漂亮。然后我们就去我班里面。我班同学倒是挺开心的。他们给我很多的礼物。让我感到一点点惊奇的是他们有多快乐。然后我就看望一些老师。我美术老师给了我很大的拥抱。让我感到很惊奇的是她的动作有多快。我不觉得她有那么的喜欢我。然后我们就看其他的老师。我也看了刘老师，她说她听说我要看望学校。那时候我就想：有多少人知道我要来呀？哇！我的事情传的那么快！

我也看到了我朋友马伟波。她也给我一个拥抱。我不是感到特奇怪因为他一般都是这样。

我也看到我一个阿姨而且我跑向她。她不是我最喜欢的阿姨，但我很喜欢她。

然后就是要走的时间，然后我们家人和郑老师合了一个影。在我们走了的时候，我想给郑老师一个拥抱，但我不知道怎么问。真是的！

下一站是刘雨晴的家。她家离学校很近。让我感到很惊奇的是她的家是有多小因为当我打那些秘密电话，我得等她好长时间接电话的。我们说了一点点话。她姥姥挺喜欢我的。

当我们回“家”的时候，江阿姨说：“现在你高兴了吧？”我笑了一点点了。

这是那天的事儿。

Thursday was properly the most happy day I spent with my parents. It was very interesting.

In the morning we went to Yuanmingyuan. I was very happy. The kids in the orphanage said there has nothing but old stuff. Well, that's not really true because I did see some black swans and some building that isn't tear down. So, it has something. I really liked the maze. The way out was pretty easy, but not coming back. I should have just followed the way I went on my way out. However, I changed a little bit and it took a bit longer. We did some of walking. I was only a little tired, but I didn't said anything because then they would have said this is too much walking for me, which I really don't want to hear it.

When we in the Yuanmingyuan, Joy told me that America and China have 13 hours of difference. It was interesting to know that. I understand why because the sun can't shine the whole earth at one time.

Then we went to (New) Summer Palace. It was pretty. However, I wasn't very interested in it. For me it was pretty boring.

Then we went Mc-Donald's for lunch. At there was a women who came to me because she see I have America parents. She was very nice to me. However, I think she was being to nice and I'm not feel very comfortable around her.

Then it was very happy part-visit Qinghe#1! I was so lucky that Mrs. Zheng was with me the whole time! We first went to the school library. That part Mrs. Zheng wasn't with me. For all the other part, she was with me. She gave me one of her pictures, which is very beautiful. Then we went to my classroom. My classmates was pretty happy. They gave me a lot of presents. I'm a little surprised how happy they were. Then I visit some teachers. My art teacher gave me a HUGE hug! I was very surprise at how quick her action was. I didn't think that she liked me that much. Then we visit some other teachers. I visit Mrs. Liu too, she said that she heard I was coming to visit. At that time I thought: how many people knew that I was coming? Wow, my news spread fast!

I also saw my friend Ma Weibo. She gave me a hug too. I wasn't really surprised by that because she usually does that.

I saw one nanny and I just run to her. She wasn't my favorite nanny, but I like her very much!

Then it's time to go and we took a picture of my family and Mrs. Zheng! Before we leave, I wanted to give Mrs. Zheng a hug, but I didn't because I didn't know how to ask. Shoot!

The next stop is Liu Yuqing's house. Her house was very close to the school. I was really surprise how small her house because when I made the secret phone call, it took her a long time to answer the phone. We talked a little bit. Her grandma liked me fine.

When we came "home", Joy said, "Now, you are happy?" I laughed a little bit.

That's all for that day.

Wednesday-Boring Day

周三－无聊的一天

（在北京的那个）周三不是一个很有趣的一天。上午我们得等文件工作。我不太清楚那是什么。我觉得应该是我护照。我们等了大约30分钟或者什么的，那是一个很长很无聊的一天。

晚上我们看一个杂技表演。那个挺有趣的。我挺喜欢的。有时候那些人做很我很希望做的了不起的东西。

看，这不是很无聊吗。

Wednesday wasn't a very exciting day. In the morning we had to wait for the paper work. I didn't know what it is. I think it's my passport. We waited about 30 minutes or something, it was a long boring day.

At night we watched an acrobat show. It was pretty cool. I liked it. Sometimes the people did amazing things that I wished I could do.

See it was boring.

Tuesday- Great Wall

周二-长城

在星期二我们去爬长城。一开始是很冷的。然后我就开始觉得有点热，所以我就开始把我的帽子的外衣给脱了。当我们爬长城的时候，有时候啊爸爸会看得我，不让我摔倒。但是，我不喜欢这个因为这是我觉得我需要更多的帮助。这要让我觉得我的残疾很明显。

那天我很想走到长城的最顶上。但是，我们只走过10个塔楼。我想走远点儿，但江阿姨（我们的翻译）说：“记得，如果你走远点儿的话，那你得全走回去。”那时候我就想：我不管，我就是到最顶上！我不觉得这是很多的走路。我们就不能试试吗。

然后我们就看鸟巢，但是我们没进去。我真希望我们能进去。这样会更有趣一点。当我们回到车上，我和我的大姐姐玩了一会儿。然后我就看了看一些中国电视。

晚上江阿姨叫我怎么做饺子。这很有趣。那是我第一次做饭因为在福利院那些阿姨不让我们做饭。所以我挺兴奋的。

这就是周二。

On Tuesday we went to the Great Wall. It was cold at first. Then I started getting hot, so I started taking my coat and hat off. When we walked the Great Wall, sometimes my dad would watch me to make sure I wasn't falling. However, I didn't like that because that made me think that I always need help. That also made me think that my disability is very obvious.

That day I really wanted to go all the way to the top of the Great Wall. However, we only went to 10 towers. I wanted to go farther, but Joy (our translator) said, "Remember, if you walk farther, you have to walk back." I thought: I don't care, I want to go all the way to the top! I didn't think it was a lot of walking. Can we just try it?

Then we went to the bird nest (from Beijing Olympics), but we didn't go in. I wish we can go in. That would be more fun. When we went back to the car, me and my big sister play a little. Then I watched some Chinese TV shows.

At night Joy taught me how to make dumpling. It was fun. It was my first time to made some food because in the orphanage the nannies didn't let us cook or something. So I was pretty excited.

Then we finished the day.

Monday- Sign for Having a Family

周一—为了有个家签字

在我第一次见到我美国家长的下一天我们去了一个办公室弄那么结婚证和收养的东西。那个挺无聊的。有一个阿姨让我签我想有家的字。我签了。我同意了。我那时候真的没有选择。我不想再回到福利院，因为到时候阿姨会生我的气而且我也不会再有第二次有家的机会了。所以我同意了。

之后我们去了雍和宫。那儿倒挺好的。然后面店。我喜欢那里的面。然后我们去天坛。当我们到那儿了之后，我那时候倒是挺累的。然后我们去火锅店，我不喜欢因为那儿有很多的肉，只有一点点蔬菜。然后我们去看了功夫表演，那个挺好的。那个功夫表演不是特别有趣，但也不是特无聊。我基本上能听得懂他们说的话。故事是用英文说的，这倒是挺奇怪的因为我们在中国北京。但是，他们有中文字幕。

这就是我和我父母的第一天。

The day after I met my American parents for the first time we went to an office that does marriage and adoption things. It was pretty boring. The women let me sign it whether I want a family or not. I signed it. I said yes. I really don't have a choice. I didn't want go back to the orphanage again, because then the nannies would be mad at me and I probably don't have anymore chances to have a family ever. So I said yes.

Then we went to Lama Temple. It was nice. Then to a noodle shop. I liked the noodles there. Then we went to Temple of Heaven. By the time we got there, I am pretty tired. Then we went to Hot Pot restaurant, I didn't like it because it has a lot of meat and little vegetable. Then we went to a Kung Fu show. It's ok. It's not really interesting, but it isn't very boring either. I kind of understand the story. The story spoke in English, which it's little bit strange because we are in Beijing, China. However, they have Chinese description.

That's the first day I with my parents.  

Meet My American parents

见我的美国父母

2014年2月19日是我在福利院的最后一天。

早上白阿姨（在严格的规则）对不我和我朋友不怎么开心因为我们在洗澡的时候玩了一会儿然后不小心溅到了她。在福利院我老是闯祸。我就是一个麻烦制造者。其实白阿姨不怎么喜欢我。我也不怎么喜欢她。我觉得她没有一个仁慈的心。但是，我可能是错的。

我最喜欢的高阿姨来早了因为她知道我那天会走的。她给了我一本书，然后我们就陪陪对方。

当韩阿姨说时间要走了，我跟我的朋友和高阿姨说再见。我很高兴。但是，当我见到我美国家长的时候，我的脸就变平了。

当我见到了我美国的父母然后是时间离开了，我不知道为什么我就开始哭了一点点。妈妈给我一张手纸。我还不想离开呢。我不觉得我准备要离开。但是，我做我最好的。

那天下午，江阿姨，我们的翻译，问我关于我的英文名字。在英语，他们的名字是，你的的名字，你中间的名字，然后你的姓。（XX XX XX)我的名字中间有两个名字。我就想，为什么美国人把他们的名字弄得那么长呀？我是不会记那么长的名字的。我告诉妈妈和爸爸那个名字太长了。然后我中间只有一个名字而且我觉得舒服多了。我的名字已经弄好了。丁姐姐帮我选了我的名字而且我喜欢我的名字。

然后江阿姨问我关于这礼拜在北京的计划。我在想看望刘雨晴（我朋友）和郑老师。我也想去圆明园，因为在学校我们有一个春游，但是我没有去因为老师说走路对我来说太长了。我那时候应该胆子大一点然后说不（不能跟我班同学一块儿去），但是我没说。然后我们商量了那个星期的计划，我同意了。

我和我的姐姐睡同一个屋。她只能说妹妹的中文。我挺喜欢她的。

Sunday, 2-19-2014 was the last day I lived in the orphanage.

In the morning nanny Bai (mention in Strict Rules) wasn't happy with me and my friends Su Nannan and Ma Weibo because we played in the shower and accidentally splashed her. In the orphanage I was always in trouble. I am just a trouble marker. Actually nanny Bai didn't like me very much. I didn't like her either. I think she didn't have a kind heart. However, I could be wrong.

My favorite nanny Gao came early for work because she knew I was going to leaving that day. She gave me a book, and we were just hanging out.

When nanny Han said it was time to go, I said goodbye to my friends and nanny Gao. I was very happy. However, when I saw my American parents, my face got flat.

When I saw my American parents and it was time to leave, I don't know why I started to cry a little bit. Mom gave me a tissue. I didn't want to leaved yet. I didn't think I was ready to leave yet. However, I did as best as I can.

That afternoon, Joy, our translator, asked me about my new English name.  It had two middle names. I thought, why Americans make the name so long? I am not going to remember that super long name. I told Mom and Dad it was too long. Then I only had one middle name and I was feeling better. My first name was already taken care of. Sister Ding helped me pick it out and I liked it.

Then Joy asked me about plans for the week in Beijing. I was thinking to visit Liu Yuqing (my friend) and Mrs. Zheng (my teacher). I also think Yuanmingyuan (the old summer palace), because in school we had a field trip, but I didn't go because the teacher said is was too long to let me walk. I should have been a little more bold and said no to it (not being allowed to go with my class), but I didn't. Then we talked out the plan for the week and I agreed.

Me and my sister slept in one room. She only can say "Mei Mei" in Chinese (which means small sister). I like her.

That was my adoption day.

Last day in Qinghe #1

在清河一小的最后一天

2012年2月17日星期五是我在清河一小的最后一天。对我来说，那是一个很好的最后一天。我很惊奇我班同学是怎么反应的，但我很高兴。

在我上学之前，区长魏阿姨告诉一个给我照相机（我在新的地方）。那个阿姨给我试了试。我问我班里最好的朋友如果我应不应该照相。她不知道。所以我就没做。不过我倒是挺后悔我没有做，我真希望我的胆子能大一点。但是我告诉他我的计划关于我们要做什么。我想她跟我一起去郑老师的办公室去问郑老师跟我合影。她说行。

在早上我们做早自习的时候，那个我不喜欢的女孩（新学生）走到我这儿，然后告诉我在第一个课后去她那儿。我很惊奇因为她一点都不喜欢我。

当我走到她那儿，她给我她的电话号码和一个玩具。我在班里最好的朋友，刘雨晴，也给我一些糖和玩具。我很高兴。

我的班主任陶老师给我买了一本书，然后她让我全班同学签字（写祝福语）。等我吃完饭了，她就把这本书给了我。在下课的时候，所有的同学都来到我拿给我留电话号码。我那天出去的次数不是很多因为没给人来到我们然后我就让他们写下他们的电话号码。

那里有一个男孩叫潘占勇。他的语文老师不怎么喜欢他。我们俩在二三年级的时候有同样的语文老师。他老会开玩笑说如果他去美国了，张老师会掌声鼓掌，而且她会很开心。所以我也会开同样的玩笑。我会说如果我去美国的话，我的同学会掌声鼓掌而且他们会很高兴。但是，这美国发生。在我在学校的最后一天，每个人都对我很我，没有一个人跟我说我的坏话。这让我很惊奇。

我也得到了郑老师的电话号码！我应该谢谢刘雨晴因为他告诉郑老师我很想要她的电话号码！她只我有一点点害怕。我很高兴郑老师给我了她的电话号码。

你还记得我原来的计划吗。陶老师不想让刘雨晴跟我一块去因为她要回家了。所以我就自己去了，不过我心事蹦蹦的跳。郑老师好像很高兴愿意跟我合影。她还夸了夸我。

当我放学了，我很高兴因为我有我和郑老师的合影！在福利院有些阿姨跟我照了相。我也跟我朋友合了影。我把我的照片下到PSP。因为我想照照片，魏阿姨在福利院待长一点时间。我得为了这个谢谢她。然后我朋友给我做了一些卡和首饰。

在晚上我把郑老师的照片给我朋友看了看。然后我就跟我的朋友待在一起。

Friday, 2-17-2012, was my last day in Qinghe#1. It was a very good last day for me. I was a little surprised at how my classmates responded, but I was very happy.

Before I went to school, the supervisor nanny Wei told a nanny to gave me the camera (I mentioned in new area). The nanny tested one picture on me. I asked my best friend in my class if I should take pictures. She didn't know. So I didn't. Although now I'm feel little sorry that I didn't, I wish I could be a bolder person. However, I told her my plan about what to do. I wanted her to come with me to Mrs. Zheng office to ask Mrs. Zheng to take a picture with me. She said ok.

In the morning when we were having a morning drill, the girl that I really don't like (new student) came over to me and told me after first period she wanted me to come over to them. I was little bit surprise because she didn't like me at all.

When I came over to her, she gave me her phone number and one toy. My best friend in my classmate, Liu Yuqing, give me some candy and toys too. I was very happy.

My home room teacher Mrs. Tao bought a book and let all my classmates sign it. She gave the book to me after lunch. During breaks, all of my classmates came to me and gave me their phone number. I didn't go out at all because everybody came to me and I just let them write down their phone number.

There was a boy named Pan Zhanyong. His Language Art teacher doesn't like him very much. We had same Language Art teacher in second and third grade. He was always joking that if he went to America, Mrs. Zhang would clap her hands and be very happy. So I also would joked the same thing. I would joked that if I went to America, my classmates will clap their hands and will be super happy! However, it didn't turn out that way. On my last day of school, everybody was nice to me and nobody said a mean thing to me. Which to me was a big surprise!

I also got Mrs. Zheng's phone number! I should thank Liu Yuqing because she told Mrs. Zheng that I really wanted her phone number! She knew I was little afraid. I was very happy that Mrs. Zheng gave me the phone number!

Do you remember my original plan for this day? Well, Mrs. Tao didn't want Liu Yuqing to come with me because she had to go home. So I went by myself and my heart was pumping very fast. Mrs. Zheng seemed very happy that I asked her to take a picture with me. She also said some good things about me!

At the end of school, I was very happy because I had a picture of me with Mrs. Zheng! At the orphanage some of the nannies took some pictures with me. I also took pictures of some of my friends. My pictures were loaded on my PSP. Because of me, nanny Wei stay longer at the orphanage. I have to thank to her about that. Then my friends makes some cards for me and gave me some jewelries.

At the end of day I showed Mrs. Zheng's picture to my friend. The rest of the night I spent with my friend. 

Last Week in Qinghe#1

在清河一小的最后一个星期

在2012年2月的第三个星期，我们开始上学了。这是我第一个星期上学，也是我最后一个星期在清河一小。

在周日我们回校去哪我们四年级下册的书。没有什么特别的事儿发生除了我看见了郑老师。

在星期一的时候我有PPD。丁姐姐过来接我。我很兴奋。当我回来的时候，悦老师就问我如果我是不是要有家了。我说是。

因为我做了PPD，我错过了一些英语作业。在清河一小，我们的主课是语文，数学，和英语。我们每天都有数学和英语，一个星期有两个英语课。当我们有大考试的话，我们老是考这三个科目。我没有很多的考试，一年只有六个考试。

周二当我写完了我的英语作业，然后交给我的英语张老师，她问我什么时候走。我说可能五月吧，因我那些阿姨说当我弄完了PPD，我得要等两三个月。

然后在周四，我会去检查了我的PPD。我的PPD不是很好因为我老是挠我的胳膊。做PPD是很痒的。那天早上我没有去学校。当我要去查我PPD的时候，我听见阿姨们说星期天我会被收养。那时候我就：哇，那么快，我以为我得等两三个月呢。那也挺好的因为我可以跟我的朋友，阿姨，和老师在一起的时间长点。

我也有X－光，那是在一个很大的楼房。所以我就想：或许我的家长已经在中国了，而且他们在那里设置了一个照相头。这样他们就知道我完成了我的X－光了。可能这就是为什么他们那么快就要接我了。

我有家的事情在学校传的很快。我所有的同学很大多数的老师都知道了。我四年级的语文老师祝福了我然后对我微笑。自从三年级的时候，那是她第一次对我微笑。当她当了我的老师之前她挺喜欢我的。当她当了我的老师之后，她不怎么喜欢我了，因为我的语文很不好，她好像不怎么喜欢我了，但是我想我二三年级的老师，她好像挺讨厌我的。

在周四下午。每个人知道我星期五是我在清河一小的最后一天，而且每个人都知道我最喜欢的老师是郑老师。所以有一个男孩跟我开玩笑：“明天你要看郑老师看的够呀！”我很告诉因为我很喜欢郑老师。

回头我会告诉你们我在清河一小的最后一天。

In the third week February of 2012, we started school. This was my first week of school, it was also was my last week in Qinghe#1.

We went back to school on Sunday to get our book for fourth grade second semester. Nothing really special on Sunday except I saw Mrs. Zheng.

On Monday, I had a PPD. The sister Ding picked me up. In the orphanage nannies that are very young, we call them sister. I was very excited. When I came back, Mr. Yue asked me if I was going to having family, I said yes.

Because I did PPD, I missed some of the English classwork. In Qinghe#1, our main classes were Language Art, math, and English. We had Language Art and math everyday, and English two classes a week. When we had a big test, we always tested those three subjects. We didn't have a lot of tests, one year we only had six big tests.

When I finished my English classwork on Tuesday and gave it to the English teacher Mrs. Zhang, she asked what time I was going to leave. I said maybe in May, because the nannies said you will be adopted two or three months after you have the PPD test.

Then on Thursday, I went back to check my PPD. My PPD wasn't really good because I scratched a lot. Doing PPD is very itchy. That morning I didn't go to school. When I was about to leave to check my PPD, I heard the nannies say I was going to be adopted this Sunday. At that time I thought: Wow, that's so fast, I thought I had to wait another two or three months! Which was good because I can stay with my friends, nannies, and teachers longer.

I also had a X-ray, and it was in a big building. So I thought: Maybe my parents were already in China, and they put a camera in there. That's how they know I finished X-ray. Maybe that's why they came to get me so fast.

My news about having family spread fast in school. All of my classmates and most of my teachers knew. My fourth grade Language Art teacher blessed me and smiled at me. I was pretty happy. It was her first smile since I was in third grade. She liked me before she became my teacher. After she became my teacher, because my Language Art was so bad, she seemed not to like me anymore, but she didn't like my second and third teacher who seemed to hate me.

On Thursday afternoon, everybody knew that Friday was my last day in Qinghe #1, and everybody knew that my favorite teacher was Mrs. Zheng. So there was one boy who joked to me, "Tomorrow you will see Mrs. Zheng as many times as you want!" I was very happy because I like Mrs. Zheng very much.

Next I will tell you my last day in Qinghe#1.

Face the Truth, Don't Hide

面对事实，不要逃避

现在每个人都知道一点点关于我的个性吧，我从来都不会用我的残疾当借口。我也不喜欢别人小看我。我相信如果人的努力够的话，那我们就什么都可以做！我是一个正常人！

那些阿姨老是不同意我的看法。有一定姐姐跟我说了话，她说我在逃避事实。她说我应该面对事实，因为我老是逃避我有残疾的事实。

我想了想她说了话。但是，没有一个人能改变我相信什么。我还是觉我是对的。我没有逃避事实。我实在是这证明不管我有没有残疾，我什么都能做。

可能有些东西对我来说有一点难。但是我不管如果我有没有残疾。我就是想证明我能做到的。我不需要额外的帮助！我不是在逃避事实。我是不会用我的残疾当借口的。

因为我有残疾，我会更加执着一点！我不管如果别人说我死脑筋。我就是要用我的方式来做事。

Everybody now knows a little of my personality. I don't ever use my disability as an excuse. I don't like when people underestimate me either. I believe if people work hard enough, then we can do anything! I am a normal person!

The nannies always disagree with me. One time sister Ding talked to me, she said I hide from the truth. She told me that I should face the truth, because I always hide the fact that I have a disability.

I thought about her comment. However, no one can change what I believe. I still think I am right. I didn't hide from the truth. I was trying to prove that I can do anything no matter if I had disability or not.

Maybe somethings are a little hard for me. However, I don't care if I have disability or not. I just want to prove that I can do it. I don't need extra help! I am not hiding from the truth. I would not use my disability as an excuse.

Because I have a disability, I am going to be more determined! I don't care if people are going to call me stubborn. I am going do it my way.

New Area

新的地方

福利院的孩子是分成几个区根据他们的年纪和能力。我住的地区是教育二区，那里有最大和最有能力的孩子。我们在福利院搬了三次。在第三次的时候，我们教育二区跟教育一区并合了。教育一区的孩子是福利院第二大的很第二最有能力的。当我们并拢了，我们有两倍的孩子。我们能有60个孩子吧。我们是“特殊教育区”

在我们搬到特殊教育的时候，那里有好多的女生在我们睡屋。有一个女孩她老爱笑。她每时每刻都在笑而且没人知道她在笑什么。她的名字叫水雅茹。我们有点烦和不高兴因为我想正要睡觉呢。有时候她喝药的时候都不能停止笑。现在我回想，我觉得我很坏。为什么她的笑让我觉得很烦？我应该试着去理解，这可是能她的残疾一部分吧。但是，我把人看成人，我一般都不会看他们的残疾的。有时候我觉得我是一个很消极的人，这是事实因为我看什么都是要看不好的一处。

那里也有一个女孩爱笑，但不像水雅茹一样。她的名字是水伊利。后来我和她们两个成为了朋友而且我改变了我对她们的看法。

因为我们搬到另一个地方，而且我们的区也很大，我们的地区有两个区长。一个是魏阿姨，一个是李阿姨。她们两个我都喜欢。有一次我问魏阿姨关于当我们学校去春游的话，我能不能有一个照相机。她答应了我。原因我问这个是因为我已经知道我有家了，所以如果我能有一些照片的话，这会是一个很好的记忆。

我们的区住在两层楼。我们住在第二层和第三层。第二层是学习和玩游戏的的楼层。第三层是看电视和睡觉的楼层。

阿姨也增加了两倍。有些阿姨很喜欢我。我也很喜欢她们。

The kids in the orphanage were divided into groups based on age and ability. The group I lived in was for the oldest and kids with the most ability in the orphanage. We moved to a different building three times. On the third time, our group and another group who were the second oldest and have second most ability moved together. After we became one group, we had twice as many, probably 60 kids. We were call the "Special Group"

The first night we moved to the special group, there were a lot of girls in our room. There was a girl who laughed a lot. She laughed all the time and nobody knew what she was laughing about. Her name is Shui Yaru. We were a little tired and unhappy because we were trying to sleep! Sometimes she was taking medicine, and she still couldn't stop laughing. Right now thinking back, I think that I am a very bad person. Why her laugh bother me? I should try to understand, maybe that's part of her disability. However, I see people as people. I usually don't see their disability. Sometimes I think I am very negative person, which was true because I always think negative about things.

There was another girl who also liked to laugh, but not as much as Shui Yaru. Her name is Shui Yili. Later I became friends with both of them and I changed my view about them.

Because we moved into a new area with a larger group, our group had two supervisors instead one. One is nanny Wei, one is nanny Li. I liked both of them. One time I asked nanny Wei about having a camera when we went on a field trip in school. She said yes. She said yes to it. The reason I asked is because I know I have a family, so if I could have some pictures, that will be a great memory.

Our group lived on two floors. We lived on the second and third floor. Second floor is the study and play floor. Third floor is watching TV and sleeping floor.

The nannies are double too. Some of the nannies liked me very much. I liked them very much too!

Secret Phone Call

秘密的电话

我们福利院里的电话没有外线。不过，这并不是事实。有一次我去了一个教室，那里有几个男孩在打电话。那时候我就知道那个电话室外线的。所以我就试了试给我班里最好的朋友打电话。我打错了电话号码好几次，但是最后我做到了。

然后一个男孩给他的寄养家庭打电话，我们都知道因为她哭了。不过只有那些大孩子知道，那些阿姨根本一点都不知道。

所以我就开始打电话了，而且我给我的寄养家庭打电话。我们已经很长时间没有跟对方说话。我挺想他们的。然后我就开始给我班最好的朋友打电话。我们的打电话的时候是很有趣的。我们没有告诉阿姨们因为我们知道我们会闯祸的。

但是，那个秘密并没包多久。有一次韩阿姨告诉我我的寄养父母告诉了他们我们给他们打电话了。糟了，我们闯祸了。她问我这是不是事实。我点了头。

然后我就想：为什么他们不让我们给我们的寄养父母打电话？我们想我们的寄养父母。他们不能改变事实。为什么他们叫我们的寄养父母把我们留到福利院？我就是不知道为什么？我知道他们想让我们给我们美国的父母和好，但是在同时，我们也可以继续跟我们的给养父母联接呀。

从那以后，我没再也没有打电话了。

In the orphanage, we don't have an outside phone connection. Well, that's not really true. One time I went to a room, and there is a couple of boys were making phone call. That's when I knew that phone have an outside. So I just try to call my best friend in my class. I hit the wrong number a lot of times, but finally, I made!

Then there was one boy who made a phone call to his foster parents, we all knew because he was crying. Well, only the big kids knew, the nannies didn't know any of this.

So I started making phone calls, and I called my foster family. It had been a long time that we didn't talked to each other. I missed them. Then I call my best friend in my class. We had a very fun time making phone calls. We didn't tell the nannies because we knew then we were in trouble.

However, the secret didn't last for long. One time nanny Han told me that my foster parents told them that we had made phone calls. Uh-oh, we are in trouble. She ask me if this is true. I nod.

Then I was thinking: Why don't they let us make phone calls to our foster parents? We miss our foster parents. They can't change the fact. Why does the orphanage make the parents leave us in the orphanage? I just don't know why. I know they want us to get along with our American parents, but at the same time, we still can keep in touch with our foster parents.

After that, we never made phone calls again.

Thanksgiving- Time to Give Thanks

感恩节－感谢的时间到了

昨天是感恩节。我有一个挺好的人生。如果我没有了这些愿意关心我，帮助我指导我的生活的人，我的生活可能是最糟糕的。

首先－我想感谢上帝。谢谢你给我很多人来关心我而且给我一个很好的人生，然我有一个机会有一个成功的人生，机会去帮助别人。

我还想谢谢我的寄养家庭招呼了我八年。谢谢我在中国最喜欢的老师，郑老师，她让我明白了世界上最好美丽的东西，也在我刚刚来到新家庭的时候，让我知道和适应我的家庭的爱。谢谢其他的中国老师在我被欺负的时候保护了我，尤其是刘老师愿意找时间跟我同学说话。谢谢我的朋友葛亚超，苏楠楠，还有其他的，她们在我伤心和不高兴的时候安慰了我。谢谢高阿姨能够理解我而且从来都没有小看我。

谢谢我的父母收养了我而且还继续收养，没有停止。谢谢美国的朋友和同学帮助了我很多，还愿意跟我说话，而且不会看不起和排斥我。谢谢我美国最喜欢的老师教我很多的人生道理，而且让我知道什么是一个好老师，她也帮助了我很多，而且即使我有时候不礼貌，她也会认真听完我说的话。我希望我没有把您弄得很疲累。谢谢其他的美国老师对我很有耐心。我知道有时候我挺不好对付的。谢谢所有的SPMS(Severna Park中学）试着安慰我当我得到不好的成绩而且也鼓励我。谢谢我的姐妹叫我很多的道理，而且当我来到了美国之后，我的的同学在中国欺负我的时候，她会替我出气。

最后，我谢谢那些老是一见到我对我微笑的老师，大人，朋友，同学。还有，谢谢你们对我的好。有很多人关心我而且喜欢我的感受是最好的了。我真希望世界会能这样，那那些孤儿就不会度过很多的东西了。

Yesterday is Thanksgiving. I had a pretty good life. My life could be worst if I didn't had those people who willing to care about me, and help me guide through in my life.

First, I want thank to God. Thank you for give me many people who care about me and give me a wonderful life, let me have a opportunity to be successful and help people.

I also want to thank to my foster family, who took care me for eight years. Thank you to my favorite teacher in China, Mrs. Zheng, who let me realized most beautiful thing in the world, and also guide me through when I'm getting use to my new family. Thank you to other teachers in China, who protect me from being bullied, especially Mrs. Liu, who is willing to take the time to talk to my classmate. Thank you to my friends, Ge Yachao, Su Nannan, and other, who comforted me when I am sad or not happy.  Thank you nanny Gao, who understand me and never underestimate me.

Thank you to my parents, who adopted me and kept going instead stop adopting. Thank you to my American friends and classmates, who help me a lot, and willing to talked to me, and never look down or discriminate me. Thank you to my favorite American teacher, who taught me a lot of life lesson and show me what's a good teacher is like, who also kept helping me a lot, and always to me even sometime when I was little rude. I hope I didn't make you so tired. Thanks to other American teacher, who are being very patient with me. I know some times I'm hard on the teachers. Thank to all SPMS teacher, who tried to comfort me when I got bad grade and encourage me. Thank you to my sister, who taught me a lot of lessons, and also help me to stop being bullied by my classmate in China after coming to America.

At last, I thank to the teachers, adults, friends and students who smile at me every times. Also, thank you being so nice me. Having many people who care about me and like me is the best thing. I wish the world could be like that, so other orphan couldn't have to go through that many things.

News about Family

家庭新闻

在2011年11月29日，我知道我有家了！

那是在周二。在清河一小，我们周二和周五是下午3点放学，周一，周三，和周四都是3:40放学。如果我们3点放学的话，那我们就可以看到我们的区长。

那天下午我听到那些去学校接我的阿姨说关于我有家的事儿。我挺高兴能听到这个。等我们回到福利院，区长李阿姨就告诉我我有家了而且给我看了照片书。我很高兴而且很兴奋。

如果孩子要被收养的话，区长会让他们看照片书，然后给他们父母送给他们的糖，（可能）玩具给他们。如果家长送他们别的东西的话，那些小孩可或不可能看或拥有。

所以阿姨给我我家长送给我的糖和玩具。我把这些和在福利院的孩子一起分享。有的阿姨和孩子为我很高兴。我可能是最兴奋的吧。

On 11-29-2011, I knew that I have a family!

It was Tuesday. In Qinghe #1 on Tuesday and Friday we finished school at 3:00PM (other days we finish at 3:40PM). If we finished at 3:00, then we can see the supervisor of our area at the orphanage.

Anyway, that afternoon I heard the nannies who came to pick us up at school say something about me having a family. I was a little happy to hear this. When we came to the orphanage, the supervisor nanny Li told me that I have a family and showed me the photo book! I was so happy and excited.

If the kids are going to be adopted, the supervisor would let them see the photo book and give them the candies and maybe toys that their parents sent. If the parents sent other stuff, the kids may or may not get to have or see.

So the nannies gave me the candies and toys that my parents sent me. I shared those with the kids who were in the orphanage. Some of the nannies and kids were very happy for me. I was probably the most happy.  

Smile-Is the Best Thing

微笑－是最好的东西

在中国，我并不是整天都会有很大的笑脸。我一般都不会笑的。但是我已经不是那种的人了。

当我上三年级的时候。我有一个很喜欢我的科学老师。后来她成为了我在中国最喜欢的老师。我很喜欢她，而且她帮助我明白了世界上最美丽的东西。

当她教我们的时候，她的脸上老是充满笑脸。这老让很快乐。然后我们四年级换了一个老师。但是，我还能看到我最喜欢的老师因为她教三年级。当我上四年级的时候，三和四年级都是在同一个楼层。所以我每天都能看到她。在中国学校，那里有一个规矩：如果我们看到一个老师，我们得鞠躬说：“老师好。”每次当我跟她说好的时候，她的脸上老师充满笑容然后用很甜的声音对我说好。她的名字是郑老师。从那以后，我才明白微笑是世界上最美丽最好的东西（从人们里面）。

当我来到了美国，有的老师像郑老师一样。我美国最喜欢的老师（数学）脸上老师充满了微笑。我超喜欢她的微笑。她有时候告诉我我的微笑能让她高兴！其实，她的微笑也让我开心！我第二最喜欢的老师（科学）也老是对我微笑。她告诉过我我有一个很漂亮的笑脸！

现在我住在美国而且我是一个很快乐的人。当我看到别人，我会把我的笑容放在我的脸上而且我特爱别人的笑脸。这就是让我我特高兴。

In China, I didn't have a big smile all the times. I usually didn't smile at all. But I'm not that kind of person anymore.

When I went to third grade. I had a science teacher who liked me very much. Later she became my favorite teacher in China. I like her very much, and she helped me realize the beautiful things in the world.

When she teach us, she always put a smile on her face. That just makes me very happy. Then in fourth grade our science teacher change. However, I still can see my favorite teacher because she teach third grade. When I was in fourth grade, third and fourth grade are in the same floor. So I can see her every day. In China school, there was a rule: when we see a teacher, we have to bow and say, "hello. teacher." Every times when I say hello to her, she always put her smile in her face and use her sweet voice to say hello to me. Her name is Mrs. Zheng. From that later, I just realize smile is the most beautiful and best thing in the world from people.

When I came to America, some of the teachers are like Mrs. Zheng. My American favorite teacher(math) alway have smile on her face. I like her smile so much. She sometimes told me that my smile makes her happy! Actually, her smile makes me happy too! My second favorite teacher(science) always smiles at me too. She told me that I have a beautiful smile!  

Right now I live in America and am a very happy person. When I see people, I will put my smile on my face and I love other people's smiles. It just makes me so happy.

What I Want

我想要什么

在我知道我被收养之前，那些人会问孩子好多的问题。

他们问我好多的问题，有的问题倒是挺难回答的。他们问了我很多那种“什么是你最喜欢的”问题，对于我来说，我没有很多最喜欢的东西。我不怎么喜欢这些问题。那时候有两个问题我倒是挺喜欢回答的，一个是我长大想做什么，我说老师。那时候我想我是一个好学生（因为大家都说我是），所以我就认为：如果我是一个好学生，那好学生就应该当一个老师。我不怎么太了解老师除了知道他们应该教东西。

第二个问题就你想要什么样的家庭。我说：“我想有我的朋友和父母。”那时候我在想葛亚超（我在我最好的朋友提过她），因为我很想她，而且我很想再能见到她。但是，那个问我问题的人没有听懂我说的话。所以他说：“那哥哥姐姐呢？”“好吧。”但是，我真的不是很想说行，我的意思是我想有哥哥姐姐，但我最想的是我最好的朋友。这就是我想要的。

Before I know I was going to adopted, the people would ask the kids some question.

They asked me a lot of questions, some of questions is kind of hard to answer. They asked a lot of "what's your favorite" kind of questions, for me, I don't have a lot of favorite. I kind don't like those questions. There were two question that I like to answer, one is what I want to be when I grew up, I said a teacher. At that times I thought I was a good student(since everybody said I was), so I thought: If I'm a good student, then a good student should be a teacher. I really didn't know a lot about teacher except that they are suppose to teach.

The second question what kind of family do you want to have. I said, "I want my family have my friend and my parents." At  that times I was thinking about Ge Yachao (I mention her in My Best Friend), because I do miss her a lot, and I want to see her again. However, the guy who ask the question didn't understand. So he said, "What about brothers and sisters?" "OK." However, I really didn't want to said OK, I mean, I want to have brothers and sisters, but mostly my best friend. That's what I really want. 

New Students

新学生

当我去四年级的时候，所有的恶霸都渐渐消失了。那里不是有很多的恶霸，但是还有一些。

那儿有一个女孩我不喜欢（我在学校作业里面提到了她）。她老是在我后面说我坏话，那时候我离她也不是特远。有一次我告诉了老师，然后她说她再说其他的东西！当时我就想：“你以为我是笨蛋呀。我耳朵还挺好的。你不用在那儿装了！”我就是不喜欢她。她很吵，老是抱怨。有时候当该她的组干活的时候，她老师大声嚷嚷那些人然后告诉他们应该做什么。所有人都希望她可以闭上她的嘴。她就是特烦！

那还有一个同学也挺烦的。当我上四年级，他和另外一个男孩是新来的。但是另一个男孩很好，但他不是。

每次当我们要排队去体育或是运动的时候，他离我不远而且老是跟我说我的不好。我很不喜欢他。我都快要讨厌死他了，我真希望他可以一天不说话。

当我们运动的时候，他对我说：“不许碰我！”我想：“谁愿意碰你呀”有时候我不小心碰到他了，甚至有时候是他先碰我的，然后他说：“都告诉你了，不许碰我！”我很生气。那时候我的脸都充满了火而且我不能再忍了。

他也对不我公平。有一次在午餐的时候他（轻轻的）打了我而且告诉我我应该说对不起。我说这是意外。然后那儿有另一个女孩也碰到了他然后她跟他说对不起，然后他说没关系。之后我就问他为什么他没有打她。他说因为她说对不起了。我当时特不高兴而且我就是不能说对不起。他不能这样对人！他就是不能对一个人特怀，然后当另一个人来了，他就对她们就像他是一个很好的男孩，但他不是一个好男孩。不管是什么，我是不会说他是好人的。

现在我回想了，我可以就说对不起然后就走了。我可以听他们的话。有时候当我回想的时候我老是觉得我老乡别人的坏。或许有的阿姨是对的，我是有坏脾气的。

When I went to fourth grade, all the bullies faded away. There weren't too many bullies, but still some.

There was a girl that I really didn't like (I mentioned her in school work). She always was saying bad thing about me and I wasn't far away! One time I told the teacher, and she said she was saying other things! At that time I thought: "Do you think I'm stupid. My hearing is good. You don't need to pretend!" I just don't like her. She is noisy, always complaining. Sometimes when it was her group's turn to do chores, she was always yelling at the people and telling them what do to. Everybody wished that she could keep her mouth shut. She was so annoying!

There was a another classmate who were also very annoying. He and another boys was new to the school when I went to fourth grade. However, the other boy was very nice, but not him.

Every time we lined up to go to PE or do some exercise, he stood not too far from me and he would say bad things to me. I very very don't like him. I almost hated him. I wished he could stop talking for a day!

When we were doing exercise, he said to me, "Don't touch me!" I thought: "Who want to touch you anyway." Sometimes I accidentally bumped him and sometimes he bumped me first, and he said, "Told you, don't touch me!" I was so mad. At that time my face was fill up with fire and couldn't take in anymore.

He also treated me unfair. One time at lunch he hit me (gently) and told me that I should say sorry. I said it was accident. Then there was another girl who bumped into him and said sorry, and he said it's OK. Then I ask him why he didn't hit her. He said because she said sorry. I was so unhappy that I just can't say sorry. He can't treat people like that! He just can't treat one person really mean, and when another person come, he treat them like he was a very nice boy, which he was not! I would not say he was nice no matter what!

Now I'm thinking back, I could just say sorry and be done. I could listen to them. Sometimes when I think back I think I am always looking negative about people. Maybe some of the nannies are right, I am a quick temper.

Let's Talk

让我们来谈谈

在二和三年级的时候，我有一个班主任刘老师，她倒是挺喜欢我的。她知道有些学生经常欺负我。当学生欺负我的时候，我一般都不会告诉老师因为即使如果我告诉了老师，他们也不会停止的。但是，我会告诉阿姨的。有一次我告诉了她们，有一个阿姨带我去告诉刘老师。第二天，刘老师告诉那些学生停止。

但是，学生并没有停止。有一次当我们下课的时候，有一个孩子正要用他的外衣打我，但是我没有让打到我。刘老师看见了而且她很不高兴。下一天在午餐的时候，她跟四个男孩说了话。我听见了他们的谈话。刘老师再问他们我身上那部分可怕。（我的同学老师对待我像一只老虎－他们一看见我就跑。）然后她会问另一个问题关于他们为什么对我不好。那些男孩什么都没说。

等午餐和教室的活弄完了，刘老师说今天她会说关于我的事儿。她告诉那些孩子他们应该对我好一点，然后说我是很有帮助的。（我喜欢帮助别人，所以刘老师让我擦黑板。我不是一个特别高的人，所以我就用一个凳子帮助我。有一次我差点摔倒了，所以她就让我干别的活。）当我说完了，我就流眼泪了。然后她就叫那四个男孩跟我说对不起，然后我说没关系。

当话说完了之后，所有人开始对我好了而且我很高兴。但是这件事没有坚持了很久。

In second and third grade, I had a homeroom teacher Mrs. Liu who liked me fine. She knows that some of the kids are bullying me. When the students bullied me, I usually didn't tell the teacher because even if I told the teacher, they weren't going to stop anyway. However, I would tell the nannies. One times when I told them, one of the nannies bring me to Mrs. Liu and told her. On second day, Mrs. Liu told the students to stop.

However, the students didn't. One time when class finished, one kid was going to use his coat to hit me, but I never let him. Mrs. Liu saw that and she was very unhappy. The next day at lunch, she talked to four of the boys. I heard the conversation. Mrs. Liu asked them which part of my body was scary. (My classmates always treated me like I'm a tiger - running away from me.) Then she asked another question about why they treated me badly. The boys were silent.

After lunch and all the classroom chores were done, Mrs. Liu said that today she was going to talk about me. She told the kids that they should be nice to me, and  said I was very helpful. (I like to help people, so Mrs. Liu let me clean the blackboard. I am not a very tall person, so I used a chair to help. One time I almost fell, so she let me do other chores.) When she finished talking, my eyes were filled up. Then she told the four boys to say sorry to me, and I said it's ok.

After the talk, everybody started being nice to me and I was very happy. But this didn't last for very long.

How do you deal with life?

你怎么面对生活？

好了，现在每个人都知道我受到很多的气。也许有些人很好奇我是怎么面对（解决）的。那好，我现在就会告诉你。

因为他们对我很不好，可能很多人觉得我不是特高兴。这个是对也是错。当别人欺负我的时候，我会尽量不浪费我的力量去生他们的气。如果他们对我动手的话，有时候我会假装把这个当成游戏，然后用有精神的脸跟他们玩。不过可能有的人会说我是一个坏人，但是这就是我面对的方法。我不喜欢跟别人交敌人，因为我想成为一个快乐的人。

如果别人跟我说坏东西，我会抗议他们。现在我又是一个坏脾气的人。有的孩子这样说过我。他们也不是错的。我应该忍在心里，然后耐心地问他们停止。但是，我实在忍不住的。别人怎么对待我，我就怎么对待别人。

当我上一年级的时候，所有的孩子都对我不好。在中国里，我们有一句话：你敬我一尺，我敬你一寸。想到这儿，我老是认为他们对我不好是因为我对她们还不够好，所以我就继续对她们好。但是时间过去了，我不能再忍了，而且我不会再听他们了。

现在我想想，我应该怎么对待别人？有时候我觉得我应该对他们好一点。我真希望我能得到答案。

Well, everyone now knows that I have been bullied a lot. Maybe some of you are curious about how I dealt with it. Well, I am going to tell you now.

Maybe most of you thought I wasn't a happy a lot because of how they treated me. Well, that's true and false. When people bullied me, I tried not waste all my energy to be mad at them all the time. If people are physically hit me, sometimes I would act like a game and would play the game with my face light up. Although that maybe saying that I am a bad person, but that just how I dealt with it. I don't like to make enemies with people, because I want be a happy person!

Now, if people say mean things to me, I will argue with them. By doing that, now I have a quick temper. Which some of kids say to me. They aren't wrong. I should take it all in and ask them to stop nicely. However, I just can't take anymore. I will treat people however they treat me.

When I was in first grade, all the kids were mean to me. There is a quote in Chinese: You respect me one inch, I respect you ten feet. Thinking about that, I always think they are mean to me because I wasn't nice enough, so I just keep be more nice to them. But over times, I just couldn't take anymore, and I would not listen to them anymore.

Now I am thinking, How I suppose to treat people? Sometimes I think I should treat them even nicer. I wish I can know the answer.

Work, Work, Work

工作，工作，工作

在中国我们有很多的家庭和课堂作业。对于课堂作业我也不是特不喜欢，但我非常不喜欢做家庭作业。

说到家庭作业，几乎每次都是我最后完成的。有时候我很妒忌他们可以玩，但我得需要完成作业。为什么我老是最后一个人完成作业？

我一年级的作业还行吧，对我来说也不是特多。当我上二年级的时候，张老师给我们留了好多作业。她让我们抄两三页的作文，然后抄诗歌四或五次，还有词语几次。

这对于我来说是很多的作业。一般我到8点或9点才完成。大多次都是我最后完成作业的。我非常不高兴因为别的孩子在玩而我却要完成我的作业。

在上学的早上我老是抱怨语文张老师给我们的作业有多多。然后她就问：“我留的作业多吗？”然后她问其中一个快的学生什么是时候完成的，他们回答7点。他们当然完成得早，他们写字的速度比我要快得多了。

其实他们是有一点点害怕张老师，我也是一样。当我们做错了什么东西，她会老是动手的方法训我们。所以，没有一个人会找机会招惹她。

三年级的时候我有同样多的作业。当我上四年级的时候，我们换了一个语文老师而且她留的作业不怎么多。但也不是很少。

现在说说课堂作业，或是学校作业。有时候我们听写，如果我们写错了，我们得重写五或十次。不知道这对你来说多不多，但是对那些孩子得了100是不多。在语文，我们得把字写漂亮一点，这样别人就能读。这是不一个很难的事情去做，对吧？但是，当老师说第一个词，我们写下来。在我写完之前，老师就说下一个词。接着她会说下一个，然后下一个，然后我就跟不上了。所以需要写工整一点和跟上速度是比较难的。

然后我们把我们的纸传到前面，然后老师就混乱一下，然后就给我们回去。我的纸是在一个我很不喜欢的女孩。她给我判得很严格，然后我就不高兴因为我能看得出来那个词语写的是什么。再说了，在那种情况，这是我最好的了。所以我得抄好几遍因为我的作业还不是很好。

在数学课上老师也不想让我们出错。他们想让我们认真检查。有一次我们做八个乘除法竖式。我错了一个，然后我得把所有那八个问题抄十遍。我花了很长的时间才完成的。

有时候当我们不听话的话，老师就会让我们抄一个文章。有一次她叫我们抄一个四页的文章。我不喜欢抄文章。

在暑假和寒假的时候我们也有作业。阿姨说：“先苦后甜。”也就说我们先做那些辛苦的工作，然后我们就可以玩玩，轻松轻松。所以每个假期，我会比别的孩子做作业的时间长因为我觉得我不会完成的，而且我不想当最后。所以当那些孩子玩的时候，我就写我的作业。那些孩子生我的气因为他们觉得我在搞特殊而且命令我要玩不要做作业。现在，可能有一些人会觉得我适应了很刻苦的孩子。但是，如果我像其他孩子一样玩的话而且只在平日（周一至周五）做作业，到时候我是不会完成的。所以我得多勤奋点儿，如果我想跟上其他的孩子，那我没有选择。

在中国一般我都不在乎或想我有多努力。我就一直做到我完成了我应该做的事儿。然后我会玩游戏或看电视。我不怎么在乎我到底累不累。很多人说我要强，但我其实是要跟上别人，而且我不会给别人任何机会小看我。这就是我。我想跟别人一样。

 In China school we had to do a lot of classwork and homework. I didn't mind doing class work, but I don't like doing homework.

When it comes to homework, almost always I'm the last one who finished. Sometimes I am jealous they can play, but I have to finish my homework. Why I'm always the last one to finish homework?

My first grade homework is OK, not too much for me. When it I went to second grade,  Mrs. Zhang gave us a lot of homework. She makes us copy two or three pages of article, and copy poems four or five times, and words few times.

It was a lot of homework to me. I usually didn't finished until 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock. Most of the time I finished homework last. I was very unhappy because other kids are playing around and I just have finish my homework.

In the school morning I always complain how much homework the Language Art teacher Mrs. Zhang gave us. Then she would ask, "Did I give you too much homework?" and she ask one of the fast students when they finished. They answer 7 o'clock. Of course they finished early, their writing is much faster than mine. 

Actually they were little bit afraid of Mrs. Zhang, and that's little bit true for me. When we do something wrong, she would scold us by use a lot of body language. So, no body would take a chance to mess around with her.

For third grade I have same amount of homework. When I got to fourth grade, the Language Art teacher change and we don't have as much homework. But isn't a very little.

Now let's talk about classwork, or school work. Sometimes we have some dictation, if we get wrong, we would have to rewrite that word five or ten times. Don't know if that sound a lot to you, but not for the kids who got a 100. In Language Art, we have to write the character beautifully so other people can read. That's not a hard thing to do, right? However, when teacher said the first word, we wrote down. Before I finished writing it, the teacher said the next word. Then she would say the next and next and I can't catch up anymore. So writing beautifully and keeping up with the speed is kind  of hard.

Then we passed our paper to the front and the teacher mixed them up and gave them back to us. One time, my work ended up with a girl that I really don't like. She graded me very strictly and I was very unhappy because I can read the word and I thought it's beautiful. In fact, that is my best for that situation. So I have to copy over many times because it was good enough.

In math class the teacher don't want us to make mistakes either. They want us to check carefully. One time we did eight long division and multiplication problems. I got one wrong, and I end up writing all eight problems ten times! It took me a long time.

Sometimes when we disobey, the teacher will make us copy an article. One time she make us copy an article with four pages of characters! I don't like to copy the article.

We have homework during summer and winter vacations. The nannies said, "First bitter, then sweet." which means first we do all the hard work, then we will have fun times to rest and play. So every vacations, I will do my homework longer than the others because I think I won't finish and I didn't want to be the last one. So when the kids played, I did my homework. The kids were mad at me because they think I'm being treated special and told me to play instead of doing my homework. Now, maybe some of you think I am a very hard worker. However, if I were like other kids playing and only doing homework on weekdays, I would not finish on time. So I have to work harder. I don't have a choice if I want to catch up with the other students.

In China I usually didn't care or think about how hard I work. I just work until I finished what I was suppose to do. Then I will play or watch TV. I really didn't care if I was tired or not. Many people said I was eager to excel, but what I am really doing is trying to catch up with everybody and I don't let other people take any chance to underestimate me. That's just me. I want be just like everybody.

Popular Kid

有名的孩子

在清河一小，对于我的年级来说，我是一个很出名的孩子。几乎所有跟我一样年级的人都知道我。但是，当一个很有名的孩子的感觉不是老是特好。

在学校，大多数的老师都挺喜欢我，只有我二三年级的（张）老师不喜欢我。但是，所有的孩子都讨厌我，很多。或许有些人只讨厌我一点点。

当我去厕所或是在走廊的时候，那些小孩很快就会认出来是我，然后就说我坏话，比如他们说我一班的大傻子，或是“哎，她是孤儿。”或说我的残疾。我知道他们在说我。我很不高兴。为什么她们老得说什么？他们就不能假装我不在，这样大家都高兴？我觉得他们应该闭上他们的嘴，舍得伤了别人的心。

在中国我老在想，是什么使他们那么看不起我？我又不是一个特凶的人。我着他还是惹他们？我真的那么坏吗？我这的有那么多的缺点吗？我真希望我能成为他们的朋友，但有时候我就是觉得他们特邪恶。

有时候我会开玩笑，说我是个那么倒霉的人，因为连新同学都讨厌我。

在我的一生，无论我去哪里，我一直是一个很有名的孩子。有时候你出名时是因为你是多么好的人，说是多么坏的人。我两个都经过过。

In Qinghe #1 I was a very popular kid for my grade. Almost all the kids in my grade know me. However, being popular is not always make you feel good.

In school, most of the teachers like me, only my second and third grade teacher (Mrs. Zhang) don't like me. However, all the kids hate me, a lot. Well, maybe some of them only hate me a little. 

When I go to bathroom or in the hallway, the kids would immediately recognize me and said negative things about me, such as that I'm the stupid guy in my class, or "Hey, she is a orphan." Or talking about my disability. I know they are talking about me. I was very unhappy. Why they always have to say something? Can't they just pretend I wan't there, so everybody is happy? I think they should keep their mouth shut, so they won't hurt anybody's feeling.

In China I always wonder, what make them to look so down on me? I wasn't really a mean person. What did I ever do to them? Am I really that horrible? Do I really have that many weakness? I wish I can be friend with them, but sometimes I think they are just evil.

Sometimes I will joke about how unlucky a person I am, because even the new kids hate me.

I always was a popular kid all my life, no matter where I go. Sometimes you can be popular for how wonderful you are, or how terrible you are. I been through both of them.    

Slow and Useless Person

慢和没用的人

在中国我是称为一个很慢的人，因为我做什么事儿都很慢。每次都是我最后完成作业，穿完衣服，刷完牙和其他的事儿。我不喜欢当最后一个。所有人都生我的气因为很慢。我不知道为什么我很慢。有的孩子特快的孩子。我真希望我能像他们一样快。

我的跑步也很慢。有时候在体育课上我们完接力赛跑。我的队员会问我能不能不跑，这样他们就不是因为我而输掉。我会反对他们，因为我不想只站在哪儿看的他们那么有乐趣。我也想有乐趣。我会做我最好的。正如你所猜的，哪个队有我，那个队就是“倒霉”队。每次我的队都是输了，同学们会说这全都是我的错，如果我没参加的话，他们可能就会赢了。这是事实。但是，我还是反对当他们问我能不跑吗，这是我的性格。如果你觉得我不能做什么东西，然后问我能不能不做，当你让别人做的时候，我会马上说不。我不管别人说什么，如果遇到我能不能做事的问题，他们没有权力控制我。我可以自己决定。

在学校我不是一个很有帮助的人，但我想帮助。老师会向别的学生问帮助，但好像从来都没问我。有时候我会问我能不能帮助，有时候即使他们不叫我去帮助，我还是会帮助的（但也就一次两次）。在学校我们也干了活，老师会决定那个组会做值日。他们让我干活了，但只让我做简单的活，从来就没让我做“难”的活。我真希望他们能让我做“难”的活，但我也不是特不高兴，最起码他们让我干活了。

在清河一小我有三个语文老师，一年级一个，二三年级一个，四年级一个。其中的两个老师说我没用和不值得（不是一年级的老师）。又一次在语文课我在读书，但由于某些原因，我读不了，就像有时又你读不了因为你有坏的一点，或是你的舌头特缠。我四年级的语文老师生气了然后说：“坐下，这没用，连这个都不能读。”先开始我笑了因为其他所有的同学笑了，一般当别人笑的时候，我不能帮助（控制我自己不笑）。但是，后来我很伤心，我差一点哭了因为她说的话。但是她说的是对的。有一次在二年级还是三年级，（我也忘了）我得了一个很不好的成绩。我的语文老师说白吃了。我哭了因为她说的太生硬了，我不能再接受了，但她说对了。

说到没用和慢，大多的问题是在体育。在我班上我就像一个大石头，连累了大家。体育老师又一次试得停止。但我也不是特高兴对他们的反应。

有时候当我上床的时候，我会哭一点点因为我很没有。现在我回想了一下，如果我不在人间的话，我的同学会有少一点问题。其他人也能一样（像我同学）。

In China I'm consider a very slow person, because everything I did are very slow. Every times I always the last one who finish homework, getting dress, brush teeth and other. I don't like when I the last one. Everybody get mad at me because I am so slow. I don't know why I'm so slow. Some of other kids are very fast kids. I wish I could be as fast as them.

My running is very slow too. Sometimes in PE class we will play relay running. My teammate will ask me not to run, so they don't have to loose to other team just because of me. I will oppose with them because I don't want to just stand and watch them having fun. I want to have fun too. I will try my best. As you guess, which team I'm on, which team is the "unlucky" team. Every times my team loose, the students will say it is all my false, if I didn't participate, they could be wining. Which it was true. However, I still say no to them when they ask me to not run, that's parts of my personality. If you say something that you think I could do it while you let other people do it, I will say no immediately. I don't care what people say, they have no control over me when it come to if I can do things or not. I can decide myself.

In school I wasn't very helpful person, but I want to help. The teachers will ask other students to help, but almost never ask me. Sometimes I will ask to help them, and sometimes I will help anyway(but it only once or twice). We also do chores at school, the teachers will decide which group to do the chores. They did let me do chores, but only easy chore, never let me to the "hard" chores. I wish they could let me the "hard" chores, but I wasn't very unhappy since they at least give me some chores to do.

I had three Language Art teachers in Qinghe #1, one for first grade, one for second and third, one for fourth. Two of them say I was useless or not worthy(not the first grade teacher). One times I was reading in Language Art in fourth grade, but for some reason I can't read like sometimes if you can't read because you had a bad day or your tongue get twist it. My fourth grade Chinese teacher got mad and said, "OK, sit down, so useless, can't even read this." At first I laugh because all the other classmate laugh, usually when people laugh, I can't help it. However, then I got very sad that I almost cry it because what the Language Art teacher said. Although what she said it true. One times I got really bad grade in language in second or third, I forget. My language teacher said it was a waste to let me eat food. I cry because what she said was so harsh that I couldn't take it anymore, but she is right.

Talking about Useless and slow, the most problem is in PE. In my class I'm like a big heavy rock that slow everyone. The PE teacher did try to stop one times. Still, I was very unhappy to what the students respond.

Sometimes when I'm in bed I will cry little because I am so useless. Now I'm thinking back, if I wasn't living on the world, my classmate will have less problem. Maybe for other people too.

Accident Happened, No More Second Chance

意外发生了，没有第二个机会了

当我上二年级的时候，也就是2009。有一件事影响了我的人生。

有一次那些许还在洗澡（在福利院很多女孩会一块儿洗澡）。当我正要拿洗发液的时候，我不小心摔倒了而且我的头撞到了厕所地面很尖的角（厕所的地面比浴室的地面要高一点），然后我的头流血了。我哭了因为那时候很疼！所以阿姨带我去医院，然后他们缝了我的头。

有一个阿姨哭了以为她很担心我，但其他的阿姨生我的气。她们怪我不小心，还说我不听话。

等这件事发生以后，阿姨们从来都不会让我干活。在这件事发生之前，当我想干活的时候，阿姨就让我干活。但是，因为这件事发生了，我再也没有得到第二次机会。我很不高兴。每次我问我能不能干活的时候，他们老说不行因为我会摔倒。有时候我会跟阿姨抗议。但是，阿姨的力量比我大得多了，而且，没有一个孩子同意我。我也没有放弃问他们给我第二次机会。我讨厌当别人小看我。每次阿姨说不行，我会说：“竟会小看人。”，有时候她们会说：“不是，是你太逞强了。”然后我就说如果别人能做的事，我就能做。阿姨老是会说我跟别人我不一样。有一次她们竟然把我弄到每个人的前面然后问我是不是跟别人不一样。然后我听见的只是：“是！”然后他们让我回到我座位。我很不高兴。

有时候我会说我又不是一个废物。她们说：“我没说你没用”很好，如果你不让我做事，这证明你觉得我不能做事，也就是说我是一个废物。但我不是一个废物。

因为这个，阿姨老会说我是一个死脑筋。那时候，我觉得这个意思是我很笨，但现在我懂了。我不觉得我很固执。我觉得她们太自以为是了而且她们不像接受她们有时候她们有时候会有错的事实。

时间过去了，我变聪明了。我会一些事做事当她们没看的时候，这样我就不会被她们说了，而且她们从来就没知道。

我老是想，为什么她们就是不能给我一个机会，然后她们可以从这里学一点东西。

When I was second grade, which was in 2009. Something happened that affected my life.

One time the girls were in the shower (in the orphanage a lot of girls will shower together). When I was about to grab shampoo, I accidentally fall and my head hit in the sharp corner of the bathroom floor (the bathroom floor is a little higher than the shower floor) and my head started bleeding.  I cried a little because it hurt! So the nanny took me to the hospital and they sewed my head.

One nanny cried because she was worried about me, but other nannies were mad at me. They blamed me for not being careful and they said I was not well behaved.

After this happened, the nannies would never let me do chores. Before this happened, the nannies would let me do chores whenever I asked. However, because this happened, I never got a second chance. I was very unhappy. Every time I asked to do chores, they always said no because I might fall. Sometimes I would argue with the nannies. However, the nannies were much more powerful than I was, plus, none of the kids would agree with me. Still, I didn't give up asking for a second chance. I hate when people underestimate me. So every time the nannies said no, I would say back, "You just underestimate people!" Sometimes they said, "No, you overexert yourself." Then I would say if other people can do it, then I could too! The nannies would always say I was different than everybody. One time they even took me in front everybody and asked them if I was different from everybody or not. Then all I heard is "YES." Then they let me go back to my seat.  I was so unhappy. 

Sometimes I would say I am not a useless person. They said, "I didn't say you are useless." Well, if you don't let me do things, that means you think I can't do things, which means I am a useless person. Which I am not!Because of this, the nannies would always say I am very stubborn. At that time, I thought it meant I am stupid, but now I understand. I don't think I am very stubborn. I think they are too sure of themselves and they don't accept that sometimes they might be wrong.

Over time, I got smart. I would do something when they are not looking so I wouldn't get in trouble and they never knew.

I was always wondering, why they can’t just give me a chance and learn from it.